alcohol – Page 10 – Son of Stuck Funky

Father's Daze

That’s a vodka and orange? Orange juice or orange soda? Looks like piss…I can see the straw. That must be a hell of a strong drink. You’re supposed to pour the booze first, then the mixer. And where’s the ice? And why is the bar napkin next to the glass instead of under it? Did I mention I used to tend bar? These details are killing me.

Batiuk supplies another piece of the puzzle that is Pa Winkerbean: we learn that he liked the Cleveland Indians and corny jokes. The joke is similar to the one I heard after Cory Lidle died in a plane crash: they couldn’t sell beer in Yankee Stadium because they ran out of pitchers!

Meanwhile, the bartender muses to himself, Bogart-like: “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all of northeastern Ohio, this mope walks into mine…”

Guy Walks into a Bar

Raise your hand if you saw this coming.

As someone who tended bar on and off for over a dozen years, I always smile to see the classic comic strip depiction of The Bartender: wearing a bow tie and apron, and a rag wiping out a glass with a rag. That was me, kids, apron and all. Except I could usually manage a smile. This barkeep barely has a mouth; his panel 3 profile resembles Carl Anderson’s Henry (maybe this is just another tip of the Funky Fedora).

Note: In case you missed it on yesterday’s post, la gata loca broke a pretty major Funky development, so I’ve reprinted it here:

Completely unrelated to this weeks utterly depressing storyline, there’s an interesting sneak preview at some upcoming Summer 2010 strips

(SPOILER ALERT!)

In a return to the PTSD arc of a few months ago, things may be looking up for Wally in a story line, which personally, I think is very cool and remarkably un-Batiuk of late. Of course, we may yet still be cruelly disappointed.

Wanna know? Well, you know those endings have to be earned and all…still you can savor the sneak peek at:

Bio/Interviews page of the Official Funky Winkerbean website at:

http://www.funkywinkerbean.com/bio.html

I Drink Alone

Keisha returns home after a long night of bustin’ heads with her gang, the Baseball Furies. That cold bottle of Cristal would go down real good…Better put it back on ice, though; once Cayla tells her daughter who Les was gettin’ “busy” with, we’re goin’ extra innings!

Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker)

Summer Less
May 17, 2010 at 12:39 pm
…I just hope tomorrow doesn’t bring a down-trodden-looking Cayla skulking away without letting them know she’s there.

Les, you pathetic, cringing little milksop. “Actually, I did think Cayla might call…guess she has no time for poor me…” Susan, your plan worked perfectly: show up just a couple ticks ahead of Les’ woman, engage in a friendly toast…not allowing her to catch you naked together or anything; that would force a confrontation (and she would no doubt mop the floor with you). Nope, just send her away with a sheepish look on her face, and you’ll soon have Les all to yourself.

Two Silhouettes on the Shade

I know, there’s no shade; it’s a pretty big window through which Cayla spies the “man” of her dreams swilling cheap bubbly with his erstwhile stalker. Cayla, sweetie, you gotta get up pret-ty early in the morning to get the jump on Susan. Why not join the party? Go ahead and crack that bottle…right over Susan’s head. Then use the jagged neck of the bottle to carve up Les.