Tag: Batiukmobile®

City of Tiny Lites

Mason Jarr the movie star is nothing if not wistful. During his Ohio sojourn, he remarked that Westview reminded him of his dear old hometown, while tonight the lights of L.A. remind him of Christmas. They kinda remind me of the backdrop of the Johnny Carson-era Tonight Show.

We’re treated to another glimpse of Batiuk’s understanding of How the Movie Industry Works: the movie Mason was signed to star in last summer is slated for production “this year” (well that’s vague enough), but, as happened with the ill-fated Lust for Lisa telepic, the script still needs work. It’s certain that Les, who wore out his Hollywood welcome on his first try, won’t get the call. Perhaps Mason should offer to write the script, seeing as how he must now be an expert on Starbuck Jones.

God Bless You Mary Sue, Wherever You Are

Link To Today’s Strip

This one’s a real puzzler. Why would BanTom resort to an Act I retcon job here? Les wasn’t a “published author” until a few years ago, so his retconned Mary Sue memory is less than totally irrelevant here, not to mention totally out of place. I think Mason was just trying to be polite, or perhaps it’s just nervousness over being forced to ride in that very unsafe-looking Batiukmobile while Les is all hunched over the steering wheel in a most peculiar way.

I can’t believe they’re already on their way to visit the Winkerbeans. I figured it’d take weeks if not months before the story progressed that far. Then again, you know he’s just chomping at the bit to get back to those comic book fantasies again. After all, it’s been like a week and a half since comic books were front and center. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and predict that we’ll see a big box of comic books by the end of the week. Call it a hunch.

Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell

Link To Today’s Strip

Thanks to DavidO and the rest of the outstanding SoSF staff for all they do!!!

Not too long ago I was going back and forth with the SoSF staff and I mentioned how I don’t always mind getting a Les arc, as at least there’s something to really hate there as opposed to the typical “Funky is fat” idiocy. Well, the gods of the Funkyverse must have been listening, because this week something I’ve long-dreaded has come to pass…Summer (shudder) is back. Never tempt the gods of the Funkyverse, friends. The consequences are simply not worth it.

I’ve always despised Summer almost as much as Les (and Lisa for that matter). She’s always too twee, too gritty or, as you can see today, too snotty. The hair, the neck, the hoodie…it’s all so grating. Summer is truly her father’s daughter. So today she’s back in her (surprise!) robin’s egg blue car to remind us about an arc we’d all prefer to forget. If that wedding was any crappier you’d have to scrape it off the bottom of your shoes with a stick. Meanwhile Dickface is (surprise!) furiously raking leaves, as Leafpocalypse ’14 has begun. The Funkyverse’s stars are all aligning in some sort of grand confluence of boredom and misery, it’s gonna be a long, long week, snarkers.

You Left Out The “B”

Link to today’s strip.

See, it’s like John said “Garage Con” and I’m like ha ha ha more like “Garbage Con,” amirite?  So I titled this “You Left Out the B” because that’s like a totally witty thing to do which all the kids are into nowadays, not like old times when they had some respect!  Oh good heavens, just kill me now.

At least they’ve left Crazy Harry to die somewhere by the road, or he’d have come up with a third terrible comic-themed name for a place.

This whole comic book arc has been dead boring, more boring than any other story I can think of from this strip.  Having a third straight week is like being told, “Hey, where are you going?  You’re still in prison for another week!”  Even the John Darling Who Was Murdered story at least had some folks who straight out hated him, which is what every non-ninny felt was what he deserved.  And that hate at least gave rise to some semi-humorous insults and rude behavior.

The problem here is that comic books, for Tom Batiuk, are sacred objects and thus are not to be treated with disrespect–you know, like using actual jokes near them.

I have a better title than both “Fortress of Storage” and “Bookcave” put together:  “The Hill of Dung.”

Puff the Magic Wagon

Link to today’s strip.

I just have to shake my head at Holly.  Riding around in a cart is “a good idea”?  I guess it could be fun, and it gets you out into the open air, away from the human-stuffed Comic Con anchovy tin…it just doesn’t strike me as something she’d enjoy, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as something John would suggest.  It looks like something Tom Batiuk saw somewhere and said, “Hey, I gotta use that.”

If he were a far more interesting person than we’d been led to believe, I’d think John would suggest going to see Homestar Runner’s skull in the background there in the first panel on the left.  Or going to eat at Buster’s Crab.  (Can you believe I didn’t get that for a couple of minutes?  I’m getting senile.)

Physical activity for these three would be a choice of last resort.  And maybe that’s how this happened.  Maybe all sorts of suggestions were made, and Holly sighed about all of them, and Harry was no help at all, fitfully moaning into his blanket, and John, internally screaming from boredom, finally saw this cart thing, and pointed, and that’s how this strip came into being.  Another deadline met, Mr. Batiuk!  Whew!

Oh, and the answer to your question, John, is no.  None of them are helping you at all.  You’ll die alone and afraid, not knowing what’s happening to you.  Enjoy!