Tag: Cayla

People are strange, when you’re on Facebook

We’re in for another day of Les whining about his class reunion, so here’s today’s strip, or, “In which Facebook flummoxes the English teacher, tending towards his untimely demise,” because Les never met a responsibility that he didn’t flinch from.

Cayla magnanimously offers to “friend” Les. What this says about their relationship, I don’t even want to explore. I mean, what wife puts her husband in the friend zone? Let’s just say it’s been a long time since we saw that exterior view of the Moore residence in the rain, and leave it at that.

They’re not having sex, is what I’m saying.

The good news is that this storyline is being abruptly dropped, as is BanTom’s wont. At press time, I don’t know what Sunday will bring, but Monday will be a flash-cut to 25-year-old high-school juniors Owen & Cody. They will discuss the provenance of lunch.

Then there will be a Les/Funky road trip.

So, you know, abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Montoni’s pizza is people! It’s people!

In today’s strip, a slouching, lumpy Les McHarris carries a Montoni’s Pizza box home for his long-suffering wife. The box is completely white, but for “Montoni’s” and “Pizza” inscribed only on the edges. It is otherwise unadorned.

In panel 1, a hungry, hungry Cayla Wrich greets her mate with bitter sarcasm. “Our ‘meals on wheels,’” she begins with ominous scare quotes, “took a while…” She pauses menacingly, like a sharp-pincered scorpion. Venom drips from her tail. “I expected you sooner.”

“I tried calling and texting you to see what was holding you up,” she does not add, because that would interfere with the narrative, which involves characters behaving unlike any actual human.

“I got hung,” panel 2 has Les beginning succinctly, “up while I was in the process of agreeing to take over the chairmanship of my high school class reunion celebration event,” he continues, goes on, and says at length.

The final panel would have been better had Cayla stabbed Les with her foot-long stinger, cutting him apart with her claws, and devouring him. Instead, we get the punchline.

“Surely, you’re joking, Mr. Munyon.”

“Do you see me laughing?”

Do you see the readers laughing?

Sure It Was, Mason

Link To Today’s Strip

I wonder how many years he’s been waiting to finally find an excuse to use that gag? Well done, BanTom, well done. And what’s the deal with that tiny dining room table? That whole town is overrun with leaves every year but there isn’t a single table leaf to be had. Go figure.

And what the hell is up with Mason’s rapidly-receding hairline? I thought he’s supposed to be some sort of Hollywood pretty-boy, so what’s with the enormous forehead? Come on, Batom, the guy’s only been in town for like a day, the effects wouldn’t be hitting him THAT quickly. He kind of looks a little like Andrew Jackson there in panel one IMO.

Their reaction to Mason’s joke is actually totally logical if you think about it. They sit there stunned upon hearing Mason’s joke because let’s face it, how many actual jokes do these people hear? It’s like if you visited some long-lost indigenous tribe in some remote rainforest and showed them your smart phone. They just can’t comprehend it fully, there’s nothing to compare it with. Then they burst into laughter as if his joke was the funniest thing they’ve ever heard, which it very well could be. And Les is totally devastated as he realizes his dumb puns and stupid bits of wordplay will now be held to a whole different standard. So the whole thing is pretty plausible IMO. In a way, Mason Jarr is their new god. Now all he needs to do is get his hands on the holy scrolls aka Holly’s SJ collection and he’ll rule that town.

Pachyderp

Link To Today’s Strip

Ugh. Someone needs to confiscate Summer’s thesaurus. “Pachyderm in the parlor”…yikes almighty that’s just awful. Not even a big-headed kid as lame as Summer could utter anything that dumb in “real life”. Then perhaps Les could suggest a drug test for Keisha, who’s obviously been dipping into her mom’s Xanax or Thorazine stash, although I can’t really fault her for that if it is indeed the case.

Most importantly, though, someone needs to tell Mason to pay more attention while climbing those bannister-free stairs, because he appears to be a second away from taking a pretty bad spill. And you DO NOT want to get sick and/or injured in THAT town, trust me. That Taj Moore-hal is a death trap as it is, just ask Lisa. Yeah, I know she’s dead but still, she’ll probably be around shortly. Which reminds me, whatever you do there Mason, do NOT open the second door on the right because if the breeze blows out the candles on Les’ Lisa shrine, you won’t survive the night.

A Door, A Jarr

Link To Today’s Strip

And, after an absolutely mind-bending two week pause, the big Mason Jarr/Starbuck Jones arc is back. Surprisingly the arc picks up with Mason actually arriving. I assumed we’d probably get a few more weeks of Dickface and Co. babbling about it, then another two week “wow, driving to the airport is awful” sub-arc before he finally showed, but Bantom must have been feeling revitalized after all that crossover action. This is like warp speed for a FW arc.

TB is really holding firm with the “ancient shopworn old TV sitcom tropes” theme of this arc, isn’t he? The Moore ladies are all aflutter as Mason politely pretends to undress them with his starry eyes as Les looks on disdainfully as usual, disgusted once again with everyone’s complete inability to be as cool as he is around his Hollywood hotshot pal. Keisha appears to be in the throes of a convulsion while Summer is overwhelmed by being in the presence of a strong male figure for the first time in her young life. As far as Cayla goes, it’s about what I expected from her, minus the lemonade. What a strong group of believable female characters.