Turns out credit for the ‘Goats’ run at the conference championship does not belong to Coach Bushka (and really, could it ever?). Rather, it was Owen’s unlikely heroics (which will be go down in Scapegoat football lore as the “Hail Nanny” play) that sparked the winning streak. In any event, Batiuk actually manages a pretty good punchline today. I’m even prepared to overlook the fact that Tater Tots®, not fries, were the bully jocks’ projectile of choice (probably for their longer range). These three had better hope “our team” goes all the way to the championship, or the bullies will be throwing more than just spuds!
Tag: Cody
That Was Unnecessarily Beside the Point
Today’s title wrote itself, so thanks for that, TB.
Also, Owen doesn’t date because TB forces him to wear that hat. Now he won’t date because mascots are uninteresting losers.
Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner. [emphasis added]
Lame of Groans
Dammit, Batiuk, you were this close to a funny gag!“A Game of Thanes”? Drop the article “A” and you would’ve had, by FW standards anyway, an actual punchline!!! Don’t worry thought: I fixed it for you:
It’s What’s For Lunch
Well, I figured last week’s light-hearted, rather positive view wouldn’t last. Still, it was fun while it lasted. It may never happen again, but the fact that it did means that it might.
Today, the joke has been done before and better in this same strip. I think it was done just a couple of months ago, though the “better” didn’t come into play then.
I’m not sure what else there is to say; the only personality these students have tends to be somewhat loathsome, so I can’t really sympathize with their plight. If there’s anyone in whose corner I find myself, it’s the lunch-lady, once again having to deal with these cement-heads.
I thought Glasses (I can’t remember who’s who) was supposed to be the smarter of the two, so I’m puzzled by his use of the word “landed.” Is there a food fight going on, with various flying objects zizzing around? Does he think erasers are self-propelled, or that they’re manned by a tiny crew of aliens? What the heck is a “cheese square” anyway–does the cafeteria just drop a brick of cheese onto a plate and say “There you go”? Actually, I imagine that’s exactly what they do in the cafeteria since they hate these kids. Everyone hates these kids.
Well, my time in the torture chamber is over and done, so please welcome David O as your new dungeon master, starting tomorrow!
If You Give A Louse A Cookie
Well, Owen, considering the fact that you’ve been in “high school” for close to a decade, now, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that you were just in kindergarten only this morning. Perhaps Westview High is constructed as a series of “grades” wherein all the students go from a kindergarten class (at 8AM), through high school’s junior year (at 3:30PM), day after day, year after year, in some bizarre ritual that guarantees no knowledge of anything other than comic books. Why not? After all, what would an education gain these folks? The best they can hope for is to work in Montoni’s. No wonder the army looked like a far better goal to Cory.
Lest we forget, you really have to hate these characters (he said rhetorically). Owen gives blood–as a voluntary act, mind you, one for which he expects no payment other than a missed class–and rather than feel good about this, he complains about a cookie. Look at him, he’s so dispirited he can’t even ask Tom Petty for his autograph.
Son of Stuck Funky 
