Tag: coffee

Hard-y Hard Hard

Chyron HR
January 28, 2013 at 8:36 am
Fred may have trouble articulating himself, but at least he doesn’t describe everything as being “hard”.

Whereas yesterday, Darin could manage a wisecrack about the effect of the stroke on his father’s speech, today the seriousness of Fred’s condition seems to finally be sinking in. In fact, Darin’s gone to the complete other extreme, writing Fred off as not being “there anymore.” Jessica offers a perfectly sensible, sympathetic response; then, because we must have a punchline, follows it up by unnecessarily overstating the fact that she’s made an understatement. Forget Owen and Cody: these two are the biggest idiots in Westview.

Social Stupidity

Today’s panel 1: Yup, the whole Funky Winkerbean Act III worldview in a nutshell, thank ya very much.

Panel 2: Darin’s concept of how Social Security works is matched in sophistication and maturity by his understanding of marriage.

Beanie Wanker
January 25, 2013 at 7:22 am
…So what are these two idiots, 17 years old?

Impossible to tell here if Jess is being sarcastic or sincere… impossible even to tell what the hell she’s talking about.

's Not.

While he’s only been back in Westview a short while, Darin’s already got the beginnings of Batiuk Butt

I honestly don’t know what’s been hardest to swallow these last couple of weeks: Fred’s stroke prompting Ann to reveal the bitterness that permeated their married life, or Darin and Jessica, married over ten years, conversing like two newlyweds. Today we get a dose of the latter. The “kids” head to the vendos for some coffee, giving Darin a chance to ruminate on what he’s just learned about his “loving” adoptive parents. He shares with his bride of over a decade what he’s “always pictured marriage” to be like: “…being deeply in love forever and ever to the exclusion of everything else.” “Everything else” consisting of things such as putting your MBA to good use, or getting it together to buy a home instead of crashing with friends or living in a dump above a pizza parlor.

Post No. 1,000

bad wolf
December 17, 2012 at 8:32 am
…Btw, comic book fans are notoriously hard to shop for, as they’ve usually gotten whatever they wanted for themselves already, it’s so specific that you’d never guess what it is, and kids in general [are] not that interested anymore…

From Wikipedia: “A sommelier, or wine steward, is a trained and knowledgeable wine professional, normally working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of wine service as well as wine and food pairing. The role is more specialized and informed than that of a wine waiter.” I suppose this makes John a “comic book maître d’“. Dead Skunk Head’s hiring strategy seems to be paying off, as the Komix Korner is drawing adult female customers for the first time since Roberta Blackburn paid her fateful visit in 2005.

So yeah, this is the one-thousandth daily post here at SoSF. Not historic, as milestones go, but it would have no significance at all if not for the great folks who read and comment here! To show my appreciation, I’d like to award one lucky snarker a coffee mug from the Official Funky Winkerbean CafePress store! Enjoy your morning beverage from this handsome mug, emblazoned with the image of Act II Funky, showing some ‘tude as he leans against his ill-fated PT Cruiser. No more having to drink your coffee straight from the pot!

Since I’m not crafty enough to devise a real contest, the winner will be chosen totally at random from commenters on today’s post (please limit your comments just for today to two). Happy snarking, and as always, thanks for reading and stay Funky!

Rules and disclaimers: This contest is in no way affiliated with Batom Inc., King Features Syndicate, or CafePress Inc. Winner will be chosen at random from comments submitted on this blog post from midnight to midnight Eastern time, Tuesday, December 18, 2012. As this is a contest drawing, please limit your comments on today’s post to 2 (two); anyone with more than 2 comments on today’s post will be disqualified (sorry!). Winners of past giveaways are ineligible; if a previous winner is randomly chosen, then another random winner will be chosen. Winner selected at random using the WordPress plugin “And the Winner Is…” Prize valued at $13.99 US; item cost and regular shipping will be paid by Son of Stuck Funky. Winner may substitute a different mug or any other item from the Official Funky Winkerbean CafePress store of equal or lesser value. Never drink hot coffee directly from a coffeepot.