An Inconvenient Douche

Unlike Tom Batiuk, I strive to keep my personal opinions out of my “writing”. But since he insists on preaching to us (through Jim the Science Guy) about climate change (I don’t call it global warming), I’m going to vent a little “greenhouse gas” here myself: I’m one of “those people” who  do not believe that the planet is irreversibly heating up, even after the just-ended record-warm winter (which I, not being a winter sportsman, enjoyed the hell out of). There is at least as much credible scientific opinion to disprove climate change as there is to prove it.

That’s my opinion, and you, dear reader, are welcome to your own. On to today’s strip. We find Cory actually awake and paying attention in class (because even Cory is concerned about Global Warming). He shares that he “heard someone on the radio” (these kids and their radios these days, am I right?) call Global Warming “a hoax”. Cory gives a sly, demure tilt of his head, as if to say “Gee, Mr. Kablichnik, that feller on the radio can’t be right…can he? Say it ain’t so, Jim.” Jim wearily throws up his hands; he’s heard the deniers (such fools!), and sets Cory, and the rest of us, straight.

For your pleasure: previous strips dealing with the “fact” of Global Warming:

May 25, 2008: Same premise as today’s strip (and how long has Rana been in this class?) But I gotta give props to Jim for mentioning a classic Randy Newman song.

December 5, 2010: “Of course Global Warming can actually mean we get more snow. That doesn’t make sense to you?”

June 23, 2011: Principal Nate is on board with the whole global warming thing, to the point of inserting it into random conversations:

Whale Meet Again

Oh thank God, no basketball.

I strongly suspect that today’s strip was originally supposed to run last September. Mainly because Mr. Moore is assigning his language arts class their “first book” of the year…a week before the beginning of spring? Also because said book is Moby-Dick, which you’ll recall figured in Maddie’s plagiarism arc six months ago. I’ll let this go, though, knowing how much Batiuk hates it when his readers pay more attention to his strip than he does.

A Very Funky Christmas

Epicus Doomus
December 22, 2011 at 12:47 am
…Time for some “old senile people” hilarity, just in time for Xmas. Ho, ho ho indeed.

Who’s this?”, asks Pa of the guy he was sitting behind five minutes ago in Funky’s car. Dunno if TB presents this as evidence of Pa’s senility, or just to provide continuity for those Sunday-only FW readers.

Today is Christmas Day, readers! If you’re celebrating, I hope it’s a merry one for you and yours. Thanks to every one of you for snarking along, and stay funky in twenty twelve!

Child of the Moon

Professor Kablichnick’s Formula for Science Silliness: take one science factoid from last year’s news, then make a lame attempt to make said useless factoid relatable to the little monsters in his classroom, then watch as Cory rises to the bait. By the way, Jim, the lunar shrinkage occurred gradually over the last billion years. You may be old, but the difference in size since your high school days is infinitesimal. And in what way does this impact Cory? I’m pretty sure that he mutters “Perfect…why does everything always happen to me?” anytime there’s a pause in Jim’s lectures.

“Child Of The Moon”, The Rolling Stones