Tag: Dead Skunk Head

Puff the Magic Wagon

Link to today’s strip.

I just have to shake my head at Holly.  Riding around in a cart is “a good idea”?  I guess it could be fun, and it gets you out into the open air, away from the human-stuffed Comic Con anchovy tin…it just doesn’t strike me as something she’d enjoy, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as something John would suggest.  It looks like something Tom Batiuk saw somewhere and said, “Hey, I gotta use that.”

If he were a far more interesting person than we’d been led to believe, I’d think John would suggest going to see Homestar Runner’s skull in the background there in the first panel on the left.  Or going to eat at Buster’s Crab.  (Can you believe I didn’t get that for a couple of minutes?  I’m getting senile.)

Physical activity for these three would be a choice of last resort.  And maybe that’s how this happened.  Maybe all sorts of suggestions were made, and Holly sighed about all of them, and Harry was no help at all, fitfully moaning into his blanket, and John, internally screaming from boredom, finally saw this cart thing, and pointed, and that’s how this strip came into being.  Another deadline met, Mr. Batiuk!  Whew!

Oh, and the answer to your question, John, is no.  None of them are helping you at all.  You’ll die alone and afraid, not knowing what’s happening to you.  Enjoy!

Daddy Issues

Link to today’s strip.

Well, this one is just terrible.  I mean, this is the sort of strip that no one wants to read, because no one would find it funny, endearing, smart, or containing anything worthwhile at all.  It’s not even a solid waste of the two seconds taken to read it; it’s just another needle jabbed into the soul.   It’s the epitome of laziness for this laziest of strips.  It’s depressing…so I guess, touche, Mr. Batiuk.

Oh well, they’re not paying me to stare at this, waiting for something to happen, so here goes.  First, we have a jokey greeting that was a tired cliche back in the nineties, still being perpetuated here in the technical vastness of the future.  Crazy’s Grecian Formula seems to be paying off, as he doesn’t look nearly as ancient and decrepit as he usually does–though to be honest he looks more like Obi-Wan from the prequels than Luke.  (Ah, the Star Wars prequels.  Truly, entertainment suited to the Funkyverse.  If anyone should make a Funky Winkerbean movie, it’ll be George Lucas.)

Secondly, we have the whole crowd, including Holly, smirking and guffawing at this display of hilarity.  Hell, a green-haired woman in the back is so amused her face is shattering.  And a couple on the far right who appear to have dashed to Comic Con directly from their wedding–she hasn’t even taken off her veil–are staring in awe at the spectacle unfolding before them.  “See?  I told you this would be better than some dumb ol’ cruise!”

Finally, we have Comic Book John, offering one of those lines that sitcom and/or greeting-card writers would turn up their noses at.  “Only at Comic Con!” looks like it’s supposed to be a thumbs up to the event, but it comes off as a thumbed nose.

Bleah, I tell you.  Bleah.  I try to avoid criticizing Tom Batiuk personally (try, I said) but this episode is good evidence that he doesn’t care and isn’t interested in trying.

It’s also evidence of dishonesty.  What he has presented here, an episode which wallows in maudlin sentimentality, is exactly the sort of strip that he would sneer at in another comic for being frivolous and avoiding the true issues of the day.  He’d probably say it’s not serious work if these people are having fun, they should be dying of cancer.  (School play, anyone?)

Well, that oughta go a ways toward earning my paycheck.  Hey, wait a minute–they’re not paying me at all!

Thor-ly Mythed

Do they have a building occupancy fire code in San Diego? Because if the “Bermuda Rectangle” is so packed that one can’t move, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Wimpy John, who surely has been to these things before, is no help whatsoever escorting Holly through the crowd. When who should arrive on Holly’s cue: not God (who must be too busy tormenting the folks back in Westview), but a god, the God of Thunder; or maybe the God of Fluster, judging from Holly’s reaction.

Hey, being your host for the last couple weeks has been excruciating fun! Get ready for Beckoning Chasm’s turn in the barrel. See ya in the comments! —TFH

Comic-Conjoined

The three amigos check in at what looks like the San Diego Marriott Marquis & Marina, already decked out their Comic-Con attire: John’s exchanged his customary black t-shirt with a Batman logo for a black t-shirt with an even bigger Batman logo, Crazy Harry wears a Jedi outfit, and Holly has gotten out the fabric marker to make her own Komix Korner pink t-shirt; all three are sporting their smirkiest smirks.