Tag: Hollywood

Les' Story

I don’t know how Hollywood works, nor do I pretend to know. Some of you readers, though, seem to have some insight into the movie-making process, and it’s fun to compare and contrast that with Les’ Hollywood “experience”. I know even less about the network news business, so I’ll just share my musings about today’s strip.

For starters, how long has Cindy, I mean, Cynthia Summers been an anchorperson? Guess she’s no longer “embedded“. And is it just a little premature to be reporting this “news from Hollywood,” considering that not even one page of the screenplay has been written? Do plans to make a made-for-cable-TV movie even qualify as “news from Hollywood”? And are news anchors allowed to report hometown gossip as “news”?

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar…

Louder
April 11, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Right, because Hollywood studios always have someone who has zero experience in writing movie scripts writing the first draft. That always happens.

Talk about putting the cart before the horse, huh? Though he can’t even get started on his screenplay, Les imagines himself and Cayla at the Academy Awards®. Even in his fantasies, Les must be self-effacing.
Hey, douchebag: there’s no “second place” at the Oscars®: you either win it or you don’t. And if Lisa’s Story were to be nominated, it’d be in the category of “Adapted Screenplay”. And oh, yeah: they don’t hand out Oscars® to made-for-basic-cable-television “movies”.  Anyway, it’s Les’ daydream: naturally, this high school teacher and part-time pizza counterman from the Midwest beats out the likes of Tony Kushner, Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson* to take home the statuette, as Lisa’s ghost, smiling approvingly, hovers over his left shoulder.

(*Just a few of the nominees from last year)

The Academy, as the copyright owner of the Academy’s “Oscar” statuette, and owner of its trademarks and service marks, including “OSCAR®,” “OSCARS®,” “ACADEMY AWARD®,” “ACADEMY AWARDS®,” “OSCAR NIGHT®,” “A.M.P.A.S.®” and the federally registered “Oscar” design mark, is required to protect its properties against unauthorized uses and infringements.

Script? Sure

$$$Westview Oncologist$$$
April 10, 2013 at 9:09 am
Let’s play “The Price is Right”. How much do you think the dollar amount is on this douchebag’s check?

Well, if it’s enough to pay a year’s tuition at Kent times two, it’s gotta be at least $18,692. “Ann also says I get to write the first script.” I’m pretty sure that Ann says that just to mollify your massive ego, which will then be crushed once “the producers in Hollywood” bring in some real scriptwriters to do the job.

Lights! Camera! Cancer!


Today, April 9th is the official third anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky; here’s a link to the very first post. Don’t forget to enter our 3rd Anniversary Giveaway!

Cayla, honey: your first reaction to your husband’s good news probably should be something like “That’s great, baby! Congratulations!” instead of immediately trying to gauge how much money’s coming your way. “Television? Movies?!?“ Well, turns out both answers are correct in a sense…but taken together, they equal less than the whole.

John
April 8, 2013 at 5:37 pm
By the way, in said year and a half, we have yet to have an actual name for the mysterious “Hollywood Buyer”…neither a person nor a company name.

Mysterious indeed, even to Les: “something called CME…Cable Movie Entertainment”. Sounds like the Funkiverse equivalent of the Lifetime Network or Hallmark Channel. Guess that means no big-name stars, no 3-D…so much for Les’ labor of love being made into “a real movie“.

It's All Good

Today it’s Aunt Nefertiti’s turn to meet The Smug One. Les, having been touched by Hollywood, forgets that mere mortals wouldn’t understand whether having been “optioned” is good or bad, and he succeeds in alienating yet another future in-law.