hospital – Page 8 – Son of Stuck Funky

Kneed-ful Things

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A week’s worth of strips bring us back to the Moore kitchen, and absentee father Les is finally up to speed on what transpired while he was off reliving the college angst we never knew about.

The forfeit of a tournament game by the She-Goats over a rather routine injury to their co-captain has caused massive unrest among the FW snark community. Batiuk has outdone himself this time: his “quarter-inch from reality” has expanded to about a light year. Anyone familiar with team sports played at any level can see the patent absurdity of an entire team throwing in the towel under these circumstances.

In the real world:

The players would want to finish the game, and try even harder to win to honor the injured player’s sacrifice.
The injured player would be mortified, and would dissuade the rest of the team from taking such action.
The coach would never allow his team to unilaterally decide to forfeit a game, particularly during a tournament.

But in the Funkiverse, this is business as usual. Les isn’t a bit surprised by the ridiculous turn of events, and Panel 2 Summer is passing “aw shucks” sidelong looks of love at her bestie.

The Knights of Knee

PLUS:

EQUALS:

TB, if you are gonna use the exact same setup for two strips about three weeks apart, then yeah, I’m gonna mash them up in Photoshop and make fun of your work. The players have forfeited a first-round tournament game to go hang in the ER with their injured co-cap’n (and um, shouldn’t she have some ice on that thing?) And co-cap’n, rather than ream out this bunch of quitters, is only too content to lie back and bask in the adulation.

“You know how hospitals can be…”

Oh God, here we go, a weeklong kick off to “hospitals are terrible” strips. Remember, in the Funkyverse it was hospitals that killed Lisa, NOT breast cancer. Her results got switched with someone else’s results so she didn’t get proper treatment soon enough and died. The only part of that I remember went something like: “They goofed and sent the wrong test results. You know how hospitals can be.”

Hey Funky, CHILL and be glad you’re alive! True, it appears from panel 2 that they had to amputate that thumb but it was already mangled. As far as the rest of your injuries, for some reason you’re sporting a neck brace today when you weren’t yesterday. I guess people with shattered vertebrates only need a neck brace a few hours a day while they heal.

Damn it, he’s going to be ok!

Death has yet another near miss in Westview as it appears that Funky is going to be “ok”. Or, as ok as ok can be, considering it appears the accident gave him brain damage and aged him another 15 years. (From the looks of panel 5, he’s 46 going on 80) It looks like three things are for certain: Funky is going to live, the PT Cruiser is toast, and, from the look of panel one, Tom Batiuk has no idea what is actually underneath a car’s hood.

Dial Up

There’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…

Our Journey Through the Past concludes. Battered and bruised, Funky awakens in the hospital to be greeted by the once young, beautiful, happy and carefree Holly. It was all a dream…an overlong, disjointed, at times depressing and incomprehensible dream.

Now, can we please check in with Cayla to see whether she’s grown a spine?

Note from TFH: Vacation time! For the next seven days, I leave you in the very capable guest-blogging hands of DavidO.