Jessica – Page 34 – Son of Stuck Funky

Justifiable Herbicide

He’s trying for “menacing” here but he’s stuck on “clown shoes” again. Not only do I have no idea what Plantman is jabbering about, but I am at a complete loss to explain why Jessica is STILL not operating her camera, which was ostensibly her entire reason for this ponderous prison visit in the first place.

I, like 100% of the rest of the world, never read “John Darling” so I have absolutely no idea what the back story on “Plantman” is or why he’s dressed up like a plant or why it’s supposed to be funny. I am assuming that “Plantman” was to JD as Larry “Bud” Melman was to Letterman…a comedic stooge used to fill and kill time when necessary. Now I know way more about “JD” than I ever dreamed possible and yet, somehow, I still feel unfulfilled.

So this Mossman guy really did dress up like shrubbery? I don’t get it. Was he some sort of lawn & garden expert or something? Wait…do NOT answer that, I don’t want to learn more.

Prisoner: Cell Block (ZZZZZZZ)

Link To Today’s Strip

Today we get our first look at Pete Mossman aka Pete Moss aka Plantman and…well…he looks kind of like every other fat, balding and overweight Westviewian, like ever. I really thought he’d resemble a tree or something. What a letdown. I’m not really sure what he’s talking about regarding his “insensitivity”, as he didn’t say anything especially insensitive until he commented on his insensitivity, which makes no sense at all. But seriously, would you expect anything less out of this “comic” strip? Huh?

And note to Jessica: the camera works far more effectively when it’s turned on and pointed at the subject of the interview. Although in fairness that shot of the base of that prison table will probably be the most compelling footage she gets, so why not go with it?

Lockup: Westview

And you thought the only businesses in town were Montoni’s and the Komix Korner? Welcome to the redundantly named WESTVIEW PRISON. Like all the signage in Westview, the prison sign looks like it’s hand drawn on oak tag with Magic Markers…I’m surprised it’s not Scotch taped to the fence. This drawn-out sequence which adds nothing to the narrative (we didn’t see Jessica driving to her other interviews) reminds me of Dean’s Comic Booth’s great parody of Darin’s birth mother quest.

Moss Def

Batiuk would have us remember a character he killed off 23 years ago, yet he doesn’t trust us to recall Jessica’s name from one day to the next. “How goes the documentary, JESS?” “Who’s next on stage for the documentary, JESS?” And to the list of things about which Batiuk has no idea how they work, add documentaries. It’s one thing to have her use cheap home video equipment, but any halfway serious filmmaker would undertake a project, especially one as deeply personal as this, with some kind of outline. We’ve had a week of Jessica running around gathering unflattering anecdotes about her late father. Now she finds herself forced (“I didn’t want to have to do this…”) to finally get serious.

Grate Expectations

Today’s strip is just chock-full of dialogue, all of it loopy and stilted. At least someone uses a little tact when speaking about the late John Darling: his daughter. “A great self-appreciator” sounds much kinder that “egomaniacal jerk.” And it’s easier to accept that he used to “grate on people” versus “making their workplace a living hell.”

But…Darling’s murder “still a mystery”? Les wrote (and somehow published, despite losing the manuscript) a goddam book about it. Did he leave the last chapter out?