Les’ yellow shirt – Page 50 – Son of Stuck Funky

Date-Les

See: Les was so used to rejection that he didn’t even hear Lisa accept his invitation to the prom. We liked nerdy, self-conscious, pocket-protector totin’ Les back then. These days, he’s so full of himself that he regales rooms full of strangers with his boring and tragic life story. These days, Les is an insufferable prick.

Meet Mike Moore

The Delicate Genius is being squired around the set of Good Morning La Jolla by some guy who likes to give advice. Les’ interviewer (is that Colleen Dewhurst?) is unprepared to the point of not even recognizing her subject. Didn’t she skim through the book while driving in?

Given the way he carries the torch for his late spouse, and that he’s there to talk about the story of her losing battle with cancer, Les’ “this is my wife” wisecrack is disconcerting indeed.

Party of None

“Right now I’m sitting in the shade of this huge, bizarre-looking plantlike thing that threatens to consume me. How’s everything at home?” Summer, the scamp, attempts to get a rise out of her dad by pretending to be hosting a noisy group of friends. Les, who knows Summer better than anyone, is not fooled for a second.

Retcon Artist

When I just don’t know where to begin snarking, I resort to a bulleted-list format. There’s so much wrong here that this will be one of those times.

Les is “still not sure about having a book signing in a pizzeria”. If you weren’t such a pussy you wouldn’t have been browbeaten by Funky into having your event at Montoni’s. And is it a book signing or a launch party? Oh, who gives a damn.
“Meet LES MOORE author of ‘LISA’S STORY'”. Uh, I’m pretty sure that everyone in Westview already knows who LES MOORE is. And it looks like Funky went all out promoting the book signing with that huge, lavish sign. Looks like it’s handwritten on the back of a placemat.
“[M]y book, ‘Fallen Star’“…Are you talking about your manuscript that you lost in the city? The one that was retrieved by a bag lady who went on to become a literary agent who returned it to you years later? When did it become a book? I promised myself I wouldn’t waste any more time researching Funky Winkerbean history. The “unofficial” FW site cites Les as “author of a novel about the murder of John Darling”. TV Tropes says “In the later 90s, Batiuk returned to the storyline when Les wrote a book about the murder and through the writing process solved the mystery.” The web archives I’ve found only go back to 2004, and I’m not going to go to the microfilm. My assumption was: Les wrote the book, took the only copy of the manuscript with him to New York, lost said manuscript, had it handed back to him years later, and that Lisa’s Story is his first published work, which is why it’s such a big damn deal.
And if the book did come out around ’97, well, Les was not rocking the goatee and widow’s peak back then. He still had the helmet hair and goggles.
I hope those Cub Scouts go easy on Les. He does not interview well.

No “W” in Westview

Linda: “…come to think of it…Bull’s relationship with me is like a dysfunctional marriage…”

Extra Saturday treat:
One of TB’s classic hatchet-faced female profiles!

Note from TFH: I’m handing over the helm of the good ship SoSF for a week to trusted first mate DavidO…I’m not going anywhere, my brain just needs a rest! I’ll be joinin’ you lubbers below decks as we sail the seas of snark!