Jarrlost

In today’s yawner, Bantom awkwardly works in a cultural reference that is astoundingly timely by his standards. I’ve never seen Lost, but its last first-run episode aired on May 23, 2010. At the time Bantom put this strip to bed, that reference was only 3½ years old. That qualifies as “ripped from the headlines” for this creaky old oeuvre.

Still, gotta love the talking house in panel 2.

Jarr Jarr!

Meesa grateful!
Meesa grateful!

In today’s strip, Mason “Hollywood” Jarr thanks St. Les the Righteous Smirker for some as-yet unspecified “help.” Les’s speech balloon in panel 3 is too small to contain the text I expected: “Mason Jarr, the movie actor who was meant to portray me, Les Moore, whose one true wife died of cancer, but then couldn’t, because kill fee, and took the job of portraying Starbuck Jones in the coming Starbuck Jones film adaptation, in which Mason Jarr appears.”

Back in panel 1, with its rakish split-screen motif, Mason’s poolside phone chat illustrates why California is so much better than Ohio. Mason’s illustrator, however, has failed to pick up on recent trends in portraying action heroes. Here I’m thinking of Chris Pratt’s transformation from amiable schlub to rock-hard stud. Mason, in contrast, looks positively couchey-potatoey, gooey-wooey.

All I would have to do to become an action star is move a mere ¼ inch from reality, without logging any gym time, if this awesome guy is any proof.

Tree at Last, Tree at Last

Westviewians’ “every silver lining has a cloud” mentality takes no holiday. Just as the summertime county fair comes with “an undercurrent of melancholy“, Christmas – Christmas, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – ebbs away too soon. I guess that’s why Les and Cayla are taking down the Taj Moore-hal tree a little early this year (last year they left it up almost four weeks after Christmas). Of course, those greedy amoral morons who run the department stores manage to milk Christmas profits year round.

Snarkers, it’s been a pleasure as always bringing the FW commentary to you these last few weeks. Tune in tomorrow as Mr. Oddnoc steps up to the plate! Swinging a chainsaw!

Let Me Make It Plane

I’m a little worried about Les’ being “a little worried about Funky.” It’s a business trip, or so we’ve been told (although many of you pointed out yesterday the absurdity of scheduling business travel a week before Christmas). He didn’t just up and “take off”.

Instead of standing around the airport muttering to himself, Funky should learn a thing or two about air travel from his old pal Les: don’t be miserable, be a douchebag to everyone you meet and make them miserable!

‘Twas the Flight Before Christmas

I wonder what “business” requires “the Funkman” to travel by plane. He’s not visiting the franchise locations, since the New York shop closed up years ago.

We’re all familiar with Batiuk’s use of “photo album corners” and sepia tones to depict past events. Today he thoughtfully employs a similar visual cue, the “squiggly-bordered panel”, lest the reader become confused by the abrupt jump-cut from Montoni’s to some airport.