Tag: Les

La Douche

I suspect that rather than carry them over into the new year, Batiuk is obligated to burn off every shitty pun that he’s scrawled on a Luigi’s napkin over the last twelve months. Even the puns in French, which are harder for people who are not Les Moore to “get”. Polishing this turd of a gag into a strip requires Les to deliver the jeu de mots, since he’s the only one intellectual enough to coin (and appreciate) such a clever jest.

In Dreams, You’re Mine

Link to today’s strip.

I guess this could be considered a “happy” strip, and Lord knows there aren’t many of those.   The joke seems to be that this is a collection of tiny, tiny dreams, and–surprise–these are the very dreams that these folks desired the most when they were young.  Okay, now it’s kind of depressing, honestly.

It might be that only Harry is really living his dream, and that the others are thinking “Jesus wept, Harry.  Thanks for reminding me how far I’ve failed.”  No one looks happy in the last panel, except Harry, who looks deliriously happy.  One might almost call him “Crazy.”

When I was in high school, I dreamed about my future as well…and it was never anything like “co-owner of a restaurant” or “clerk in a comic book shop.”  My dreams were rather more grandiose.  Admittedly I haven’t achieved them, but at least I had them, and there’s always hope.

I guess in Westview there’s never hope, so it’s best to keep your dreams small, because that’s all you’ll get as life slowly crushes you under its heel.  If you don’t die first, that is.  Then, you win!

After a week of pretty bad artwork, this episode shouldn’t be unexpected, but wow.  Those faces in the last panel are just awful.  And what’s going on with Les and Funky in panel two?  Funky is a shrunken old man, half a head shorter than Les, while Les seems to be missing half of his head.   Suddenly in the last panel Funky is taller than Les.  Also in that panel, Les is smirking so hard it looks like his beard is trying to tear itself off his face.

Well, if I wanted to nitpick the artwork, I’d be here all night…and in fact, the Guest Host SoSF chair has tossed me out!  Watch Monday as DavidO takes up the reins (or as Tom Batiuk would say, the rains) as the strip continues to hurtle Hellward.

Bull’s Story

Link to today’s strip.

So, the dreaded Les at last makes his appearance just to rub Bull’s disappointments into his face.  This is why this comic strip is nowhere near reality, because in reality, Les would have been murdered long ago…by the entire town.  When the cops came, it would be like that scene in Spartacus.  “I am Les Moore’s murderer.”  “I am Les Moore’s murderer.”  “I am Les Moore’s murderer.”

There should be an eighth panel in today’s strip:

It would have shown panel six’s wagging finger snapped off and jammed down Les’ throat.  Bull would stand behind, arms folded.  “Yeah, Les,” he’d say, smirking.  “You know exactly how I feel.  You were given massive amounts of money, took two years to do your job, were flown out first class to Hollywood, were wined and dined and fawned over.  You whined and moaned the entire time until you managed to kill the production, and you got to keep the money, all because they wanted to make your sacrosanct story into one that people might actually be interested in seeing.  I, however, did everything I was supposed to do, and got screwed over by Fate.  So, yeah, you sure know exactly how I feel.  Now you know how Frodo feels.”

It just seems pointless to remind Tom Batiuk, Author, that Les gleefully killed the production of “Lisa’s Story.”   The job of Hollywood Screenwriter was his for the taking and he threw it away because it made him a little fish in a big pond, where he just wasn’t special anymore.

Mr. Batiuk, when you yourself can’t even remember the details of your own work, I feel absolutely no guilt in mocking it.

There’s just something evil about Les in today’s offering.  Look at him happy and smirking in panels three and seven (I’m counting the masthead), looking so pleased with himself that he can dig into his old nemesis’ wounds and jerk a little pain out.  The fact that he still lives makes this strip far more of a fantasy than Starbuck Jones could ever aspire to achieve.

Of all the characters in this strip, few inspire as much sheer hatred in me as Les Moore.   There’s one other who comes close, and you’ll never guess what my Guest Host Superpowers are revealing to me even as we speak!