Tag: Les

Rainy Day Assholes #1 And #2

Link To The Strip

Well, they’ll bore you when you’re trying to be so good
They’ll bore you just like they said they would
They’ll bore you when you’re trying to eat a slice
And when you’re at The Korner haggling over price
Why do I read this anymore?
Everybody must get bored

If I was Bob Dylan I’d be genuinely terrified right now. I do know how Funky feels, though, as I do the same thing, but with Handsome Dick Manitoba. It’s pretty funny how Funky is already a jaded obituary-reading expert, because of course he is. Just two dear old pals, shooting the shit at a burial service in the rain, caring a little, but not too much…that’s the FW experience in a nutshell.

Celebrity Death Fool

Link To Today’s Drollery

It comes as no surprise to me that Les enjoys seeing celebrities die, as he’s always been a spiteful scumbag and all. The clumsy dialog in panel two baffled me at first, until I realized it was merely BatYam’s typically oafish way of explaining that Les was more of a beginning obituaries reader, as opposed to being a sad old coot scanning the obits to see which friend, colleague or associate died on any given day. Which is a premise just dripping with comedic potential…all of it unrealized, of course.

Come Sweat Death

Link To This One

The indignities just keep piling up for the late Mary Sue, all because she didn’t deign to satisfy Les Moore’s disgusting adolescent urges back in high school. Too bad for her, as if she’d have put out for Les she’d probably still be dead, but at least she’d be a venerated martyr and not the subject of this droll wry funeral banter courtesy of Dick Facey and his fat elderly pal. But that was her choice, and now she has to live with it. Well, not “live”, exactly, but you know what I mean.

It was mentioned in yesterday’s comments a few times so it’s not an original thought, but who happens across the obituary of an old high school classmate, then decides to be-bop and freestyle all over their funeral? A self-absorbed, depraved, bearded dick with ears, that’s who. This guy carries around his old high school grudges like they’re herpes.

“Hey, old pal from high school! Know who just died? Joe Blow, our old high school classmate we didn’t know very well.”

“That f*cking guy cut in front of me in the cafeteria line once. Let’s go to his funeral and mock him.”

Seems pretty harsh to me. It’s almost like he’s embarrassed about those old Act I “Mary Sue Sweetwater’s perfect bod” strips and wants to atone for them by utterly destroying Mary Sue to the point of actually killing her off, which again, seems pretty harsh to me.

Mary Sue’s Gettin’ Buried Tonight

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh yeah, Mary Sue Sweetwater. She was everyone’s dream fantasy girl back in high school, then she got frumpy and fat, and now she’s dead. And now Les is at her funeral, talking to Funky about how her death affects him. This sure seems familiar. I have to assume that BatYam’s high school memories are nothing short of harrowing, given how much he enjoys these revenge arcs, where Les dances on his old high school foils’ rainy, windswept graves. Les wins again.

I’m just relieved that it’s not comic books again. It says a lot about FW when you’re actually pleased to get an arc that’s set in a cemetery. The rain, the windswept graves, the depressing morose banter…I feel like we’re home again.

Please Re-Lisa Me, Les Me Go

It’s been great being able to comment on one of the weirder recent arcs.

—spacemanspiff85, yesterday

And kudos to you, Spiff, for the past fortnight of great posts!

Listen: Harry Klinghorn has come unstuck in time. Harry has gone to sleep a befuddled boomer and…well, he’s still a befuddled boomer but he’s revisiting his high school years. He has walked through a door in 2022 and come out another one in…‘78? ‘88? Who the fuck knows?

Oh yeah, nothing sketchy at all about a graybearded stranger accosting a teenage girl outside the high school to talk about boys. But hey, that’s Crazy Harry! Mousy Lisa, for her part, is not the least bit fazed to find herself chatting with this weirdo.

Les’ teenaged penchant for hanging out alone in the bleachers (during lunch…after lunch, he would probably be expected in class) actually is a recurring Act I theme. And, speaking of Act I, who else remembers Westview High School’s Cliff the Security Guard? Me neither! But I’ll bet he and classic Crazy Harry were well acquainted, and they’re about to meet again…across…the Time Zone!

Hey Snarkers! Amidst all the “excitement” of Tom Batiuk’s 75th birthday, and Funky Winkerbean‘s 50th anniversary, I sort of let the 12th anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky go by unremarked. Yep, on April 9th, 2010, we picked up the sputtering torch of the original Stuck Funky, and kindled it into a blazing…well, into a very niche comics snark blog. A long-running comics snark blog, and this never would have happened without the contribution of Epicus Doomus, billytheskink, ComicBookHarriet, spacemanspiff85, beckoningchasm, and everyone who over the years has guest-authored, commented, or just read and enjoyed. Batty is showing no inclination to putting down the Funky Felt Tip, so stick with Team SoSF, the web’s premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark. Thanks all!