Somewhere between yesterday’s second panel and today’s first, Les’ bemused expression has been replaced by one of abject terror. It must be his reaction to Funky’s Vulcan grip on his shoulder as, wild-eyed, he explains to Les why it is immutable destiny that the launch party be held at Montoni’s…rather than at someplace without a red, white and green awning.
TB also introduces a new visual effect, sort of a “sepia telescope” through which past events are viewed. Interesting to note how vans figure in Darin’s delivery as well as his conception. And hoo-boy: does Les on his wedding day look like a gay Batman or what‽
That loud, metallic grinding you hear is Batiuk abruptly and inartfully shifting narrative gears back to the Les Gets Published story arc. “Hey, Les: since you and I are standing around in this deserted pizzeria, without any customers to attend to, I might as well stroke your ego by asking if that book of yours will ever see print.” Observe Les’ trademark smug, sidelong glance as his favorite topic is raised. “Ahem, yes, well, my publicist…she’s in New York, you know…is diligently seeking the proper venue for the launch par-tay…” Because that’s such a goddamn important detail in releasing a book. She can take her time booking a place: that mimeograph machine over at KSU Press only cranks out about ten pages a minute. Then they gotta collate and staple everything together.
Funky wastes no time in offering, no, insisting, to host Northeastern Ohio’s literary event of the decade at, where else, Montoni’s! …immediately sending Les into “thanks but no thanks” mode. “It’s a launch party…not a youth soccer awards banquet/after-bowling soiree/kiddie birthday party…”
I ask you: what comic strip other than Funky Winkerbean would reference “anger issues” two days in a row?
Judging from the shape of the delivery guy’s head, Funky has ordered t-shirts from a screen-printing shop on planet Remulak. I actually chuckled a little over how in panel 2, Crazy Harry is ready to throw down at the sight of a courier from the hated UPS (as if Funky would have any say in which shipping method his vendor uses). I guess Harry’s still smarting from this week’s news of the Postal Service’s fiscal-third-quarter loss of $3.5 billion.
I kinda like the slogan “You Want a Piece of Me” for a pizza joint. So do the folks at Dodson’s Pizza in New Lexington, Ohio. Wonder how far that is from Westview?
The good news here is that the nearly two-month long Funky-thon (if you go back to June 9 when DSH John ccouldn’t pay his rent) appears to be concluded at long last (except we will never know what happened to the other driver).
The bad news? Les in an apron. And “Crazy” Harry, “thinking”. Apparently the only postal worker Batiuk has ever known is a guy from Boston named Cliff Clavin. Of course, Cliff was able to make us laugh, while “Crazy’s” musings only serve to give us douche chills.
And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job, and that there is no one on earth like him, blameless and upright, fearing God and avoiding evil?” But Satan answered the LORD and said, “Is it for nothing that Job is God-fearing? Have you not surrounded him and his family and all that he has with your protection? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his livestock are spread over the land. But now put forth your hand and touch anything that he has, and surely he will blaspheme you to your face.
The Book of Job, 1:8-11
In the story of Job, God, at the Devil’s urging, singles out a good, decent guy, upon whom he visits misfortune after misfortune, just to see how much poor Job can take without losing faith. Despite having all his possessions destroyed, his offspring wiped out, and a hideous case of boils, Job hangs tough. His words to his wife sum up his attitude: “[S]hall we receive good from God and shall not receive evil?” Job’s friends come to visit and all wonder what Job has done to deserve this treatment. After his ordeal, Job is rewarded by God with double his riches, more offspring, and another 140 years of life on Earth.
Our modern-day Job understands and has come to accept his role as God’s Punching Bag. “I used to go years without stuff like this happening to me (Shall we receive good from God…) and now it happens to me every five minutes (…and shall not receive evil?)”
That’s our sermon for today, folks! Thanks again to David O for guest-blogging in this space last week.
Son of Stuck Funky 
