Tag: Owen

Slab Me Silly

bad wolf
December 11, 2013 at 8:23 am
…Believe me, the [comics] industry has had a long conversation about these man-cave stores with geek-babble spouting salesmen freezing out potential customers by putting up a wall of ‘secret passwords’ and inner-sanctum speak. So yes, if TB is trying to show us what’s wrong with comic stores today, he’s doing a bang-up job.

It had been going so well, too, with John patiently explaining the nuances of comic book grading. That is, until Holly asked a perfectly reasonable question, earning not just John’s disdain but also garnering dirty looks from freaks Alex and Owen

Holy Fail

“Another universe“? “Secret password“? “A journey of biblical proportions“? For fuck’s sake, we’re talking about comic books! Dead Skunk Head John’s (and Tom Batiuk’s) favoritest things in the world! And rather than directly answer Holly’s question (said answer being “Oh, hells yes”), John climbs into his Comic Book Guy pulpit and starts spewing his jibba jabba. The punchline fails because John clearly is speaking English. Panel 3 would be funnier without dialogue: just Holly standing there with a blank expression. Wait: that would fail too, though, since Holly’s expression is always blank…

I mean no disrespect to real-world comic book aficionados; I know that there are some of you reading this blog. But the majority of folks don’t know or care about comic books. Question for comics fans: Batiuk’s writing this with you in mind…do you find any of it amusing?

Pop the Korner

Holly carries her bulk up the stairs to the Komix Korner. Speaking of bulk, Owen’s goatee does little to conceal his double chin; when did that happen? That flight of stairs is probably the only exercise that any of the characters in today’s strip get.

Anyway, business at the Korner seems to have picked up since last December: not only can John now afford a nicer Christmas tree, but he’s sporting one of those cool t-shirts with a Batman logo that magically disappears!

Candid Crap-ola

Today’s strip

Ahhh-haaa! I knew Owen was up to something with the way he was holding that phone all suspiciously the other day. Now he has all the evidence Principal Nate needs to put a stop to the big Metamucil theft ring that’s plaguing WHS. These kids today and their regular bowel movements, I’ll tell you what. I just hope there’s something in the Big WHS Student Handbook about bullying being banned because if there isn’t, poor Owen is f*cked once Wedgemen discovers he filmed him without expressed written or verbal consent.

Coming tomorrow: Nate consults the Big WHS Student Handbook and discovers there’s no rule against using and/or stealing Metamucil (or any fiber-based supplements or laxatives) on school grounds. Nate angrily dismisses a confused (redundant, I know) Owen from his office, telling him he’s tired of this shit. After realizing it’s another awful Batom pun, everyone groans in disgust and vows to stop reading FW forever, only to read it again the next day.

A Little “Backed-Up”

Today’s strip

Congrats to those who selected “something really stupid” in yesterday’s poll! If you selected “non-prescription drugs”, yeah, you’re technically correct too, I suppose. If you selected “prescription drugs” I’m sorry but you lose. That kind of reckless drug abuse might fly over at Mary Worth or Dilbert or whatever, but recreational drug use has no place in this comic strip. It just has too much potential to be interesting.

I would have assumed that Imodium was the OTC drug of choice for the average Westviewian, given their typical all-Montoni’s diets, but I suppose all that unsanitarily-made pizza could indeed have….uh…the “opposite” effect, as they say. This will conclude any and all speculation re: Alex’s (or any other FW character for that matter) colonic issues. A disturbing mental image, to say the least. At least we know where Wedgeman will be for the next several hours, but how happy he may or may not be remains to be seen. On the plus side, if he’s also on the WHS wrestling team he shouldn’t have too much trouble making weight this week.

Coming tomorrow: the evil Wedgeman doesn’t stop at fiber, also shaking Alex down for her blood pressure monitor, her walker and her AARP prescription card as a befuddled Owen looks on stupidly as usual.