Nothing Is Really Work Unless You Would Rather Be Doing Something Else

You really work for Atomik Komix?” “Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late…ah, I use the side door…that way Chester can’t see me, heh heh – and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I’m working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I’d say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.” Yeah, I stole that from Office Space, which is light years funnier, truer to life, and more timely than Funky Winkerbean.

For a comics geek, this guy is more than a little intimidating. His menacing demeanor, drab coat, and especially his Mohawk remind me of DeNiro in Taxi Driver…let’s call him Travis Brickel. Not only does he swear in front of a small child, by panel three he’s advanced on our group. And he’s totally just ignoring Pete, which is hilarious. I don’t think Pete’s panel 3 expression is fear; he’s just really hurt by what the guy said.

This strip actually might have been compelling had Batiuk kept it to only two panels. Check out my hastily composed edit:

Instead, he just has to give Mindy a comeback. Instead of shooting back with some #@!*🌩 of her own, the best sick burn she’s able to muster is a passive aggressive “Nice to meet you too!” Batty doesn’t even bother to put her words in one of those speech bubbles with icicles hanging off it.

It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Busman!

Banana Jr. 6000
December 4, 2021 at 2:02 pm
[Pete and Mindy] getting married or having children makes no sense to me. Their relationship is built around their mutual desire to avoid adulthood. Which is Batiuk is probably going to make it happen.

And which also would qualify them as ideal babysitters for Skyler! Look, I know there’s no point in bitching about the way time passes in the Battyverse, but this kid would just have turned eight years old. He hasn’t changed a lot since we saw him last two Christmases ago. He still hasn’t been introduced to comic books and pizza?

I Don’t Need No Doctor

none
September 10, 2021 at 11:16 pm
The only thing that he has ever conveyed in any of this Atomic Comic trash are the Ideas. That’s it. Here’s the name of the book, here’s the cover to the #1 issue, and everything else – story, marketing, advertising, criticism, reception – is irrelevant.

Banana Jr. 6000
September 11, 2021 at 9:20 am
…“This superhero is based on air” is not a story. It’s not even a character. But whatever, give us the goddamn Sunday comic book cover already so we can get this shit over with.

You asked for it, Banana Jr. 6000! Meet…DDCTDR ATMDS! Those who read Funky only in the Sunday funnies won’t have the benefit of knowing the backstory of the Doctor’s fascinating origin. I think they’d be more likely to assume the this comic’s title character was the figure flying in from the right. The one on the left looks more sinister, and appears to throwing off a whole bunch of “killer watts!” Nobody should be shocked that Batty uses the reality bubble at lower right for three weak electrical puns. Two puns, actually: Pete’s not pronouncing it “revolting.” He’s literally revulsed. Pete is as sick of these two as we are.

Tell, Don’t Show

Mr. A
September 10, 2021 at 9:37 am
It’s never been more obvious that Batiuk came up with an idea for a cool comic-book cover first, and worked backwards from there. On Saturday they’ll name the water character, and then we’ll see the cover art on Sunday, and then we’ll be done.

Two outta three ain’t bad, Mr. A! I didn’t even get today’s gag until the third or fourth read through. Why was the writer teasing the artist about an “obsession with writing things down”? I suppose that Phil is implying that he did the real work of drawing, while all Flash had to do was spin a “story” without even having to set it down in written form.

So we won’t know yet how the fourth character, representing the water element, will be (the Inedible Pulp, perchance?) But yes, tomorrow we’ll see a Comix kover (desktop users, get ready to rotate those monitors). And then we’ll be done. And, speaking of teasing, we’ll reconnect with yet another octogenarian FW character, one whom we’ve only seen in a single cameo in all of 2021!


Addendum

The Batty blog is running the FW strips from the aftermath of September 11, 2001. The strips are really…not so bad (this was still Act II), and, to TB’s credit, they ran less than one month after the attacks (not a year later, as is the case with his Covid content). Anyway, I’m bringing this up as an excuse to post the most savagely funny sendup of a certain self important cartoonist from Ohio. Never forget.

Atmos, at Least

[A] hero who’s composed of air,” encased in an airtight suit. Doctor Atmos basically a man-sized balloon animal. Not where I might’ve gone with this “Elements” concept, but in fairness to Batty, no worse than some real-life comics concepts. Since returning from the “dead,” Phil has grown more youthful looking each day, while “Flash” and Ruby remain their wizened selves. Darin’s corny, round spectacles don’t do any favors for his youthful looks (and let’s face it, he and Jess have to be pushing forty).  Pete has always looked middle aged, but today his face just looks bizarre.