Wow. Les’ ego-fest just gets better and better. The years have not been kind to Mary Sue’s “most wanted bod”, and now Les, who in high school was such a nerd as to wear glasses in the swimming pool, can enjoy feeling even more superior to her. No “Hi, Mary Sue, thanks for coming, so nice to see you again!” Instead it’s “Really…what a surprise…you’ve gotten so…so fat. Muah-hah-haaahhh!“
Tag: photo album corners
Retcon Artist
When I just don’t know where to begin snarking, I resort to a bulleted-list format. There’s so much wrong here that this will be one of those times.
- Les is “still not sure about having a book signing in a pizzeria”. If you weren’t such a pussy you wouldn’t have been browbeaten by Funky into having your event at Montoni’s. And is it a book signing or a launch party? Oh, who gives a damn.
- “Meet LES MOORE author of ‘LISA’S STORY'”. Uh, I’m pretty sure that everyone in Westview already knows who LES MOORE is. And it looks like Funky went all out promoting the book signing with that huge, lavish sign. Looks like it’s handwritten on the back of a placemat.
- “[M]y book, ‘Fallen Star’“…Are you talking about your manuscript that you lost in the city? The one that was retrieved by a bag lady who went on to become a literary agent who returned it to you years later? When did it become a book? I promised myself I wouldn’t waste any more time researching Funky Winkerbean history. The “unofficial” FW site cites Les as “author of a novel about the murder of John Darling”. TV Tropes says “In the later 90s, Batiuk returned to the storyline when Les wrote a book about the murder and through the writing process solved the mystery.” The web archives I’ve found only go back to 2004, and I’m not going to go to the microfilm. My assumption was: Les wrote the book, took the only copy of the manuscript with him to New York, lost said manuscript, had it handed back to him years later, and that Lisa’s Story is his first published work, which is why it’s such a big damn deal.
- And if the book did come out around ’97, well, Les was not rocking the goatee and widow’s peak back then. He still had the helmet hair and goggles.
- I hope those Cub Scouts go easy on Les. He does not interview well.
Oh my…Darling?!?
What the…
Via flashback, Batiuk resurrects the other character whom he famously killed off. I guess the Westview football coaches really do have to talk to the media. And back when “Bull” Bushka was still playing (I’m guessing that’s him in panel 3, holding his helmet and weeping), their coach was…I don’t know, some guy. Young Ed Crankshaft, perhaps? Well, he does share Ed’s doorknob-esque nose, as well as his “is-he-being-sarcastic-or-is-he-really-that-clueless” worldview.
Pizza Logic
Somewhere between yesterday’s second panel and today’s first, Les’ bemused expression has been replaced by one of abject terror. It must be his reaction to Funky’s Vulcan grip on his shoulder as, wild-eyed, he explains to Les why it is immutable destiny that the launch party be held at Montoni’s…rather than at someplace without a red, white and green awning.
TB also introduces a new visual effect, sort of a “sepia telescope” through which past events are viewed. Interesting to note how vans figure in Darin’s delivery as well as his conception. And hoo-boy: does Les on his wedding day look like a gay Batman or what‽
You Know What They Say About Payback…
Oh no she din’t. Girlfriend is being very forward with Mr. Moore, th’ hell with Cayla. Well, I guess the only way a passive schmuck like Les gets a date is when the ladies ask him out; she’ll probably pick up the check, too. But he’s so worth it.
And how about that third panel? “It’s the least I can do for the guy who saved my life.” Hon, did he pull you out of the lake? Or a burning house or car? You tried to kill yourself over him! Saving your weak sorry ass was the least he could do to avoid a lifetime of guilt and possible legal action! GET OVER YOUR SELF!
Son of Stuck Funky 
