Doesn’t anybody in Westview know how to neatly apply Scotch tape? Tony, per favore, keep holding that sign right where you have it: you’re sparing us all from another glimpse of Funky’s huge ass. At least today’s retro flashback is good for a chuckle, taking us back to the days before Darin’s “I-Phone” app.
Tag: pizza
Many Harry Returns
“So Crazy Harry is fifty-two!” No shit, really? Y’know, because he doesn’t look a day under seventy-five! Funky and Holly treat our quinquagenarian postman to a Montoni’s pie with delicious melted wax topping.
Say what you will about Batiuk; he must be a man of faith. How do we know this? Because he takes so many Sundays off! Great birthday tribute by the way…nothing says “happy birthday” like a reminder that “the sands of time are running out”.
Pie 'n' Cry
Les continues to distinguish himself as Westview’s, nay, Ohio’s…hell, the world’s most clueless jackass. He decides to “cheer up” Summer and Keisha by bringing them to Montoni’s. The girls stare at their pizza in disgust while Cayla absently fingers a blemish on her chin. I’m sure that the next stop is Les’ favorite park bench.
The Breakfast Club
Holy pepperoni, Funkman, I’ll say it’s a roaring success: practically all of Westview (except, sadly, for Cory) has turned out to sample Montoni’s New Breakfast Pizza. Did Cody and Owen grow a couple feet taller over the summer, or do they just seem tall standing behind tiny Kevin? Even some celebrities have turned out, including Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (behind Funky and Darin) and former child star Mason Reese (behind Maddie).
Hey Kids!
“…and when I say ‘market it’, of course what I mean is whipping up a crude sign with magic marker on a piece of oaktag, and sticking it in the window. Oh, and let’s throw in ‘endless coffee’…who doesn’t love to drink hot coffee with their pizza, right?”
Son of Stuck Funky 