smirk – Page 54 – Son of Stuck Funky

Molasshole

With today’s strip, Owen crosses the line from borderline likeable/sympathetic, and joins most of the rest of the FW cast in the “despicable jerk” column (his pal Cody having made that transition a couple months ago). Owen’s whole shtick consists of answering questions by rephrasing and restating what he’s been asked: “Revenge” isn’t the “gold standard of getting back at someone”…it’s the very definition of getting back at someone. “Connecting the dots“? “I think I see where you’re going with this“? Th’ fuck’s the matter with this boy?

And molasses? Really? Wouldn’t it take a really long time to pour a gob of molasses on each and every senior’s locker? And how is this “revenge”? What he’s really doing is making more work for Westview’s poor janitor, who is still seeking his own revenge on whoever pissed in his closet 20 (or 30) years ago…

Bingo, Shakespeare

“Are we still going to be allowed to talk with you now that Hollywood has come calling? Because, you know, even before this movie option thingy, you were already an insufferable egomaniacal prick. Oops, was that last part out loud?”

Sunday Morning Quarterback

Link

Sure, Bull played football in his glory days (though not as a QB). But doesn’t everyone associate tossing wads of paper into a wastebasket with, um, basketball? Not in the bizarro world that is Westview! Bull sees the trashcan not as a stationary goal but as a mobile and sentient wide receiver. What sport does he coach again? But I guess if he was pretending to be shooting baskets, he’d have no excuse for missing every one. To readers whose newspapers don’t run the upper “throwaway” panels, the “joke” is even more perplexing.

The thing that today’s strip gets right, though, is the cold, sickly glow of institutional fluorescent lighting.

You Know He Knows Just Exactly What the Fax Is

Darin treats his new employers to a preview of Montoni’s mobile ordering site…using his laptop. Well, the laptop is “mobile” compared to that clunky old Pear Computer™ Bartlett II® on which he unveiled Montoni’s early website.

If You Can't Dazzle 'em with Brilliance…

After Les has softened them up, it’s Darin’s turn to show Tony and Funky what he brings to Montoni’s table. Young Fairgood’s eyes take on a maniacal glint as he lays out his mobile marketing strategy. But Darin’s real strategy is to bullshit these two suckers into thinking that he has all the answers. Which he accomplishes in a mere two panels.