Wish I could kick both of them, in the head, repeatedly. “I’m fat, I’m slow, I’m aging terribly, I’m dying”…yeah yeah yeah, Funky, we know. Give it a rest already. Every time these two tools jog together it’s the same old story. And look at Les today, with his look of condescending faux-“concern” for his obese pal…what a dick.
Tag: Son of Stuck Funky
One In The Bush
At first I thought this was another variation on “Les & Funky are slow”, until I realized what was really going on here. Lo and behold, a pee-pee gag. First one since “Fred’s fake yelp of pain when toilet seat falls” gag from the stroke arc, as far as I can recall. Mild chuckle worthy! Les doesn’t have any dialog! (Although I could have done without the disdainful look in panel two. What a dick.) This is rare, enjoy the silence!
Every Breaths You Take
“I can sort of pace myself by counting each breath as I run”. There Batom, was that so damned hard? If I didn’t speak fluent Batomese that first sentence would have confused the hell out of me. The Medina Mangler strikes again.
And here’s an alternate sentence to replace whatever the hell Les is jabbering about in panel two: “Mtlplx foplo sghrklit ba nono Carl Lewis blah trsphliy”. It makes just as much sense, it’s just as relevant and it’s definitely just as funny. I have to assume Batom was getting all worked up about the 2012 Olympics around that time, thus the completely random Usain Bolt comment. More like Insane Dolt if you ask me.
My overwhelming hatred for Les is really beginning to boil and we’re only two days into this thing. Funky must still owe him money because there’s no rational explanation for why he’s not bouncing Les’ head off the sidewalk in panel three. What a dick.
I Thought Frankie Was The Slugger??
To be honest, I’m not really sure what in the hell is going on here. What are Jessica and Boy Lisa gloating about? Don’t they ever tire of eating that Montoni’s food? And is Frankie actually suffering from pangs of remorse and/or jealousy there in panel six? And, if so, why wait until NOW to finally allow the character to express an emotion other than evil self-centered sneering? And the biggest question of all: was it really necessary to add this little coda to a story that was, for all intents and purposes, already over? At least I HOPE it’s over, that is, because with this Batom guy you never really know.
Note the subtle way he “Frankie-fied” that floating disembodied Darin head there in the lead panel. Bleh, that’s going to haunt my dreams tonight.
Frankie The Quitter
So it comes to this: the huge Frankie Date Rape Mega Retcon arc dies a limp, soggy death. Frankie stomps away sneeringly, defeated by Saint Lisa’s magical powers and unimpeachable veracity, while his sidekick/accomplice/henchman/back-up White Lenny off-handedly offers Jessica a possible paying gig. Which she of course sarcastically mocks in the Westviewian way these obnoxious people have. What a debacle this turned out to be. Good riddance to bad garbage, I say re: Frankie…the last thing that town needs is more sneering. Such a disappointment.
So, where does this one rank with Act III’s most epic disasters? I have it a close third, right behind Funky’s car crash/time travel arc and Les’ book-tour-launch, still the gold standard in annoyingly long, ponderous irritating mega-arcs. Although they all kind of suck equally when you really stop to think about it.
Son of Stuck Funky 