Tag: sports

Keisha Brings It

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20110103&name=Funky_Winkerbean

One of the perks of being the heart and soul of the Lady Scapegoats squad: access to the gym for the dynamic duo whenever they’re up for a little one-on-one. Um…do these two young women have any friends aside from one another?

Chron.com Sucks (Update)
Turns out there was something up with Chron.com’s comics pages. I noticed last week that you could no longer access earlier strips by altering the date string in the URL. Now when you do that, a you get a message that says “For comics older than 30 days, go to DailyInk.com”. DailyInk charges an annual membership fee of $19.95. So long, free comic archives. This effectively kills all the links to earlier strips in the Act III section of this blog.

Pencil Mania

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I’ve read this “gag” over and over and, maybe because my senses have been dulled by holiday revelry, I just do not get the punchline. “Four pencils and an eraser” equals five…there’s five on a side, right? So they’re all tall except for one short player (the “eraser”)? But the one player Bull singles out, “number nine, their center”, is especially tall. Wouldn’t that make them four erasers and a pencil? Or one Number 2 pencil and four of those pencils you keep score with at mini golf? And there are only five of them? No subs? Doesn’t “number nine, their center” have a name? I know there are at least a couple of you who know basketball. Please enlighten me.

Awe-Sum'

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20101128&name=Funky_Winkerbean
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The She-Goats take practice in the dimly lit gym. Keisha, who of course must be double-covered, passes the ball to her bestie. Smilin’ Summer goes to the net a-a-a-a-n-n-n-nd…cut to the gobsmacked expressions on the faces of everyone in the room. Coach Bushka spits out his whistle. Summer, who less than two years ago was moaning that her game *@#s, has dunked the ball! And she’s only a sophomore junior white girl! Coach: how about splitting up your two superstars when you scrimmage? Better yet: just play Summer and Keisha against the other teams. With their mad skills, the two of them alone could easily make Our Lady of the Cedars look like the Washington Generals.

ADHD A.D.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20101107&name=Funky_Winkerbean
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Oh thank God we are out of that pizza parlor. Would that we could get away from The Grounded One as well. His star trip on hold for the moment, Les has time for a koffee klatch with his dysfunctionally-married co-workers Linda and Bull Bushka.  Les’ casual greeting to Bull is met with a disjointed string of coachspeak non-sequiturs; it’s like those creepy Bing “search overload” commercials. Having tasted the spotlight after the Scapegoats ended their 20-year football losing streak vs. Big Walnut Tech, Bull wants to be ready for the media swarm that’s sure to accompany the defending state champs of girls’ basketball. He really should just concentrate on sitting at the table without spilling coffee all over himself.