Tag: Summer

That's What Unfriends are For

So the gag gifts from yesterday were merely a setup for the “real” “present”, which Summer brandishes close enough to Darin’s face to cause him to flinch: “A birthday video that Lisa made for you.” And yes, it’s awkward hearing Summer reference her sainted mother by her first name, but it would be more awkward to have her say “a birthday video that my mom…um, our mom…my biological, uh, your biological mother…”, especially with the woman who actually raised Boy Lisa standing nearby.

All that aside: today’s punchline is actually cute and funny: Darin delivers a gentle zinger to his age-shifting adoptive parents, and Ann doesn’t miss a beat. Well played (for once), Mr. Batiuk.

Old

Growing older is a big deal in the Funkyverse. I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out Summer’s “gift” of “a senior’s discount card to gateway drugs“. I’m assuming that somewhere in Westview (or maybe Centerville) is a drugstore called Gateway Drugs. Because “gateway drugs” (no caps) usually refers to “the theory that the use of less deleterious drugs may lead to a future risk of using more dangerous hard drugs and/or crime”. Or to quote George Carlin: “Mother’s milk leads to heroin”. Note Summer’s dimples: another of TB’s devices, whenever a character thinks they’re being clever, the dimples appear.

In other aging news, after going from age 50 to 75 yesterday, the Fairgoods have snapped back to middle age. What the hell?

Delivering Darin

Happy birthday, dear Darin. In your honor, TB is showcasing his full array of fancy, non-hand drawn visual effects:

  • Panel 1: whenever an image is displayed on a screen or is behind glass, it must be faded and have highlights streaking across it (and what does today’s panel 1 have to do with the rest of the strip? ).
  • Panel 2: when lit candles are depicted, apply a glowing effect to suggest an arc welder’s blinding glare.
  • Panel 4: When depicting past events, if photo-album corners are not used, make the colors even more washed-out and muddy than usual, and apply halftone dots over all.
Bonus (hand-drawn) visual effect: check out how Darin’s adoptive dad Fred Fairgood ages about twenty years between panels 2 and 5!

Upside Yo' Head

I was a band geek in high school, not a jock, so I have to ask: do high school athletes wear uniforms at practice? “Uniform” in the adjective, meaning “identical or consistent; without variations in detail”. Because I’m looking at four teammates wearing four different outfits. From left to right: Earl Tatum sports a softball jersey; Ponytail Chick is in red; Summer opts for a plain white tee; and Kei$ha actually wears a basketball singlet.

I guess the kids still say “chill”, but what person under 50 70 uses “needle” as a verb? And what human being of any age would speak that line in panel 2?