TBTropes – Page 2 – Son of Stuck Funky

Blog Spox Reax: Batx Work Sux

A “Sticks Nix Hick Pix” reference? That’s the lowest form of humor…
Billy The Skink

Hey, I do my best, man. 😏

If my ongoing TBTropes series of posts was a college course, this week’s Crankshaft could be the final exam. Because this week, Tom Batiuk is putting on a master class of his worst qualities as a writer. I’ve already written a longer explanation for each of these, so I’ll be brief in recounting them.

Class, let’s start the review:

Retconning. Retroactive continuity is not unique to Tom Batiuk. Nor is it a bad thing in principle. But Batiuk abuses the privilege. He constantly reinvents past events in the Funkyverse to make them even darker, more favorable to his current preferred characters, or for unclear reasons.

Emily’s first visit to the Centerville Sentinel started on November 18, 2024, with the explanation that she was there to do a class assignment. The week ended with Emily saying a nice goodbye to Skip, and announcing she got an A+ in the class. Okay, fine. It was a week of dreadful jokes, but harmless enough to escape this blog’s notice. Until now.

No, Principal Nate, “Suggested” Means “Not Legally Enforceable”

After wasting a week on Dinkle and book signings, Week 2 of The Burnings begins with a huge exposition dump.

Before we get to it, a question: if Tom Batiuk hadn’t put out this puff piece in the Cleveland newspaper, would you even know last week was the beginning of The Burnings? Last week saw three authors, two of whom are nationally relevant, standing around smirking at each other during an unrelated book signing. Which is a very common story in the Funkyverse. The Act III links above show that Les alone did book signings in 2010, 2011, 2017, 2019, 2021, and now 2024. Most of them were multi-week arcs. Today’s strip feels like the beginning of the actual Burnings story.

My Dinner With Batton

My Dinner With Andre was a 1981 movie starring Wallace “Inconceivable!” Shawn, and director Andre Gregory. The entire movie is a restaurant-table conversation between the jaded, frustrated Shawn and the happier, new age-y Gregory, about their lives in the theater. Gregory recounts his very strange adventures, like experimental theater deep in the forests of Poland (when it was still a People’s Republic). Gregory argues that these experiences made him feel more human, more fulfilled, and better at his job. Shawn counters that most people don’t have the means to go lengthy journeys of self-discovery, and finds satisfaction in small things instead.

In Crankshaft this week, Tom Batiuk is having this conversation with himself. (And probably for the next two weeks as well.)

Back To The Future

For the first time in awhile, this week in Crankshaft wasn’t straight-up Funky Winkerbean Act III. It starred Ed Crankshaft and his family, in a staple Crankshaft story: Ed’s barbecues causing a major disaster. But it was a great example of many things that are wrong with Tom Batiuk’s storytelling in general, and invites commentary for that reason. It’s going to be a cavalcade of TBTropes, some old and some new.

The week started with Mindy informing Pete that he’s “not really dressed for a grill-out” at her house. The suggested gear is, of course, protective gear against fire and explosions. Yuk yuk.

How does Pete not already know of Ed’s grilling misadventures? He’s been dating Mindy since 2017, and the “engagement tiger” incident was in 2019. They’ve been on multiple trips together.

On top of that, Ed’s grill-outs have resulted in criminal charges of destroying the earth! You’d think Pete would be aware of that incident. If the earth was destroyed, where would Pete get his comic books?

A Very Funky Week

Welcome to the second installment of This Week In Act IV. This Crankshaft arc had no characters or overt ideas from act IV. But it was still a cavalcade of everything that sucked about latter-day Funky Winkerbean, and how that suckitude has infected Crankshaft.

Let’s start with Monday’s strip. The previous week was about Ed Crankshaft soliciting Montoni’s to sponsor his softball team. Ed told lame jokes for a week, then it ended with Mindy and Pete at the softball game, meeting the detestable one-armed news reporter Skip. I ended last week’s post by calling this “undue attention from the local media.”

I undersold it. Because now there’s a frickin’ TV reporter at the game! Are they broadcasting live? Is it viewable on my ESPN app, between kabaddi and the New Zealand pro basketball league? Can I bet on Summer Silver Senior Slowpitch Softball Society games on DraftKings? Did they really need two media outlets to report on a 93-year-old softball player turning 94? It’s like something out of The Onion. “Local Old Man Is Now Slightly Older.” How much media coverage does this small town need? Especially when 60% of residents are content creators themselves?