An Inconvenient Douche

Unlike Tom Batiuk, I strive to keep my personal opinions out of my “writing”. But since he insists on preaching to us (through Jim the Science Guy) about climate change (I don’t call it global warming), I’m going to vent a little “greenhouse gas” here myself: I’m one of “those people” who  do not believe that the planet is irreversibly heating up, even after the just-ended record-warm winter (which I, not being a winter sportsman, enjoyed the hell out of). There is at least as much credible scientific opinion to disprove climate change as there is to prove it.

That’s my opinion, and you, dear reader, are welcome to your own. On to today’s strip. We find Cory actually awake and paying attention in class (because even Cory is concerned about Global Warming). He shares that he “heard someone on the radio” (these kids and their radios these days, am I right?) call Global Warming “a hoax”. Cory gives a sly, demure tilt of his head, as if to say “Gee, Mr. Kablichnik, that feller on the radio can’t be right…can he? Say it ain’t so, Jim.” Jim wearily throws up his hands; he’s heard the deniers (such fools!), and sets Cory, and the rest of us, straight.

For your pleasure: previous strips dealing with the “fact” of Global Warming:

May 25, 2008: Same premise as today’s strip (and how long has Rana been in this class?) But I gotta give props to Jim for mentioning a classic Randy Newman song.

December 5, 2010: “Of course Global Warming can actually mean we get more snow. That doesn’t make sense to you?”

June 23, 2011: Principal Nate is on board with the whole global warming thing, to the point of inserting it into random conversations:

Whale Meet Again

Oh thank God, no basketball.

I strongly suspect that today’s strip was originally supposed to run last September. Mainly because Mr. Moore is assigning his language arts class their “first book” of the year…a week before the beginning of spring? Also because said book is Moby-Dick, which you’ll recall figured in Maddie’s plagiarism arc six months ago. I’ll let this go, though, knowing how much Batiuk hates it when his readers pay more attention to his strip than he does.

Old

Growing older is a big deal in the Funkyverse. I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out Summer’s “gift” of “a senior’s discount card to gateway drugs“. I’m assuming that somewhere in Westview (or maybe Centerville) is a drugstore called Gateway Drugs. Because “gateway drugs” (no caps) usually refers to “the theory that the use of less deleterious drugs may lead to a future risk of using more dangerous hard drugs and/or crime”. Or to quote George Carlin: “Mother’s milk leads to heroin”. Note Summer’s dimples: another of TB’s devices, whenever a character thinks they’re being clever, the dimples appear.

In other aging news, after going from age 50 to 75 yesterday, the Fairgoods have snapped back to middle age. What the hell?

What Are Friends For?

Professor Fate
July 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

You know, I have to think that if I had cancer and was undergoing Chemo (which is just god awful) the last thing I’d want to read was a book about SOMEONE DYING OF CANCER.

I’m getting this book for a friend of mine who has cancer.” What a pal, what a pal, what a pal. Good Lord! Meanwhile, that mysterious green shirt makes another appearance in panel 2.

Playin', Playin' in the Band

Usually the music notes in the air of the Band Room are drawn all distorted and jagged, to suggest bad music being played. But the well-formed notes we see today come from the smooth sounds of Westview’s Community Band, conducted not by a frazzled, angry Becky, but by a relaxed and genial Harry K. Dinkle. Harry likes conducting the adults so much better than working with those goddam kids. He even allows that this ensemble sounds “pretty good”, high praise from Der Dinkle. He rewards the band with one of his “classic lines“, punctuating it with a thrust of his stubbly chin and a face-splitting, closed-eye satisfied smirk. Buddy the dog responds with an agonized howl.

Anyway, nice to see that Wally is finally putting that trombone to good use.