First “Bullying Played for Laffs” strip of the new year! How miserable is life for Cody and Owen, within and without the walls of Westview High School? It’s so bad that the mere approach of three dudes in WHS varsity jackets instantly induces panic in the (Senior!) boys. In panel 2 it’s revealed that the three are not bully jocks but baritones, who, unlike Cody and Owen, are secure enough in their manliness to proudly display their affiliation to the WHS music program.
Tag: Westview High School
I’m All Ears
So, here’s Tom Batiuk’s actual “Black Friday” joke…if “joke” is the right word. Selling books instead of turkeys is hilarious? In both cases, the terrible odor from the unsold items would be intolerable as they fester.
Note that with a little change of tense (“didn’t have” for “don’t have”) he could have run this on Saturday and had something a little more traditionally holidelic on Thanksgiving, but when you’re giving Harry Dinkle a soapbox, well…priorities, baby, priorities. Thanksgiving Day comes and Thanksgiving Day goes, but Harry Dinkle is interminable.
Whenever Harry Dinkle appears, you can be sure the boredom will come thick and fast. He basically short-circuits his own content by being so utterly obnoxious that he’s his own heckler. If you ask him what time it is he’ll give you some insufferable response that boils down to “find a clock somewhere after I finish regaling you with irrelevance.” Actually, the only question I can imagine asking Harry Dinkle is, “Do you want me to punch you again?”
What’s really striking in today’s episode is Becky’s left ear. Look at that thing–has her face been torn open at the back? (We can always hope so!) I cannot imagine how, with her face positioned the way it is, that her left ear should be visible at all. Once again, I am guessing that Tom Batiuk had a bit of gold ink on the brush and didn’t want to waste it, and that meant drawing an ear to hold that earring.
In a strip drawn as badly and as lazily as this one, Tom Batiuk at least manages to draw his avatars–Les Moore, John Howard and of course Harry Dinkle–with a loving consistency. The other characters not so much, but this…this is kind of a landmark.
Bull’s Story
So, the dreaded Les at last makes his appearance just to rub Bull’s disappointments into his face. This is why this comic strip is nowhere near reality, because in reality, Les would have been murdered long ago…by the entire town. When the cops came, it would be like that scene in Spartacus. “I am Les Moore’s murderer.” “I am Les Moore’s murderer.” “I am Les Moore’s murderer.”
There should be an eighth panel in today’s strip:
It would have shown panel six’s wagging finger snapped off and jammed down Les’ throat. Bull would stand behind, arms folded. “Yeah, Les,” he’d say, smirking. “You know exactly how I feel. You were given massive amounts of money, took two years to do your job, were flown out first class to Hollywood, were wined and dined and fawned over. You whined and moaned the entire time until you managed to kill the production, and you got to keep the money, all because they wanted to make your sacrosanct story into one that people might actually be interested in seeing. I, however, did everything I was supposed to do, and got screwed over by Fate. So, yeah, you sure know exactly how I feel. Now you know how Frodo feels.”
It just seems pointless to remind Tom Batiuk, Author, that Les gleefully killed the production of “Lisa’s Story.” The job of Hollywood Screenwriter was his for the taking and he threw it away because it made him a little fish in a big pond, where he just wasn’t special anymore.
Mr. Batiuk, when you yourself can’t even remember the details of your own work, I feel absolutely no guilt in mocking it.
There’s just something evil about Les in today’s offering. Look at him happy and smirking in panels three and seven (I’m counting the masthead), looking so pleased with himself that he can dig into his old nemesis’ wounds and jerk a little pain out. The fact that he still lives makes this strip far more of a fantasy than Starbuck Jones could ever aspire to achieve.
Of all the characters in this strip, few inspire as much sheer hatred in me as Les Moore. There’s one other who comes close, and you’ll never guess what my Guest Host Superpowers are revealing to me even as we speak!
Bull Bull the Dancin’ Fool
Today’s strip
Gahhhh! Something has eaten away the flesh on Bull’s right ankle, leaving only exposed and picked-clean bone keeping his foot attached to his body. No wonder he’s hopping on his left foot.
Even more frightening than that, however, Les and Linda make an appearance.
What you mean “we” kemosabe?
While more or less the same conversation as yesterday’s strip (including the DUI AD’s awkward use of “we”), in today’s strip we learn two things.
1. Bull went to college (surprising)
and
2. Bull’s college friends hated him enough that he suspects they are pranking him (not surprising)
As a bonus, in panel 2 Bull does a Ziggy impression that rivals that of the blobfish.
Son of Stuck Funky 