Tag: Westview High School

The Picture of Futility

Rusty
September 16, 2014 at 11:19 pm
He’s not even trying to write a joke now. It’s just a declarative sentence.

Today’s strip is somewhere in between. In a sense, the team picture is “the ‘before’ picture” as it depicts the team before the season starts (though the ‘Goats have already played, and presumably lost, their first game). Does Coach summon them again at the end of the season for a (not optional!) “after” picture?

Random notes:

  • “OK men…let’s get lined up for the 2014 team picture.” For those still trying to unravel TB’s convoluted timeline, this places Funky Winkerbean solidly in the present. Therefore, over in Crankshaft, it’s 2004….even though three years ago, we saw Ed watching Cindy Summers reporting on the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.
  • Quite a few weird looking “extras” in this scene, but my favorite has to be Blond Guy with a Hitler Stache:

All I’ve Got is a Photograph

Charles
September 14, 2014 at 11:52 pm
So a struggling sports department in a school with a constantly shrinking budget somehow manages to find the money to equip its entire team with Riddell Revolution helmets. For a team that is a yearly laughingstock…And that’s probably not their most egregious waste of money, since they apparently hired a head coach who doesn’t actually coach…Just watch as Batiuk runs the “Westview cuts the school budget” storyline yet again…

Charles’ quote came to mind when I saw today’s strip. The Fighting Scapegoats are indeed a laughingstock (though we’re not laughing). Clearly neither the coach nor the players could care less about football, winning, or even showing up for the team picture. In interviews, Batiuk is fond of talking about how he still visits his former high school for inspiration. But the Midview Middies of Grafton, OH are off to a 3-0 start (and even allowing for Batiuk’s famous year-in-advance schedule, last year they were on their way to a 7-3 record). But even back when TB, and you, and I were in high school, I never heard of a sports team that would accept losing as the status quo. Perhaps the team exists solely to give Les, Cayla, Linda, and the rest of Westview someplace to go on Friday nights in autumn.

Band Busters

The hits keep on coming: yesterday Bull was suggesting his players might “die of embarrassment”; today he’s dissing the band, and this time, Bull isn’t even smiling. It’s unclear exactly what hazard the marching band presents to the football team, but at least in Becky they have a leader who shows some commitment and is slightly (just slightly) less condescending and dismissive.

Saturdrag

Link to today’s strip.

Saturday’s strip was not available for preview, but let’s face facts: we can say without question that it’s boring beyond description.  For that reason, I’ve invited someone else, boring beyond description, to write today’s post so I can start my drinking early.

Hello, everyone on the internet, I’m Les Moore.  I teach Language Arts at Westview High School…and I’m a bit of a writer!  I’m sure that’s why your friend Beach Cheese* asked me to write for you today…that, plus he said I was “just as boring” as the strip, by which he meant that, like a drill, I am able to penetrate many layers to get to a deeper meaning!

*(I think the name was Beach Cheese.  Is that right?  Does anyone know a Beach Cheese?  Well, you’re better with me, because I’m sure whatever he might have written would have been quite cheesy.  Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh my.  Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, I do have a gift, don’t I.)

Well, let’s start.  Okay, we have Bull and this other man, who is quite handsome, speaking to each other, and one of them made a joke!  Ha ha, that is a pleasantly diverting moment from the ongoing despair that envelopes us in a continuous haze of fear, regret and brown-tinged memories of desperation.

It reminds me of a funny story.  You see, our old principal, Fred Fairgood, had a stroke nearly two years ago.  When Funky told me about it, I smirked and said, “Well, we’re going to have to write Fred’s name in a serif font now,” and I then explained that a serif font is one that has decorative strokes.  Well, clearly Funky had never heard such a funny joke, because he just frowned at me for a long time trying to figure it out, even after I explained it to him.  Some people just don’t “get” the best humor!

Another funny story is about Wally.  See, he was a soldier somewhere outside Westview, and a few years ago, I saw him on the street and I said “Hey!” and I made my hands into gun-shapes and said, “Pew!  Pew!”   Well, he covered his head with his hands and dropped to the ground, because I think the secret code of military toughness means they’re not supposed to laugh at funny jokes–like those people who guard the Queen–and he was hiding his laughs so he wouldn’t get in trouble.  But don’t worry!  If I saw his sergeant, I would have said he laughed, but he laughed in a tough manner, so don’t put him in Army Jail too much!  He got a dog a year or so later, so obviously I was right.

Well, I’ve given you two funny stories, which is probably more than you get in a month, so I’ll just leave it at that!   I’ll be sure to tell that Beach Cheese person that you enjoyed them, so he’ll get me to do this again.  I have to get back to my wife, Lisa, who died of cancer, and that other woman who cleans and makes food.  What is her name again?  I should really know that.  I should get her a Christmas card and thank her this year.  Maybe, if I have time–lots of stuff to do for other people, like Lisa.

Oh, but I do want to leave you with this fun activity you might want to try:  collecting old comic books.  You’ll be surprised at how it makes you feel!

In closing, let me just quote Billy from Predator:  “We’re all gonna die.”  So long for now!