Westview High School – Page 62

…Durn Near KILLED ‘EM!

Again, it sure seems to me that someone who has come to “check out” Bull would be listening to Bull talk about his, um, er *cough* “successes” rather than go on and on and on and on about some play. It makes me think that this DUI guy stepped on a few too many toes, so they sent him to Westview to see what his future could look like if he doesn’t start shaping up.

Look at Dolt’s expression in panel two, and contrast it with his expression in panel two of Tuesday’s strip. The sunny helpful face has been replaced by one creased with worry. The penny is beginning to drop. You know, those guys who said, “Good luck, and don’t come back!” weren’t really smiling.

Maybe I can grab one of these tackling dummies and bring it back to DUI, and say, Guys, meet Bull Bushka! and everyone will laugh and I’ll be okay. He glances between the two. The tackling dummy certainly is smarter and has a better personality…

I have to say, for a strip that specializes in being unbelievably boring, Tom Batiuk has really outdone himself this week…and we’re not over yet, not for the week and I’m sure not for the arc. After all, nothing resembling a “point” has reared its ugly head. All of which I’m sure will lead to Bull being tempted to go to the big city, but deciding to stay in Westview because of a poorly-worded platitude he smirks out to someone. Les, probably.

Oh…I forgot today’s word-play. How could I have forgotten that? It’s…certainly there, isn’t it. It reminds me of a dumb joke whose punchline makes up today’s title. Other than that, it’s another Crankshaft reject.

PUNishment Park

Link to today’s strip.

According to panel two, it sure looks like Dolt McMoron has crapped his pants magnificently. I suspect he is either reacting badly to the horror he is witnessing on the field (what Bull calls “athletics”) or he’s making a sincere attempt to blend in on his Westview visit. I don’t know why he’s going on and on about elementary coaching…I thought he was the one interested in Bull’s abilities, but I guess no one in this strip really knows how to yield the floor once they get on a roll.

What I’m more concerned about is the pun used here. I’m not a user of puns by nature, but isn’t this cheating? I looked at that pun for a while and it didn’t click, because I was going, “Payton Mann? Payton Manners?” before I remembered that his actual name was Payton Manning.

So, punsters…can you do that? Base a pun on only half a name? I mean, it seems to me that it would be okay if Les was talking about German literature and he said, “There are a lot of Thomas Mannerisms,” or, conversely, if Dopey Pete said 80’s TV had a lot of “Michael Mannerisms.” Both of those name-puns look “okay” to me, as puns, because both of those use the full names. Terrible as they are, they sound “legit” (as much as any pun can).

But based on today’s terrible, terrible offering, it sure sounds like if I wanted to make a joke about sports on the Moon, and I said the number one event was “Neil Armwrestling,” that that’s just fine (as a pun, remember). Or say there’s a drawing of Funky tossing spices onto a pizza and saying “I call this my Barack Oregano.” Both of those sound like cheating to me.

So, I really feel there should be a penalty flag here. Of course, stepping back a bit from the pun edge, the content of this strip is so nothing that a penalty seems almost cruel, like getting a speeding ticket for going 31 in a 30 mile zone. (Or, perhaps better, going 29 in a 30 mile zone.)

In other words, another desperate attempt by yours truly to find something to say about this strip, four days into this dull arc, falls flat. Time to hand it over to the pros. Have at it, snarkers!

D.U.H.H.

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm back in the slammer. You might notice there’s actually a teeny, tiny bit of humor in today’s episode. (Oh, our visiting character isn’t named in the strip, so I’m going to call him Dolt McMoron just for reference.)

Well, Dolt’s school is called “Diversity University Ironton,” which has got to be a hard way to introduce yourself. But notice on his shirt! Here’s the teeny, tiny humor! Get ready…see, the initials of his awkward institution spell out “D.U.I.”! As in “Driving under the influence.” Which is, as well all know, Bull’s shtick–he’s always drinking, carousing, partying without bounds, even during school hours–all while driving. His antics disrupt Les’ class (remember those 85 pizzas? Ha!), and his flatulence has been known to clear out the faculty lounge for a day-and-a-half! Ha ha ha.

Wait a minute. Actually, come to think of it, that isn’t Bull’s shtick. Bull’s shtick is to yell at his players from the sidelines in a futile attempt to make them win a game. (Heck, even with that magic-arm guy from last year–Jakov or whatever his name was–the team only managed to lose slightly better.)

But apparently, Ironton wants people like Bull. The whole idea that Bull has no responsibility for his team’s losses is par for the course in the Funkyverse. It’s those damned kids. It’s always those damned kids.

(By the way, how hard could it be to come up with a better name if you want to use the DUI acronym? Dacron University of Indiana. That took three seconds.)

Black Dahlisa

Props to anyone who gets the obscure Hollywood reference in today’s strip! I will be out of town this evening but will leave this up as a placeholder for snarkers far funnier than I!

Back from my trip! Let’s see how Les’s arc played out with the Sunda– are you kidding me!? Cody and Owen?! What about the arc we just suffered through for the last 6 days!? There was no resolution at all! The Series Finale to Alf had better closure.

It’s What’s For Lunch

Link To Today’s Strip

Well, I figured last week’s light-hearted, rather positive view wouldn’t last. Still, it was fun while it lasted. It may never happen again, but the fact that it did means that it might.

Today, the joke has been done before and better in this same strip. I think it was done just a couple of months ago, though the “better” didn’t come into play then.

I’m not sure what else there is to say; the only personality these students have tends to be somewhat loathsome, so I can’t really sympathize with their plight. If there’s anyone in whose corner I find myself, it’s the lunch-lady, once again having to deal with these cement-heads.

I thought Glasses (I can’t remember who’s who) was supposed to be the smarter of the two, so I’m puzzled by his use of the word “landed.” Is there a food fight going on, with various flying objects zizzing around? Does he think erasers are self-propelled, or that they’re manned by a tiny crew of aliens? What the heck is a “cheese square” anyway–does the cafeteria just drop a brick of cheese onto a plate and say “There you go”? Actually, I imagine that’s exactly what they do in the cafeteria since they hate these kids. Everyone hates these kids.

Well, my time in the torture chamber is over and done, so please welcome David O as your new dungeon master, starting tomorrow!