Lawyers, Puns and Buddies

Riff Chick
August 2, 2011 at 4:23 pm

so now we can add “Attorney” to the title of Agent/Publicist/Formerly Homeless Woman Apple Annie?

Not so fast there, Riff Chick! TB reserves that honor for real-life New York lawyer Peter Shukat, whose clients include Yoko Ono and the estate of Miles Davis, and whose firm once fired off a very testy Cease and Desist order on behalf of a certain beloved cartoonist.

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0 responses to “Lawyers, Puns and Buddies

  1. John

    Ann: “So, um, you’re done asking questions?” *please say yes please say yes please say yes please say yes*

    Les: “I guess…”

    Ann: *GLEE*

    Les: “…but the STUFF, man…”

    Ann: *oh GAWD*

    Les: “It’s just full of all these big, confusing words! It’s forcing me to leave my ivory tower, lowering me down to the SWINE who inhabit this dreary world. Will my pearls of wisdom survive in such an environment? Comfort me, Ann.”

    Ann: “…*…Les, bite me.”

    Les: “Wha-WHAT?!?”

    Ann: “I mean, Les, you’re a bastion of purity and integrity in this sinful, ugly world.”

    Les: “Oh. Well, I guess my inner strength will help me to endure this trial.”

    Ann: “By the way, Peter Shukat is someone who exists!”

    Les: “Mmm. Funny how only some people outside of Westview have names.”

    Ann: “I know, right? Anywaygottogobigmeetingbye!” *CLICK*

    Les: *blink-blink* “I wasn’t done fussing. Not by a longshot. Oh, well. There’s always tomorrow.”

  2. ConfuzzledbyFunky

    Why do I feel the urge to go sit in a dar kroom and slowly rock myself while turning a lamp on and off while mumbling, “Sanctuary, sanctuary, sanctuary…”?

  3. bayoustu

    The way Less keeps looking at his phone this week reminds me of my young nephews- who don’t quite understand how the phone works- and that when they say: “Uncle Stu- we got a new puppy; see?” and hold the phone up to the dog, I can’t actually see him. I believe Less is staring into his phone in the hopes of seeing his long dead wife.

  4. sourbelly

    No, Apple Annie, it’s not called Show Buddies because that would make no GODDAMNED SENSE! Not even as a pun! “Business” and “Buddies” sound nothing like each other. GRRRRR!!!

    Mr. Hackett, you should take over pun duty from TomBat. “Lawyers, Puns, and Buddies” is pure gold!

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Blech. Batom clumsily name drops his lawyer (real subtle), then throws around some “show biz” lingo like a real “insider”. I’m sure he’s an old hand at that stuff, what with all that FW & Crankshaft merch the kids are sporting nowadays, not to mention the many films, TV shows, games and so on that the franchise has spawned through the years. Yes, creating a successful property is a terrible burden the non-artistic can never understand, we get the point. I do totally relate: trying to find something funny about this grindingly annoying comic strip is a burden sometimes too.

    “I guess…”, meaning Les STILL hasn’t decided what to do here. I guarantee this thing will drag on to the end of the year (Lisa’s annual holiday appearance). Then we’ll suddenly time-jump to Act IV featuring Les dodging the paparazzi and complaining about having to find room for all those annoying Oscars.

  6. TheDiva

    Les: Well, I guess I’ll let Hollywood pay me a bunch of money to option my book, since they insist upon it. But I don’t understand–why won’t they give me everything I want? Don’t they know who I am?

    Ann: Well, Les, that’s the thing…see, there’s this old joke in the film industry about a starlet who was so stupid, she slept with the writer…

    Les: *beat* I don’t get it.

    Ann: Well, it’s a reference to the so-called “casting couch” and the hierarchy of–

    Les: No, I don’t see how that’s a joke. Why shouldn’t the actress want to sleep with the gifted, brilliant, and magnanimous author? She sounds very smart to me!

    Ann: Les, I don’t think you quite understand your situation–

    Les: Oh, are you trying to give me fair warning? No worries–I’ve already made up my mind to let Natalie Portman know that although she’s a very charming and talented young lady, my heart will always belong to Lisa. Oh, and that colored woman who sits on my porch swing, what’s her name? Cathy? Something like that…

    Ann: *headdesk*

  7. The Law Firm representing Les:

    [img]http://www.americannostalgia.com/americannostalgia/shop/Images/Products/b1291.jpg[/img]

  8. Smirks 'R Us

    Don’t go dissing TB’s merch, Epicus. My Crankshaft “Exploding Grill” and Montoni’s “Home Pizza Maker” are 2 of my most prized possessions.

    Since I am convinced TB’s mission in life is to prove to us peons how wrong we are about his craft, it is clear he must read this site. The only way to make his “work” less enjoyable would be to slow it down to glacial speed. We are now on Mary Worth time, people. God help us all.

    And one last thing TB, name dropping your real life “celebrity” lawyer is just pathetic.

  9. @Sourbelly: Thank you!

    I had to research the pronunciation of Mr. Shukat’s name: it’s “shoo-kat”. I almost went with”Shukat Strut”. If it was “shuck-at” the title was going to be “You Shukat Life”.

  10. Sgt. Saunders

    I can see TB and Shukat having a giggle about his name appearing in one of TB’s ultra-lame FW episodes…. then…

    TB: How is shutting down that horrid little website is coming along?

    Shukat: Er, ah….you know….wellllll …ah …fine.

    TB: Egggcellent….

  11. Riff Chick

    ugh, that IS a terrible site. And I would know. it’s my living.

  12. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Les is okay with the basic deal, and apparently Batiuk & Shukat are okay with today’s poorly-constructed punchline.

  13. billytheskink

    Meanwhile, over in Westview’s public housing projects, Wally awakens, sensing someone stealing his schtick…

  14. davidorth

    Dear Mr. Batiuk:

    Please stop referencing me in your awful strip. Even lawyers deserve better than that.

    -Sincerely creeped out;
    Mr. Shukat.

  15. Professor Fate

    Reading these strips I get the sense that somewhere along the line Batiuk was burned and burned badly by someone in Show Business.
    Good.

  16. S.P. Charles

    I’d heard of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe, of course, but I’d never actually seen the studio’s promotional poster for it. Then I saw it twice in the same afternoon: in Merry Pookster’s comment, and here: http://crimejusticeandamerica.com/are-they-hiring-dewey-cheatem-and-howe-to-file-the-lawsuit-please-tell-me-theyre-hiring-dewey-cheatem-and-howe-to-file-the-lawsuit

    Life is funny that way sometimes, huh?

  17. davidorth

    Professor Fate, I can’t imagine what the 80s were like for Batiuk, watching Garfield’s creator just one state over having helicopters of cash delivered on his front lawn while every car in America was legally required to have a Garfield plush stuck to their car window. The talking leaves and rock of Funky Winkerbean just never got all that beloved.