Risky Bus-iness

As the Talking Exposition Bus splashes its way towards Colum, Fishstick Annie (still alive! Thank God) tells Bull he “took quite a risk” in adding her to his staff. Staff? There were no assistant coaches; the entire staff consisted of Bull. Was the “risk” that he might catch flak for doubling his “staff” in this famously cash-strapped sports program? The only risk that I see here is that Keisha and Summer might attempt another aerial butt-bump with Ann in the middle and shatter her pelvis.


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  1. John

    Ann: “Ah, yes, dinner last night. I don’t know why you insist on having dinner with that woman. I’ll cook for you, tubbykins.”

    Bull: “Um, “that woman” is my wife. Of course I eat with her! Just like you eat with your husband, Fred!”

    Ann: “….I -told- you, Bull, there is no Fred! He’s a hoax, a dream, an imaginary story!”

    Bull: “…aren’t all stories imaginary?”

    Ann: “Not the story of the bond between us, tubbykins. I notice you made sure to sit by me.”

    Bull: “The bus driver forced me too. He’s terrified that we’ll hit a bump in the road and you’ll shatter something. At least this way you have a safety cushion!”

    Ann: “Mmmm….and such a HANDSOME safety cushion…”

    Bull: “….DRIVER, can you GO FASTER?!?”

  2. sourbelly

    “To risk is to win.” Not true. The whole idea of a risk is that it might pay off or it might not. I don’t think even fortune cookie writers (what a sweet gig that would be) could come up with something that stupid.

    Looks like our frizzle has turned into a deadly downpour. Maybe TB is portending the doom to come to this team. Or maybe he’s just messing with our well-earned expectations of utter disaster. Or maybe this is just more crappy filler.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    “Risky Bus-iness”…lol. Seriously, what risk did he take when he added her to his “staff”? He was running the Annie Goats into oblivion with his idiocy, what did he have to lose?

    “Is that from a..book you’re reading?”…she’s been hanging around Bull for the entire basketball season and she’s seriously asking that question?

    Chekhov’s gun is loaded, but we’re killing time already with dumb jokes. Which means the BIG GAME arc is going to be a long one, win or lose. A bus crash would be awesome (especially if it flattens the Les-mobile) but with Summer onboard, highly unlikely.

  4. TheDiva

    Ann is back to being 80 again. She’ll have to drain the life essence of another Nannygoat second stringer if she wants to avoid collapsing in a pile of dust before the championship ends.

  5. Jeffcoat Wayne

    A bold move by the colorist today would have been to turn those puddle splashes into flames, which is exactly what this arc needs. And wait just a minute… since when did Andy Warhol rise from the dead and join Bull’s girl’s basketball staff?

  6. billytheskink

    A would have to agree that adding Andy Warhol to any basketball coaching staff would qualify as a risk.

  7. professor fate

    ah the pleasure of anticipiation of the expected bus crash a plot tiwst that nobody will have seen coming.
    and of course the old lady buys the farm.

  8. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$

    Anyone else here think that Ann Fairgood doesn’t exist at all and is just a figment of Bull’s imagination. Maybe Ann is like Bagger Vance (with racist overtones replaced by sexist overtones)

    …. Or maybe this state championship is a figment of Bull’s imagination and he’s really still sitting on the bench having suffered a stroke during another lost game. Kind of like the ending of Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil”.

    Wow, the Oscars have made me quite the film buff today!!!

  9. Charles

    If the bus crashes, he could do a version of The Sweet Hereafter, he’s already made plenty of implications that Les has an unhealthy physical fixation on his daughter (although none so recently), so when she’s paralyzed and lost her ability to play basketball, it’s all right there.

    Btw, how is it that Annie supplied just a couple basic plays and they go from a team so bad that it couldn’t win a game to one on the cusp of a championship? It doesn’t speak well for Bull’s abilities, that’s for sure.

  10. John

    “Btw, how is it that Annie supplied just a couple basic plays and they go from a team so bad that it couldn’t win a game to one on the cusp of a championship?”

    Especially since Tom himself retconned it so that Summer’s team previously came very close to total victory for some years without her?

  11. Flummoxicated

    Thank goodness Bull took the risk in “hiring” Annie, since he apparently suffered a head injury at some point and forgot whatever he did to get the Lady Scapegoats into the playdowns last year.

    You guys! I was in Staples yesterday (had to send a fax) and the woman in line in front of me had brought a copy of last week’s “WE’RE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!” strip in to be laminated! She paid $4.00 to immortalize that strip. The only thing I can figure is she wanted to preserve that rare instance where something good is happening in FW, though of course it is tempered with Bull enduring the pain of those bony hips slamming into him. When I saw this I thought, “the folks at Son of Stuck Funky are never gonna believe this!”

  12. Sgt. Saunders

    What this strip needs is a Marty Moon.

  13. Beanie Wanker

    Where is that bus driving? The Ahia River?? Hydroplaning anyone? Yes, please.

    With BatYuck, there are only two choices here with all this weather worry and all this bus action – Filler, filler, filler… Or some really jive bus melodrama.

  14. Helskor

    Montoni’s serves fortune cookies now? They probably all contain aphorisms by E. M. Cioran, Westview’s favorite philosopher.

  15. Smirks 'R Us

    Flummoxicated, that is truly unbelievable, and hilarious! Did you make small talk with her, something like “nice to meet you Mrs. Batiuk”.

    Btw, now would actually be an appropriate time for Bull to yell “stay in your lane!”

  16. Merry Pookster

    “We’re on our way to the State Finals”
    What? I thought it was the State Championship?
    Finals would indicate that they have an elimination round or two to play in before the final (& therefore Championship) game.
    Geeze how long is this road trip going to take?

    I spent a week in Columbus Ohio one day.

  17. billytheskink

    Thinking about it, though, was it really much of a risk since the school budget cuts forced the cafeteria to stop serving fishsticks?

  18. Jimmy

    Please crash!
    I think I see the issue with Westview’s budget: judging by the lettering on the side of the bus, it’s apparently not part of a larger school district and operates a rather expensive bus system.

  19. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Flummoxicated: Did the guy at the counter snicker, or was he just happy to get the $4.00 no matter the circumstances?

  20. J.R. Clark

    I’ve got ten bucks on Coach Gil Thorp and Milford to beat Bull/Annie and Westview in the WGAS championship game…any takers?

  21. J.R. Clark

    Hey, apropos of nothing, but it appears Batshit has a fetish for one-armed bandits with pinned-up sleeves…note this recent Crankshaft

  22. Flummoxicated

    Jeffcoat: The Staples worker didn’t seem to look at the comic – she did use a full 8″x10″ piece of laminate though, which seemed a little excessive, but I guess the customer got her money’s worth.

    Smirks ‘R Us: I wanted to strike up a conversation – I did kind of wonder if it was a relative of TomBat’s since I’m under an hour away from Bat Country.

    J.R. Clark: I think TomBat might have an amputation fetish. I get wanting to portray a diverse section of people, but there are other ways, like a wheelchair, cane…

  23. Jason

    I think he’s saving the bus crash for the return trip, so a bent and broken championship trophy can be placed in an otherwise empty trophy case with a black ribbon wrapped around it. Of course, the crash will be the last strip before Sunday, so we can get a huge panel of the trophy to human misery on display with lots of bowed heads around it. We’ll have to wait a few days to find out who, if anyone, survived.

  24. Beanie Wanker

    I think the real jiveness will kick in when the Lady Female Non-Male Distaff Hey-We-Have-Vaginas,-Honest Scapegoats win the title game IN SPITE OF something bad happening on the way up. Because you KNOW they’re going to win. And you KNOW something’s gonna happen with that bus. With Bat Hack it’s all so predictable, but he’ll still try to wring all the contrived, cliche melodrama out of the upcoming sequence of events.

    Goatee Boy, nose pressed up against the TV: “Fifty percent chance of frizzle, one hundred percent chance of nauseating jiveness.”

  25. Epicus Doomus

    Flummoxicated: will Staples make custom toilet tissue? I’d LOVE a roll with Les sitting on that park bench.