Yadda Yadda Yadda

In the Funkiverse, proper etiquette dictates that one prefaces his or her text messages with a proper salutation, just like a letter; hence, “Dear Cody”.

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0 responses to “Yadda Yadda Yadda

  1. Epicus Doomus

    What the hell happened to Cody’s head in panel one? It’s either a beehive or advanced encephalitis, take your pick. Then, for some reason, Harry Potter takes Cody’s place in panel three. Some positively Lynchian work by the Master. Totally surreal.

    Today the “plot” appears to…uh, “thicken”, I guess. There’s no way it’s Summer and we know the Prompocalypse starts next week, so an “educated” guess says an anon-o-girl (or possibly boy) has a crush on Cody…maybe. This gets more implausible by the panel. Plus I’m running out of things to snark on about these two nuisances, so hopefully we get a weak punch line Saturday then this thing gets buried for good.

  2. Well, Summer was raised by the most insufferable and anal English teacher ever to walk the halls of academia; it only makes sense that her texting would be stiff and formal in the extreme.

  3. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Ah, so we went through a week of bullshit just so we could get to this point of of heightened titillation at the prospect of Summer returning Cody’s anon-o-text that didn’t come from Owen. Only problem is, we already know Summer and Cody aren’t the same-sex couple going to the prom next week. Anyway… to Summer or whoever is sending this anon-o-text, we all just spent three weeks reading a Cody-centered storyline: Trust us, you do NOT want to get to know Cody better.

  4. Chyron HR

    On Saturday it is revealed that the texts are coming from orbit.

    On Sunday the boys discover that an ancient alien satellite is beaming information directly to Cody’s phone.

    On Monday a completely new storyline starts because, hey, this is Funky Winkerbean.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Chyron HR: Act IV: “Everyone Dies”.

  6. billytheskink

    I, for one, am disappointed that Cody didn’t finish reading the spambot’s message.

  7. So when does Summer start asking for money to help her father the Nigerian prince?

  8. sourbelly

    I’m hoping it’s Wedgeman, setting up a well-deserved beatdown date with Cody.

  9. Beanie Wanker

    Small spoiler — The anonotexts are NOT coming from Summer.


    Which for the fiftieth time raises the ever-unanswered question: HOW THE HELL DOES EVERYBODY KNOW EVERYBODY ELSE’S CELL PHONE NUMBER?

    And do high school kids make an ongoing game of using anonymous text services to confuse each other? My high schoolers have never mentioned this, ever. But Hell, even if they did, they’d have to know their target’s number. Is any of this supposed to make sense?

    By the way, I’ve stopped hoping for Owen to take off that retarded, disgusting chullo. I’m now hoping Owen dies some horrible but maudlin death, but his chullo still continues to be a character in the strip and deliver his lines.

  10. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Ah, isn’t that sweet? Cody’s about to have a romance with an exiled Nigerian princess!

  11. O.B. Dan

    The anon-o-text isn’t from Sum’ Mo’? What a surprise…

    Even if the sender is actually a girl – as unlikely as that seems – this is going to get Cody a royal humiliation, the kind that makes you want to quit school and die.

    Frankly, at this point I’m looking forward to it, but, there is one secret being slowly revealed here:

    There is a next generation of Funkytowners emerging from support character status, ready to prolong this strip’s agony – wait, check that…should be, prolong our agony. Sorry…

  12. John

    Cody: “Oh gawd…the texts…they’re coming from INSIDE THE SCHOOL.”

    0/` Duh-duh-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! o/`

    Owen: “I don’t get it.”

    Cody: “Philistine.”

  13. Helskor

    Yet another article about Mr. Hey Look At Me Everybody’s “daring” story arc. I mentioned SoSF in the comments section.

  14. TFHackett

    Helskor, thanks for the link and the plug! I saw a Tweet from the author of this piece as he was preparing to interview Batiuk and told him to ask TB about SoSF; don’t know if he obliged.

    During the past 25 years, Batiuk has dealt with suicide, teen pregnancy, alcoholism and domestic violence.And, in 2008, the Medina, Ohio, native was named a Pulitzer Prize finalist for “Lisa’s Story,” a series about the death of a major character of breast cancer.

    I swear, TB’s contract must have a rider stating that he will only grant an interview if the writer includes that paragraph in the story.

    Batiuk often finds inspiration on return visits at least once a month to his old high school (Grafton Midview), where he attends classes and observes students. “I just sit and let things go by,” the 65-year-old said. “It’s a great experience. It keeps me grounded and keeps me real.”


    The series begins with two boys buying tickets to the prom…[a]n objecting parent in the strip…organizes a protest.

    Guess who…

  15. John

    Grafton Midview Student A: “Oh, man! Don’t look now, peeps. That creepy old guy in the Batman shirt is back!”

    Student B: “He freaks me out.”

    Student C: “Yeah, for some reason I always begin talking like a robot when he stares at me.”

    Student A: “The way he rolls his eyes and scowls whenever we use our tech stuff…maybe that’ll drive him off. Start texting!”

    Student B: “That did it. He’s huffing and growling.”

    Student C: “Oh, good. He’s wandering off to that second-hand bookstore down the street.”

    Student A; “Man. The owner’s begun to complain. Apparently he never actually BUYS anything. Just sighs, hangs out, and asks him if he likes old comic books.”

    Student B: “Probably a pervert.”

    Student C: “Probably.”

  16. Jason

    Please, God. MAKE IT STOP!

  17. Maybe if Batiuk viewed teenagers as people rather than some exotic species that needs to be studied in a Jane Goodall-like manner, he’d be able to write them better.

  18. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Helskor: “…with friends like Funky Winkerbean, gay teenagers don’t need enemies. ”


  19. bad wolf

    Batiuk: So, how do you peeps chill? Or “chillax”?

    Student A: Um, we (stifles giggle) wear… chullos.

    Batiuk: All the time?

    Student B: You bet! And we, um, send each other… anonymous texts…

    Batiuk: (furiously scribbling notes) Right, right…. anonymous testes…

    Student A: And, um… download papers from the world wide web. Which is what we always call it.

  20. professor fate

    read a bit of the interview with our boy Tom – what made me stop was the phrase “the four week storyline”.
    Kill me now. Please. I don’t think I can take four weeks of Noble Les being the noble one protecting the gay children despite the objections of the bigoted lumpen common clay who refuse to understand gay children, Les’s noblity and who like comic strips that are funny.

  21. Jimmy

    Some good snark in here today. Nothing says “grounded” like trotting out a storyline that has been handled before in the comics pages.

    I don’t think I can stomach four weeks of this, where Bathack turns the Westboro Baptist Church into some kind of mainstream everyman intolerant parent. Just substitute “hippies” for “gay couple” and I bet you get a better sense of where TomBat is living mentally.

  22. How far ahead does the “peeking” stream go? Because I think it would be best to collect all 20 strips on one page, suffer it all in a few minutes, and then breathe easy for a month.

  23. TFHackett

    Lie ripping off a Band-Aid, right, WH?

    I rarely address peeking ahead, but I can’t stop y’all either. I can only politely ask snarkers not to post spoilers on this blog. Endings have to be earned! I only read ahead so I can prepare my posts ahead of time. That said: each batch of Sunday-to-Saturday FW’s is posted sometime the previous Thursday. Figure out for yourselves what to do with that info if you are so inclined.

  24. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I always peek ahead on Thursday mornings right after I get out of bed. Nothing like getting the worst moment of the day over with and immensely enjoying everything else that follows.

  25. Flummoxicated

    Oh. those poor Grafton Midview students, having TomBat spy on them like a creeper. I wonder if soon he will insist on painting a mural for them too!

  26. Jimmy

    I learned my lesson about looking ahead when I stumbled upon Les and Cayla consummating their relationship.

    You’re welcome.

  27. “I’m excited,” said Amy Eldridge, executive director of Kaleidoscope Youth Center near Ohio State University.“I think this will really humanize the issue. People relate to characters in comic strips, and it could do a lot to broaden awareness.”

    “Tom’s work is so reflective of today’s teenagers,” she (Stephanie Laffin) said. “He doesn’t sensationalize it; he makes it a universal issue. We always talk about the importance of an accurate representation of today’s young people, and this is that.

    I really don’t think either one have read this strip at all. If they had they would be running for the hills.

    By the way someone who posted a comment on the story mentions this blog.

  28. Epicus Doomus

    I rarely “peek ahead” anymore, sometimes the Sunday strips but I like my nausea to be a surprise. Besides, if you’ve read this thing for long enough you can pretty much predict what’s going to happen way in advance anyway. For example: there’s a prom, a gay couple wants to go, one of the “townies” gets all butt-hurt, Les & Summer have touching conversation re: tolerance, Summer saves day, the end.

  29. davidorth

    I’m just waiting for the “outraged” character to start well, outraging. This is a comic that self-referenced itself and clearly showed disdain for its readers by having the Westview put on a cancer play and having parents complain about it.

  30. Beanie Wanker

    BatPuke observing teens to figure out how they act and talk? Heeyeah, righttt. On what planet?

    “I just sit and let things go by,” the 65-year-old said. “It’s a great experience. It keeps me grounded and keeps me real.”

    Aw, gimmeafugginbreak, Tommeh. Nobody believes you spy on teenagers to “learn their ways.” And what school administrator would let someone as creepy and weird as you in the building?

    The next thing Bat Hack writes that anyone would consider “real” will be the first. I’d actually have more respect for him if he came out and said to Hell with what kids REALLY do and say — This is called “writing,” and if you can’t deal with it, you can go suck a rock. But no, he tries to say he’s keepin’ it real because he’s BEEN in the trenches with those scruffy chinned, chullo wearing, girls basketball obsessed, internet term paper stealing, solo car dating high school students.



    If he DID spend time inside a school, it was to carefully observe brick formations.

  31. Sgt. Saunders

    He probably sits at the school all day, dozing. In and out of consciousness, he hears things, foragments really, bits of conversation. At 4 someone wakes him up and send him home. He then sits down, still in a daze, and jots down, from ragged memory, what he has heard the young people say throughout the day. He then draws and scribbles whatever nonsense he can decipher to cobble together the next FW Episode. What he dreams is 1/4 inch from reality is really about a snark away from the Batiuktionary.
    That said, though, I am beginning to think that the term “solo car date” is not what we think it is. (With this godawful so-called “plot” going on, I have some free time to think as I look at these chullo-based schmuckforms in action). My theory is that a solo car date is just exactly what it implies. Les, by himself in the car in the garage, wracked with a heady mix of guilt and lust, listening to “Chevy Van”, weeping, and pleasuring himself silly.
    No, you can’t unread it.

  32. Beanie Wanker

    Actually, Sarge, that’s exactly what I imagine BatYuck doing. At least Stud Monkey Les has been given Racially Confused Cayla to receive his dorkgasm.