Befuddled, Fatuous Fools

Owen sure loves to talk about “fantasy”. This time, though, he’s not referring to his own overheated imagination: Amazing Fantasy #15 is the 1962 comic book that introduced the Amazing Spider-Man, who I hear has a new movie coming out.

So Blondie in the background there, I’m guessing that’s “the world’s perfect genome” Mallory Brooks, Cody’s “imaginary marriage partner” from Ms. Bushka’s class last spring. She despised Cody so much that she dropped the class just to get away from him; a year later she thinks he’s “really special”. Is it the arrival of spring causing all these Westview teens to fall inexplicably in love with each other, or is someone pumping Ecstacy into the water supply?

Proving once again that SoSF is your #1 source on the web for all things Batiuk: this breathless local news piece on the artist at work:

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0 responses to “Befuddled, Fatuous Fools

  1. Flummoxicated

    The look of chagrin on maybe-Mallory’s face is because she just realized she “restricted text messaged” a dude who used the phrase” BFF.” Yeah, I’d be embarrassed too. It’s okay, honey, you’re young and no one knows how close you came to going out with a complete dorkwad.

  2. billytheskink

    Blondie MacWallflower may not know it, but not getting to know Cody the putz any better is probably the best thing that has ever happened to her (or any other character in this strip, really).

    It’s not often a FW strip elicits a feeling of relief.

  3. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Wait, wait, wait, wait… Cody trusts that this anonymous reply is not from Owen, and yet he’s not the least bit curious who his mysterious secret admirer might be? Are you shitting me? I don’t know who the distraught Anon-o-Blonde back there is, and she does look out of Cody’s league, but anyone who would attempt to court a gal anonymously through a cellphone should naturally be curious to see who might be on the other end of the line. The best I can offer this nerd is:

  4. Flummoxicated

    Slow news day, huh Channel 5? I made it to 1:05, the reporter’s over-the-top schmarm + TomBat started talking, ugh.

  5. Batiuk tries to capture an expression of wistful sadness in panel three, but instead it comes off as surprised relief. Blondie just became aware of the bullet she narrowly dodged.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    So, the three-week arc about Summer that pretended to be about something else ends with a dull thud as Cody inexplicably deletes another one of these annoying newfangled anon-o-texts all the kids are talking about these days which happened to be a real overture from a real girl, who looks on in bewilderment, shame and horror as the object of her affection walks away with that weird scuzzy kid with the smelly hat. And they talked about comic books. Oh, the hilarity! All that’s missing is some pizza.

    OK, Prom-eggedon is nearly upon us, snarkers, so remember to get plenty of sleep, stay hydrated and smoke ’em if ya got ’em because most likely after some random piece of shit tomorrow, it’s “major prestige arc” time. It’s gonna be one hell of a toboggan ride, I’ll tell you what. If Summer isn’t the one who stands up to the intolerant bully and/or bullies and makes everyone see the folly of their ways, I will be stunned. I just can’t see it being anyone else, not the way things have been playing out so far this year. But with Batom Inc., who the hell knows? My very bold prediction that I all but guarantee: lots and lots of humongous word balloons.

    The latest Vegas over/under for the number of times “Pulitzer” and “cancer” are mentioned in any forthcoming news blurbs regarding FW, TB and the “gay prom” arc: 21.5 and rising fast. Can’t go high enough for me to bet the under.

  7. John

    Cody: “Owen, do you ever think that we rely on our comics fandom to a disturbing degree?”

    Owen: ‘What do you mean?”

    Cody: “Well, think about it. Most of the guys who go to the creepy, fat old skunk guy’s shop are in their fifties and sixties…and they read comics about characters created over seven decades ago! I dunno, it seems almost as if we’re only into them because we want…what, precisely? To impress a bunch of bitter old men? To line the pockets of the corrupt media conglomerates who own these characters? They don’t even look at them as good stories! They look at them as trademarks, as IP resources for movies and television shows! Movies and shows devoted to recycling stories that were written several decades before we were even born!”

    Owen: “…*…b-but, reading Spidey makes me an X-treme RebelZ! That…*…come to think of it, it was that creepy, bitter, bloated old guy who told me so!”

    Cody: “Just like the only reason Spider-Man comics are even published anymore are as loss leaders to promote the guy between movies.”

    Owen: “So all this time, our fandom to fantasy has been a waste?!?”

    Cody: “Nah. I just think we should find our own dream, instead of worshiping the dreams a bunch of old men want us to.”

    Owen: “Say, was that blond piece who kept breathing down our necks texting someone?”

    Cody: “As we are now freed of our slavery, let’s go ask her!”

  8. sourbelly

    That video! Wow! Leon Bibb’s smarmy/vacuous delivery reminds me so much of Parks & Recreation’s Perd Hapley. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that whole video was a spoof of Northern Ohio’s dippy love affair with TB.

    As for today’s strip, it doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to figure out what’s going on: A 60-year-old nerd’s wish fulfillment. “Sure, it seemed like all the girls in high school ignored me, but I’m sure at least one hot girl had a huge crush on me.” No. If it seemed like all the high school girls ignored you, that’s because all the high school girls ignored you. Move on.

  9. David O

    Get a brain, Moran! 🙂

  10. flappy

    and thats news in ohiay,what a piece a crap newsguy &batshit

  11. Charles

    Man, I wonder if Batiuk intended to make anon-o-girl so much better looking than Summer. It amuses me just thinking about it.

    Too bad for Cody, too. If I were a teenager in the Funkyverse (and God help me if I were) I’d totally tap her anytime I had a moment to spare. Gotta get my joy somehow and somewhere, right?

  12. Charles

    And I thought Amazing Fantasy Fifteen wasn’t the fifteenth volume of Amazing Fantasy, but rather a group of fifteen B-squad superheroes that had names out of MST3k’s City Limits.

    Always Smells Like Maple Man!
    It’s Deep Man, Real Deep Man!
    Sergeant Spike and Leather Woman!
    Easy does it with Twelve Step Man!
    Porter Wagoner “Don’t you mean *Super* Porter Wagoner?” “Noooooo!”
    Lumberman “He controls the forces of lumber! He routes lumber supplies to different parts of the country with his side-kick Woody!” He defends rain forests, yet even HE finds Sting annoying!
    Jazz Trio Man “Able to trade fours with himself!”
    Manman “Bestowed with all the powers of a man, but he’s a…man.”
    The Punisher “Wait! Isn’t there a punisher already?” “Well, he’s a different kind of punisher. He just sends people to their rooms.”
    Professor Hitler and his Invisible Knee Machine!
    Super Harry Connick’s Girlfriend!
    Johnny Action Finger!
    Johnny Kingsford – edges light evenly!
    Dr. Doorknob and his Incredible Electro Magnetic Thing!
    The Clam!

  13. O.B. Dan

    That a super-nerd like Cody doesn’t devote as much time as possible to finding the anon-o-crush is beyond all believability. I mean, on his current path, he and his friend Goofyhat may tie Les for least times laid before graduation, and his desperation doesn’t go into overdrive?

    I don’t think so. And that girl in the background, she looks like the kind of girl Cody could never imagine being with – one that is not embarrassingly homely.

    Get real, Batiuk.

  14. Karmyn

    So tell me again why the gay couple at the Prom isn’t Cody and Owen?
    Oh right, because that would make sense. We can’t possibly have that.

  15. Helskor

    It would have been a lot more poignant and true to life if Cody’s anonymous crush had been his female equivalent, a chubby geekette in a black comic book t-shirt and glasses, instead of one of Batiuk/Ayer’s standard issue pointy-nosed blondes. But who am I to question the Master? I’m sure he sees perky blondes chasing after smelly nerds with no social skills in his fantasies in the hallways of Grafton Midview all the time.

  16. Beanie Wanker

    And Anonoblonde has Les Junior’s cell phone number, um, how? Aaaand if she wanted to get to know him better, what good would it do to be anonymous? Kudos to BatDork for making no sense at all on MULTIPLE levels.

  17. Merry Pookster

    Whatta self-absorbed megalomaniac

  18. jp

    I hadn’t seen Battyboy before checking out those articles, so I did not know that–oh ye gods–he sports the Les goatee. So Les really is his self-portrait, avatar, alter-ego, whatever.

    I think I will go throw up now.

  19. David O

    If I hear how Backache isn’t afraid to shy away from controversy one more time I’m gonna hurl. All indications are that he’s going to pull two random cardboard cutouts from the pool of anonymous students and slap a “GAY” sticker on them.

    The sitcom Roseanne did this SO much better in the early 90s by giving us a few seasons to get to know her boss before he came out as gay. That *was* controversial and somewhat shocking because we thought we knew this person. Also, because it was the 90s, and people other than the Westboro Baptist Church freaked out `cause of gays. Now they’re in car commercials, hosting TV shows, ect.

    This whole storyline, like the “bullying is wrong” bit two weeks ago, came out about 15 years too late.

  20. Charles

    BTW, I seriously doubt that’s Mallory. The hair’s all wrong, and there was never a moment when she appeared that she wasn’t a bitch. She’ll have to go through a humbling before she hooks up with Les Jr, if indeed that’s her fate.

    And if there was just one comic strip artist like Batiuk or Greg Evans who showed a slice of reality and had, say, Cody here, reject a girl because she’s fat/not attractive enough/pimply/awkwardly dressed/poor/got bad hair/wearing glasses/flat-chested/not popular/not cool/a sophomore, I’d have tremendous respect for him. It’s such low-hanging fruit and no one ever seems to want to grab it.

    Yes, I know it’s because it’s more than likely that these comic strip artists would feel the same way if they were in “Cody’s” shoes and they don’t see anything wrong with that.

  21. Beanie Wanker

    I watched that video of the TV news segment on BatYecch. It was a constant battle between Tommeh and the interviewer to see who could come off more creepy.

    Listening to Batty’s voice… watching his gestures… Looks like he may have “a little sugar in the tank.” You know — “just a hint… of mint!” Could the upcoming four-week fiasco be autobiographical??

  22. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    Raise both your hands, if you think “ordinary unknown blond girl” here will be the catalyst of “Cody and Owen are the gay couple” misunderstanding.

  23. bad wolf

    It is interesting to see some of Batiuk’s (guess i was wrong in how to pronounce that) work technique but i couldn’t make heads or tails out of the pages he was working on–some Les and Cayla on the computer Sunday strip, but nothing looked like Kilamanjaro or prom-related. And a bunch of old strips including some ‘Lisa has cancer’ and last Sunday’s. Anyone else see something promising?