Water You'll Have

Epicus Doomus
December 28, 2012 at 8:37 pm
…Rule #2: DO NOT try to make sense of the timeline…it is a fool’s errand.

Not so much trying to make sense as just pointing out how wack this “25th soberversary” is. Funky’s battle with the bottle was depicted in Act II sometime during 2006 (and was published in book form in summer of 2007). If you figure in the 10-year time jump, and the five years and two months that have elapsed since then…oh, screw it. Why do we care if the author doesn’t? Careless!

Let’s ponder instead why John and Crazy Harry are entering Montoni’s through the back door. Is the “Comic Book Convention” we saw them at yesterday taking place in Montoni’s back room? Holly and Funky toast his sobriety with a couple glasses of “City of Westview” because Funky couldn’t find anything cheaper. Crazy Harry seizes the opportunity to appear magnanimous, by offering to pick up the tab on just about the only thing he can afford on what John’s paying him.



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27 responses to “Water You'll Have

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I told ya. The “timeline” has become so convoluted and confusing that you must do what the author does…ignore it completely. Twenty-five years…LOL, he’s just making things up out of thin air now.

    Hopefully Harry and John remember that their stuff is back at the comic-con, apparently unattended. Good thing Harry’s not expecting any money out of this gig, that’s all I’m saying.

  2. So we have bad wordplay, cheap bastards, and smirks abundant–throw in random tragedy and it’s the quintessential Funky Winkerbean strip.

  3. “Sure, I’m buying. Make that two.” Water is about the only thing Harry can afford on what he makes from Komix Korner.

  4. sourbelly

    At first I thought, “Wait, is Crazy a fellow recovering drunk?” Then I realized that, no, it’s just another…whatever.

  5. Heck, at first I thought that was some sorts of Yoda reference. Sounds like something Yoda would say.

  6. BeckoningChasm

    I’ve found that if you imagine everyone speaking with low, slurred, distorted voices, with a background of slow, atonal, barely audible jazz, and with several horribly deformed demonic creatures just out of frame, it makes reading Funky Winkerbean much more entertaining.

  7. flappy

    so are dead skunk head & krazy coming out soon ? the prom hand looks alot like dead s head,sure he was there trolling- chaperoning

  8. flappy

    that side smirk is frozen on Funkys face ,cool TB

  9. If so, their wives will probably be relieved.

  10. Helskor

    More like a smirkaversary.

    Look, the current chronology of the strip isn’t so hard to figure out. Since it’s the year 2013 in the strip and Harry celebrated his 53rd birthday last winter, he and the other characters in the same age cohort had to have been born in 1959, which means they graduated in 1977 or ’78 (ten years earlier than they originally graduated before the 2007 time jump). That means Les and Lisa married shortly after graduating from college in the early 80’s and not so long afterwards had Summer, who graduated from high school last year at age 28. Hope that helps.

  11. Beanie Wanker

    Why is Flunky having a drink with Lazy Harry’s wife? What were Skunkhead and Lazy doing together in the back room?? So Flunky also can’t have soda or juice either? Nuthin’ but water, huh? Ooookay. Now Mr and Mrs Lardo have to figure a way to cut back on the pizza.

    So wait – That comic book flea market was really in Wankerview?? Oh, that would explain the 4 or 5 people we saw milling around.

  12. Beanie Wanker

    Helskor, I see you majored in BatMath. 🙂

  13. bayoustu

    So, judging by his looks, this means Funky hasn’t had a drink since he was 62…

  14. Merry Pookster

    I dunno but I could sure use something: One drink of Wine and two drinks of Gin and I’m lost in the Batzone again.

    Apologies to Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen

  15. Rusty

    Anyone ever see an unknown customer in Montoni’s? Ever? It’s like a private club for the characters in the strip.

  16. billytheskink

    This strip actually fits in quite well with the Funkyverse timeline, you just have to know the context: that Funky celebrates a “soberversary” every day. Sort of like an “accident-free since __” sign at a factory.

    Another possibility is that this is all an elaborate scheme to switch Crazy from free coffee to free water. Much cheaper for Montoni’s.

  17. If L can look like h in Batfont, then 1 can look like 2; it’s 15 years of sobriety, and Bob’s your uncle.




  18. Flummoxicated

    Looks like DSH John is being promoted to the second string; he’s been a regular since December. Hope readers enjoy creepy dudes with bad haircuts!

  19. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$

    Maybe Funky Winkerbean years are like dog years. 1 year equals 7 or somecrap like that.

  20. Duane

    Drunk Funky was happier and skinnier.

  21. John

    Funky: “Yup! 25 years sober!”

    Holly: “So, um, yeah, shouldn’t Cory be a lot older, then?”

    Funky: “Quiet, you.”

    Harry: “We were at a comical book convention yesterday! I met Star Wars there!”

    Funky: “…you…*…wait, what?”

    John: “Yes, we were at the Comic Convention Comic Convention, where we sold one comic. It was WONDERFUL.”

    Funky: “Selling the comic?”

    John: “No, the fursuiter party held afterwards. Oooooh, baby.”

    Funky: “…*….”

    Holly: “Why do all your friends insist on saying things I can never unhear?”

  22. Charles

    For all of our entirely reasonable criticism of Gross John, I just have to say that I find smarmy Crazy Harry to be even more gross in strips like these, if such a thing is even possible.

    I’m reminded of that strip where he orders water like wine from Rachel in such a manner that he looked as if he was hitting on her, and afterward he was so, so proud of himself. At least with Gross John the grossness seems unintentional, no matter how unbelievable that is.

  23. Beanie Wanker

    Well, this is a THRILLING storyline, but what’s the deal with the “Karaneesha never returns my calls!” arc? Was there a point to it at all? Was it resolved? Why was it an issue in the first place?

    Well, you beady eyed nitpickers would have known the answer to all of the above if BatDick hadn’t pulled the final strip of the series:

    Crayola’s evil cell phone: “Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!”

    Voice on the phone: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ”

    Goatee Boy: “Who was that?”

    Crayola: “Karnaysha and Summer. They’re spending the night with the team.”

    [Yes, TomHole thinks cell phones have dial tones.]

  24. Beanie Wanker

    Oh, crap on a stick! I put a click and a dialtone at the end of the EEEE and it didn’t show up! Well, whatever.

  25. Duane

    Funky Winkerbean drinking game: 1 drink for every smirk, chug for every Les pun.

  26. BeckoningChasm

    That “I-accept-my-oncoming-death” expression in the masthead is pretty unnerving. I’m looking forward to next week when it goes away.

  27. Sgt. Saunders

    Yeah, Duane, and one puke for every mention of Lisa. One Seconal every time Les calls someone “Kiddo” and one hit of blotter acid every time Les rubs one out in front of the window at a party.