Were it not for the strips last week, where Annie revealed not only that she and Fred were not in love “so much”, but that their marriage kept her from pursuing her dreams…today’s strip might provide a chuckle. Instead, all I can think about now is that Ann is going to pay Fred back for taking away the best years of her life. She’s going to be the one helping him regain his speech? I guess tomorrow Coach Bushka will show up to start Fred’s physical therapy.
42 thoughts on “No Hllllp in Sight”
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Son of Stuck Funky 
I’m still waiting for Fishstick Annie to say “The f— with it” and leave Fred. After last week, if would be the dramatically acceptable thing to do.
Sigh. I know this is supposed to be “cute” in that uniquely Batom-esque way of his, but as usual it’s just more disturbing than anything else.
So this is how the saga of the beloved Fred Fairgood comes to an end, eh? A shattered, pitiful specimen of decay incoherently muttering for help while shunted off to an unused room as to not burden his long-suffering wife too much. Oh well, we’ll just have to find solace in remembering the glory days of ol’ Principal Fairgood, like that delivery joke he used to tell and…uh, I’m sure there’s probably something else, too. I’m sure he had to have been blown up, involved in some sort of accident or suffered some great misfortune at some point in Act II: after all, everyone else was.
Seriously. Panel 3 is horrifying.
That expression on her face! The terror on his face! Demented.
Right now, I’m having a hard time deciding which is the most despicable line in the history of Flunky Wankerbean — Les telling Station Wagon Susan “nice kiss” after she resigned in disgrace over kissing him at school, or Fishstick Annie telling Fred his stroke was God’s way of telling him to “slow down a little.”
Something is so deranged about those two standing over helpless Fred and smirking. It disturbs me on a primal level, I swear.
To piggyback off of previous comments, yes, Fred is, as best he can, screaming for help, and not from either Fishstink or Dogwood. For whatever reason, Batcrap has submitted Fred Fairgood to a life of pure Hell. Lately, the raw hatred in this comic has become palpable. Why does TB even bother with pseudo-punchlines at this point?
At least Fred knows he’s in for a world of pain.
Reading Funky Winkerbean is like shopping for paper towels; it really doesn’t matter what’s printed on either one of them.
There’s no way I’m the only one reminded of the final scene from “The Fly” right now:
[img]http://www.weirdwildrealm.com/filmimages/fly-help-me.jpg[/img]
You’re all right. Without the subtext of last week’s strips where Ann confessed resentment, this might actually be funny.
Ha! It’s funny because Fishstick Annie is going to beat hell out of Fred! And Durwood gets to smirk! Hronk! *claps hands like a seal*
Well, the smiles in the last panel must mean this arc is ending soon and we won’t hear about Fred or Annie anymore until Annie makes the 911 call to report that Fred had “an accident.”
Can’t wait to see who TB…er…the god of Westview strikes down next.
I’d like to nominate Batiuk for Tone Deaf Author of the Century. I know it’s relatively early in the century but last week’s “marriage to Fred destroyed my dreams” contrasted with today’s “I’m going to make Fred’s therapy sessions into torture” are going to be hard to top.
What time is Bull Bullsquat coming over to take over the rehab? He can tell Fred he’s gonna be “ripped.” Then Bull and Doorknob can each grab a shoulder and PULL.
Who’s wheeling Fred in?? Is that Les with a shaved head? Maybe he’s here to do a Smirk Therapy session with Fred?
“Okay, Mr Fairgood, let’s practice your sm- Oh look! You’ve already got it. And you’re holding it a long time. I guess we’re done here.”
(Les waddles off.)
Damn. Tom Batiuk really is full of hatred, isn’t he?
True fact: Batiuk canceled his ComicCon appearance last year so he could meet all his fans at the national Hemlock Society meeting instead.
Funky Winkerbean: Because nothing says “comedy” like the suggestion of elder abuse.
For the past few weeks Tom systematically destroyed the Fairgood’s marriage and made sure each and every reader knows that Ann feels no love for her sick husband. Just apathy, bitterness, and revulsion.
Which make’s today’s strip seem more like like an adaptation of Stephen King’s MISERY…omg, which starred a NURSE NAMED ANNIE!
Well played, Tom. Well played.
Tom….Why do you have such sadistic angry issues?
You need a visit from the 3 Christmas Spirits.
Or…. just keep your attic door closed and unplug the fax machine
Ha ha ha! I found a little secret something at the bottom of the page. Well played, Mr. Hackett!
Once again, TB slanders a profession by having Annie provide the speech therapy, which is the single most important and difficult part of stroke recovery, because “how hard can it be?”, but more likely “I’m too lazy to create a new character to use as a speech therapist, and there’s more comic gold to be mined if I just use Annie instead, even though she has no training”. It was the same story with Summer and Bull. He’s totally overlooking the fact that both Physical Therapy and Speech Therapy are very difficult things which require years of training and dedication, and can’t just be picked up as a hobby.
Bastard hell-spawn of a van whore and a Toledo layabout, adopted and raised by seemingly mind-mannered educators who in reality live a crumpled marriage of convenience steeped in a bubbling cauldron of seething hatred, now with a helpless shell of an adoptive father at the mercy of a hissing shrew of an adoptive mother bent on revenge for slowly killing her dreams over a period of years, stalked by the ghost of his real mother, and tormented by all-round weirdo Les, all Darwin can do is smirk. There’s your documentary Jessica. Run with it.
This last panel needs some Rod Serling narration.
“Fred Fairgood. For years, he denied his wife her voice. Now he learns to late that what you do unto others is done unto you…in the Twilight Zone.”
I can’t decide what’s a better film reference for Fred’s current situation:
1. Tom Skerritt’s character in Alien begging Ripley to “Kill me, please.”
2. James Caan facing bed ridden torture at the hands of Kathy Bates in Misery.
Westview Oncologist,
I’m thinking of the girl in the hole in “Silence of the Lambs” where Buffalo Bill says “it rubs the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the hose again.”
So what happens on April 8th? The Grand Finale?
TFH sez: nah, just a note to myself. Pay it no mind. Really.
I look at Annie’s face in that last pannel and all I can hear in my head is Mermaid Man going “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVILLLLLL! EEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!”
While it is not quite as disturbing as the current FW arc, TB’s reign of destruction upon the post office continues in today’s Crankshaft.
Glad I’m not the only one who noticed that counter. I guess the disembodied head beside it made me hope it was leading up to Les’s execution via guillotine.
I can imagine the potential Saturday strip on this…
IMAGINATION
Panel One: Annie (besides Fred, with a smirk and a deranged look): “Now, Fred, there’s nothing to worry…”
Panel Two: (Annie smothers Fred with a pillow)
Panel Three: (Annie is running out): “Nurse! We lost him!”
REALITY
Darin is back at the apartment, giving some summary like “I think Dad’s going to recover” or something, with heavy lidded eyes and no change in expression.
“Mom, what’s with the car battery and the big sponge?” “Oh don’t worry Darren, it’s part of your dad’s therapy. Just run along and go back to your dorm room.”
I think Fishstix will take her revenge using Steve Martin’s old trick to play on a toddler: doing speech therapy wrong. We won’t see old Fred for a month or six, then, one Sunday, there he’ll be, spouting, “May I mombu dogface to the banana patch?”
Either that, or, starting tomorrow and for the rest of the year, 333 consecutive days of Westview’s two writers (Les & Fishtix) typing page after page of “All work and no play make Les/Annie a dull boy/girl.”
Peter David, a genuinely talented comic book writer, recently suffered a stroke. He is still able to write and is blogging about his treatment and recovery:
http://www.peterdavid.net
Considering that David not only knows about this terrible experience first-hand, but is also able to write WELL about both humorous and dramatic subjects, I have to wonder what he would have to say about this storyline. But then, I wouldn’t want to add to his suffering by suggesting that he read FW.
(Like Batiuk, Peter David is well-known for his frequent use of puns and wordplay–he’s written a series of fantasy novels starring a character named “Sir Apropos of Nothing”–but unlike Batiuk, he knows when NOT to use them.)
Who’s that in the masthead? Chien?
Frankie?
Beckoning…tune in tomorrow…MWUAHAhahahahaaaaa
Yay! Chris Sims’ Funkywatch for January is up.
During the last couple of weeks I confess to thinking, more than once, “Is Sims going to have a field day with this, or what?”
@TFH: that looks like Fishstick’s younger more lively self had she not entered into a soul-sucking marriage with her boss. Perhaps Annie is visited by the ghost of Westview’s past! Or is tomorrow the big reveal of anon-o-hand? Although judging by the bulge just below the waist, that dude(?) is packing heat, if you know what I mean. I can’t wait for tomorrow (not really).
At the door… Peppermint Patty all grown up? One of Fishstick’s gal pals?
Peppermint Patty? Why do you suggest her as a possibility? Hair color’s wrong, no freckles, she’s wearing glasses, non-athletic build…wait, did you mean Marcie?
I hope that’s not Chien, as she looked better in the Model Sheets. Honestly, it looks like Summer having gone through another time jump.
TheDiva:
“You’re entering a world of misery. A world of unlikeable characters and bad drawing. A world where poor writing is thought to be excellent. A world where plots are ridiculous yet not explained enough. Behind that door is a town in Ohio. Behind that door are sham marriages and bad pizza parlors. Behind that door a comic book strip where you wish the artist was shot. You’re about to enter…Funky Winkerbean.”
Chien: Now right there is a character I DO not remember AT ALL. Isn’t it sort of incredible that a comic strip could exist for decades and decades and still manage to have characters so obscure and so infrequently used that someone’s who’s been reading the thing for over 35 years (admittedly on-and-off at times) doesn’t even know who they are? I mean just think about that for a minute.
But that little preview pic is mighty intriguing. Young Annie? Alternate universe Summer? Another one of Lisa’s pre-Les kids? Jehovah’s Witness? Cannot (yawn) wait to find out (zzzzzzzz).
You know, I went to the ER recently with an eye infection, and I’m 6’4 and 250 pounds. Even so, I was asked twice if I “felt safe at home” even though there was no outward appearance that I was being abused. I was left with the impression that nurses take the remote possibility of physical abuse very seriously, and they don’t just laugh off its prospect. So I think the nurse wheeling Fred into the house would be very concerned about Anne’s behavior, especially since Fred’s condition places her in a stressful and trying situation, making her more likely to be abusive.
That, along with the earlier revelation that Anne holds Fred responsible for her life’s lost dreams, made this strip chilling. Just the thought that someone would reasonably take her threatening demeanor seriously drains what little humor this awful situation might have had.
The nurses also asked me, in their standard yet indirect way, if I were drunk, high or insane. I would think these questions would be even more urgent in Westview.