26 thoughts on “Faculty Losing Faculties”

  1. Dinkle: “Every year at the State Music Educators Convention I find myself looking around for the other old-timers.”

    Anyone normal person who hears him: “What an odd thing to say.”

    In other words: EXPOSITION: UR DOIN IT RONG.

  2. “Every year at the State Music Educators Convention I find myself looking around for the other old-timers who, like me, have no other interests and nothing better to do than to hang around at our former jobs cracking wise and wryly smirking. Then I remember that I’m the only one.”

    Man alive am I sick and tired of Dinkle and his big fat profound moon-face. Just like how I’m sick and tired of FW’s “each day we awake saddened to learn we’re still alive” take on “real life”. And the smirking: the never-ending, constant, unyielding smirking. And the “punchlines” (so to speak) which rarely if ever make sense no matter how many times you read them. Yet, for some sick reason, I cannot look away.

  3. I guess I’m confused. Does Harry still think he’s at the podium, cracking what he thinks are wry witticisms to an indifferent crowd? Or is he just staring off into space, bloviating to no one in particular?

    Either way, Harry, I wish YOU weren’t still here. I wish you were putrefying in an unmarked grave, where you belong. Ah, but who am I kidding? You’re indestructible. Among other things, you overcame deafness through your overwhelming power of pure smug. I hate you ever so much, Harry Dinkle.

  4. Hey, Check out panel 1. Statler’s abandoned Waldorf to enjoy some convention activities! Guess, there are only so many times you can watch that crazy show.

  6. Dear Comics Kingdom Readers Who Defended Tom’s Recent Stroke Storyline:

    You said the only reason we would dare mock it is because we never had loved ones endure the pain and suffering of illness and brain damage.

    You said that Tom was obviously a brave, sensitive should who should be cherished and protected from the Evil Readers Who Doubt His Intentions.

    You also said that we were obviously unemployed, but a Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist’s work can only be judged by another Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist, and only a jobless cur would dare do so otherwise.

    I present to you today’s strip: Mental illness and brain damage are being used as the punchline. The mocking of the sick and afflicted is glorified for a cheap non-gag.

    The only reason Tom is still a Nationally Syndicated Cartoonist is because his editors have phoned it in for the past 25 years.

    And we all have jobs.

    Thank you for your time.

  7. Question: Harry re-states today that this convention is for State Music Educators. Leaving aside the question of why someone who stopped contributing to such over 17 years ago (and was a Living Joke during his tenure) is a paid, featured guest, why in the world did Becky take the band to such a convention?!? If it’s for educators, then that explains the real reason why no one thought she was a real band leader! They couldn’t believe even Westview would hire somebody so PIG STUPID.

  9. Harry is a much older and even more depressing version of a 35-year-old mechanic who still prominently displays his high school football trophy and likes to talk about how he was this close to going pro.

  10. Alfred Hitchcock should sue for how badly Batiuk handled his cameo in panel one. Oh wait, Alfred Hitchcock has been dead for decades–which according to Tom Batiuk, makes him one of the Lucky Ones.

  11. After dealing with my IRL responsibilities, I return from my absence only to find HOLY HELL WE’RE STILL ON THIS?

    Was I gone for an exceptionally short time, or does Batuik just think we’re that interested in Harry Dinkle?

  13. What we’ve got is still all there? Like both arms?

    So Stinkle isn’t the only retired hanger-on at this snoozefest? Heeyeah, right. Maybe it’s like this in the doofy state of Ahia, but where I come from, retired is retired. All the retired teachers I know stopped doing teacher stuff, INCLUDING going to music teacher conventions. So I call “bullshit” yet again.

    Tune in next week as Cayla ruptures Les’s spleen.

  14. The only thing in today’s strip that made me laugh was my mistaken assumption that Harry was still delivering his speech — and no one, not even the ghosts of Conrad Bain and Ned Glass, is bothering to listen. I guess the comical jab about Becky’s missing arm was also unintended. So great job today, Batiuk — you accidentally made me laugh twice!

  15. You know, guys, for the longest time, I was convinced the Les Moore was TB’s avatar. But after today’s strip I’m beginning to think it’s Harry Dinkle. I’m sure that Dinkle’s comment reflects TB’s thoughts when he attends conventions (comic or otherwise). Of course, Dinkle is deaf to music the way TB is deaf to reality, but he hasn’t lost an arm, had a stroke or had cancer – yet.

  16. Uh oh! Stinkle is happy and content! We know The Universe doesn’t like this sort of thing. Somebody’s about to bite the dust! What will it be? Stroke? Cancer? Another lost limb? Another week of this tedious, droning dreck? A fire at the convention center? Nuclear war???

    Meanwhile, from under the locked door of Komix Corner comes the pungent odor of sweat, unlaundered chullo, Old Spice, bubble gum, pizza, and sex. Skunk Head is “batching” everything in sight for an extra week.

  17. Theory on Dinkle:
    His oncoming deafness mentioned in Act II actually did happen. Every one of his Act III appearances is not total reality, but rather, what a near totally-deaf Dinkle believes he sounds like and what he perceives others to be saying to him.
    This helps explain why Harriet and Becky so willingly set up his “jokes”.

  18. p4:

    Hairy Dinkle: “Oh look, there’s Joe Smith, retired band director for Big Walnut Tech. (whispering to his ladies)…I hear he has to wear a diaper now.
    HEY PEE PEE PANTS, YOU STILL HERE?!? WHY DON’T YOU HIT THE BRICKS, YOU’RE STINKING UP THE JOINT!! Now, where was I?

  19. OK a deaf guy cracks a joke to a one armed chick about whether “What we’ve got is still all there” a week after a story line about stroke and apparently accelerated aging.

  20. Considering that retired band directors have to be the only sincere FW fans left, I doubt Batiuk’s going to alienate them by killing off Harry D. in similar fashion to Coach Stropp and (presumably) Fred any time soon.

  21. If Harry is deaf, he should be drawn holding one of those turn-of-the-century old timey hearing aids shaped like a Victrola player’s speaker so that everyone will know he’s deaf.

  23. Guess it’s time for something brighter next week.

    Isn’t it time for buddy the companion dog to get hit by a car or something?

  24. We need a dead pool. My money is on Buddy dying, since he seems to be the happiest character in FW.

  25. Every year at the state music educators convention I find myself looking around for the other old timers… checking to make sure that we’re still all here… and that what we’ve got is still all there.

    —said no one, ever, in the history of the English language, yet inexplicably attributed to Harry Dinkle. The BBGSU 3000 (Batominc Bathos Generating Sorrow Unit) must have a screw loose.

  26. Just as I was about to say, “I can’t handle another week of this,” I was heartened by the counter at the bottom. Yeah, I’ll take this if it means 48 Les-free days.

    Oh no, did I just jinx it? Is that like telling a pitcher he has a no-hitter going?

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