…Said Nobody, Anywhere, Ever

Charles
February 26, 2013 at 7:27 pm
…in contrast to Les, [Linda’s] appearances don’t really do anything. At least with Les you have this often hilarious negative reaction. With Linda, it’s much more tiresome, with the primary reaction usually being boredom.

Holy Toledo, am I starting to hate, hate this comic strip. Having failed to get laughs yesterday with a stroke gag, Batiuk ratchets up the level of discomfort considerably  by equating the away team’s “good state of mind” and competitive spirit with… hemorrhagic fever?

29 thoughts on “…Said Nobody, Anywhere, Ever”

  1. Yup, the girls at “Holy Toledo” are so jazzed about their championship hopes that they’re highly infectious and bleeding heavily from all their orifices. No one paints a word picture quite like Batom Inc. does. “March Madness…it’s malignant!”.

    Seriously though, how can anyone sleep at night knowing that they cashed a check for coming up with a “joke” this relentlessly foul and awful? And WTF is this “Flora Burns” nonsesne supposed to mean? Am I missing some sort of joke there or what? This comic strip is deteriorating so rapidly I think it might be a good idea for one of Tombat’s neighbors to pop in on him to see if he’s OK and all.

  2. Well, this is the universe where any expression of happiness causes your nearest and dearest to be struck down in horrible ways, so it would make sense that they would treat enthusiasm as a horrible infectious disease.

  3. “Championship Ebola Virus.” Congrats, Tombat. You’ve coined a new phrase…that no one in their right mind would ever repeat. At least not for comedic effect, given that the Ebola virus is among the most horrific diseases known to man, currently. I mean, why not, “They’ve got Championship Colon Cancer!” or “They’ve got Championship Lou Gehrig’s Disease!” or “They’ve got Championship Leprosy!”

    Also, is there a more useless/mildly annoying character than Linda Bushka?

    Also, also: “Holy Toledo” as a joke name? Sorry, the 1950s ended awhile ago, Tombat.

  6. Continuity gaffe between Panels 1 and 2: Where did the person (can’t tell if it’s a man or a woman) in the W ball cap disappear to?

    Also, I’d like to nominate Panel 3 Les as his most current punchable douche face.

    Oh, yeah — and the punchline sucks. Not that anyone had their hopes up.

  7. See, joking about the Ebola virus is OK because it’s not happened to one FW’s Very Special Characters. Now, if someone claimed Lisa had “video-making fever cancer” or that Susan thought Les was “to die for”, that would be offensive.

    …Well, no, that last one would just produce smirks. The first is still bad.

  9. The guy in the W baseball cap left abruptly between panels 1 and 2. There are some things even someone raised in Westview can’t bear listening to.

  10. I’m surprised the coach at Holy Toledo isn’t Hugh G. Rection, or Biggus Dickus or some dopey joke name like that.

    We hasn’t seen Goatee Boy in about four months. Now we know why. He had a massive chin implant. Guess he got tired of Funky’s balls hitting him in the throat.

  12. “Flora Burns” also known as “Strawberry”. Two horiffic joke names in one panel is more than anyone should have to take. By P3, I’m still reeling from P1, so the hyperbole of Championship Ebola is, like, meh already.

  13. Flora Burns? Championship Ebola Virus?
    TB’s punning skills have gotten awfully dull. If he wants to sharpen them, he should go to Helen Fry.

    Also, I expect a cease & desist letter from Milo Hamilton will be arriving in TB’s mailbox shortly (unless they’ve closed his post office).

  14. My ancient work computer can’t load the strip at nj.com or seattle pi today. I should take that as a sign to stop reading it entirely.

    TFH sez: Rusty, here ya go! Remember, you asked for it.

  17. Man, I feel sad for white capped dude in Panel 1. Not only does he have to watch terrible basketball…but he has to listen to these 3 pathetic people rant on about the pointlessness of life.

    It’s like being having front row seats at live stage production of Funky Winkerbean.

  18. A bad jokey/pun about Toledo and a punchline involving a deadly virus? Have you no sense of decency, Batiuk? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

  19. Championship fever‽

    1 It’s more like championship alcoholism!
    2 It’s more like championship breast cancer!
    3 It’s more like championship dyslexia!
    4 It’s more like championship guns in the classroom!
    5 It’s more like championship post traumatic stress disorder!
    6 It’s more like championship racial discrimination!
    7 It’s more like championship teen suicide!
    8 It’s more like championship teen-dating abuse!

  21. Whoa. When Les furrows his brow, apparently his ENTIRE FACE begins the process of imploding.

    That’s the best news I’ve had all week!

  25. “Floor burns”. Oh. I guess I “get” it now. Please, someone drive a wooden stake through the heart of this comic strip before it bores again.

  26. The rest of Holy Toledo’s coaching staff: Jackie Noff, Imus P. Badleigh, Mike Hunt-Hertz, Keith Myath, and Annie Tuder-Groine.

    So where are we going this week? Tax grabs? The smokin’ hot competition of girls high school basketball? Recapping who’s stroked out? It’s just random idle chatter as these three nitwits sit in a packed gym, yet can still carry on a lengthy conversation. Must be kinda quiet for such a (from what I can see) large crowd. Is BatBore forgetting that detail, or is the gym THAT quiet? Is is high school girls basketball, after all. *yawwwnnnn*

  27. “Floor Burns”? Really? Well, yeah, I guess I can see that being funny to Tom Batiuk. To the rest of Planet Earth, not so much.

  28. Hey, there’s nothing for Thursday (as of 12:50 AM EST). Maybe this was the last Funky Winkerbean ever!!!!

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