Hater Tots

So you thought that put a neat bow on the whole bullying issue? Today the bullying has escalated a hundredfold. Wedgeman and his boys unrestrainedly pelt Alex with tater tots, while the rest of the student body either ignores it or joins in the laughter. You’d think that having faced down the bullies seemingly on his own yesterday, Owen would be emboldened to confront them again; instead, he wisely looks around for a teacher, but is dissuaded by Alex. Her forbearance in the face of such abuse borders on masochism. Rather than making her feel inferior, the bullying actually gives Alex a feeling of superiority over her tormentors. Take that, bullies!

I’m pleased to announce that this Tuesday, April 9th is Son of Stuck Funky’s third anniversary! Let’s give away a book! Be sure to check back here Tuesday for a chance to win a copy of The Complete Funky Winkerbean, Volume II!


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22 responses to “Hater Tots

  1. flappy

    this just got stupider ,hows batty keep his job??

  2. Epicus Doomus

    “Hater Tots”…that’s a good one, TFH. It’s a-courtin’ season in mid-central Ohio as a May-September romance begins to blossom between Owen and the newly-dusted-off Alex. The smell of processed fried food and dippin’ sauce is in the air as our two lovebirds bond over resigning themselves to the fact that there’s simply nothing they can do when faced with yet another cruel setback other than to sit there and meekly take it because we’re all just going to die eventually anyway. Ahhh, to be young and in love in Westview, eh?

    I won’t even try to speculate on where he’s going with this because I know it’ll be someplace far lamer and stupider than anything I can dream up. That’s why he gets the big bucks, you know? Once again he has a golden opportunity to turn Owen from just another obscure and generally hated FW character into a semi-endurable minor short-lived cult hero among a tiny group of fanatical FW haters, which would be a really huge step up for the character. The only question is: how will he blow it? How will BatBat once again find a way to leave everyone unsatisfied in every possible way? Looking forward to seeing how the master weaves his way out of yet another seemingly-obvious premise in that special, confoundingly boring way of his.

  3. “Don’t worry. It makes me feel smug. Let’s encourage it! What? Kids could be severely psychologically damaged if we don’t do something? Boy, I’m glad I’m not one of these guys!”

    Congrats on the anniversary, and nice banner! Brings back so many terrible, repressed memories.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Is this Batiuk’s way of saying, “Throw rotten eggs at my door, slash my tires, and snark on my strip all you want, because it reminds me of how much better I am than you”? In its own way, reading this strip every morning makes me feel a little bullied, too. Guess we’ll just have to see who can bend over and take it the longest.

  5. O.B. Dan

    Very noble position taken by that weird girl, but in the real world, it doesn’t work like that. In the real world, one from which Batiuk seems to have lost his way, Weird Girl would either sit there and take it, believing the humiliation from this incident will live immortal, or run from the room, crying, believing the humiliation will live immortal.

    High school kids get about as noble as Stinky Chullo-Wearing Kid, but not as strong and stable as the 40-Year Old Virgin.

  6. Smirks 'R Us

    “It reminds me that I’m not like them”. Very true Alex. For instance, the bullies are not 40. This arc is just beyond stupid. Par for the course, BatHack.

    Congrats TFH on the 3rd Anniversary! So that’s what the mysterious disappearing counter at the bottom of the page was counting down to. Even though the arcs recently (say, the last 10 years) have been lame, you have been doing some of your best work on the post titles. I show up here for those as much as anything. Thanks again for maintaining the site. I am sure it is more work than most of us realize.

  7. Smirks 'R Us

    Wait a minute, you put Kerry in the masthead, but not Khan?!? Well, no one is perfect TFH.

  8. Because being accepted by their peers and not having their self-image pissed on isn’t important to teenagers at all….

    Dammit, Batiuk, I just turned 36 and I still have problems being open with my feelings due to spending my adolescence bottling them up so nobody would see them and make fun of me. Don’t pretend you can just pat yourself on the back for being all morally superior and that will make everything okay.

  9. John

    Tom Batiuck: “Remember, kids, sticks and stones might hurt your bones, but words, horseplay, and food fights will never hurt you!”

    Bullying Victim: “Actually, words can hurt an awful lot. And FOOD FIGHTS? HORSEPLAY? Like, seriously? That’s what you feel High School Bullies are like?!?”

    Tom Batiuck: “Oooh, awards, accolades, I can just TASTE them lining up no-….huh? Well, yes. After all, Bully Jocks are just evil, stupid, teenagers. They never REALLY hurt anyone. They just sort of exist to make Les Moore look better!”

    Bullying Victim: “….Les?!? What does Les have to do with this?”

    Tom Batiuck: “….yes….yes….Les….must draw Les soon. So SICK of these evil, stupid, worthless, internet loving BRATS…”

    Bullying Victim: *sigh*

  10. Merry Pookster

    No videos captured by other students and posted on you-tube?

    If Batyuck had a clue…..if only he had a clue of what kids are like.

  11. bobanero

    SoSF, bringing humor to FW for three years, because God knows TB isn’t going to do it. Congratulations!

  12. Flummoxicated

    Kids today. It’s a damn shame. Wasting perfectly good tater tots like that.

  13. $$$Westview Oncologist$$$$$

    OK, so Bull rather than ask Owen and Alex about what was going on with those three jerks, he just glanced menacingly for a few seconds and went on his merry way thinking the situation was well in hand?

    And Owen, who now asks for a teacher’s assistance, didn’t think to tell the teachers that Alex is being bullied by three guys? In his own delusion mind, Owen actually believed that his “masculine physique” menaced the three bullies into giving up?

    And in the days of Newtown, 9-11, Columbine…no teacher is looking to stop a food fight/ I mean this practically is a riot scene!

    I guess I chalk it up to the fact that the people of Westview really don’t give a crap what becomes of their offspring. Al

  14. Charles

    “It reminds me that I’m not like them.”

    That’s nice. It still doesn’t change the fact that your lunch has been ruined by you constantly being pelted with tater tots. And there was nothing you could do about it. They decide that they’re going to ruin your day, and you have to just sit there and take it.

    And Owen, if you’re interested in finding a teacher, they’re all in the teachers’ lounge congratulating themselves over the stand they took toward those same bullies earlier today.

    So maybe Alex is right not to bother, if not for the right reasons. It’s not going to make any difference and to attempt to do something about it will merely expose the futility of her situation.

    Btw, as has been said, Alex’s reaction is not one of a 15 year-old girl, or however old she’s supposed to be today. I’ve given Batiuk some slack and said that he probably forgot, just like us, that he originally showed Alex back in 2007, but then I remember that that Sunday a couple weeks ago featuring her seemed to suggest she was much older than Owen then as well.

    And the sad thing about today’s comic is the simple fact that the bullies are always the same three guys. It’d be absurdly easy for the school to shut this down if they gave a shit.

  15. Maybe it reminds her that she’s not like them, because they do stuff.

  16. Beanie Wanker

    *sigh* Do I REALLY have to make this prediction? Oh, okay. Might as well. I predict this bullying arc will be abruptly dropped like a hot potato. There will be no resolution. No punishment for the bullies. What looks like an evolving relationship with Circus Freak Gurl will be dropped and forgotten. Alex will disappear again. Shall I go on? This is because Batdope knows nothing about continuity, and is not talented enough to connect anything to anything else.

    I would get a great laugh if Principal “Slappy” Nate calls an assembly and declares bullying illegal because it’s not in The Handbook.

    Thank you. We now take you back to today’s episode of Tommy BatDick’s “School Bullying in These 1950’s.”

  17. Charles

    Batiuk would win me over quite a bit if he used this line from Diversion Surplus:

    “My old man taught me how to handle bullies: Just stand up to them and say ‘PLEASE BE MORE CONSIDERATE’.”

    And Alex isn’t going to disappear. As the third “sympathetic” high schooler “introduced”, Batiuk can’t afford to get rid of her. That’s part of the reason why she came back from her one-off 5.5 years ago, after all.

  18. BeckoningChasm

    Congratulations, TFH!

    That picture of Creepy John next to the “S” in “Stuck” – my God, that is disturbing.

  19. Señor Tortilla

    They weren’t throwing tater tots at Alex, you twit–they were throwing them at you.

  20. Slager

    Question – Alex is supposed to be a high school freshman? Like, 14 or 15 years old? When I was a high school freshman, I didn’t know ANY classmates with that many (or any) tattoos.

  21. Yaoi Huntress Earth

    Why must his women look either like homely boys, haggered and fat or hatchet-faced?

  22. Beanie Wanker

    Probably because Batty doesn’t like girls. Just sayin’.