Spotty Humor


It’s surprising how Tombat is able to draw a teenager relaxing cross-legged on their bed that stiff and unnatural. Anyone hoping Summer was going to take off that hoody at some point is going to be disappointed by today’s strip.

Are these pajamas now? What part of her shapeless build and Pete Rose haircut even remotely suggests this is a girl we’re looking at?

31 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

31 responses to “Spotty Humor

  1. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    I am glad that Summer is finding great mirth with her mother’s preamble to her sexual assault by a psychopath. Because you know parents, nothing brings you and your daughter closer together than sharing your date rape experiences. And fathers, don’t feel left out! Next time you spend quality time with your daughter, regale her with tales of your rag and chloroform days.

    **This message was approved by the Hallmark Channel . Bringing Families Together!!!**

  2. Epicus Doomus

    How nice of Batom to remind us that beneath the “golly gee” naivete and constant impending doom, Lisa was a witty and observant soul who…..(zzzzzzzzz). Anyhow, I’m assuming that Frankie’s tasteless van décor wasn’t a deal-breaker for poor, poor Lisa in her quest to become a popular kid, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, right?

    The phony teen girl penmanship is grating, as is Summer’s annoying smirk and Batom’s attempt at having Lisa make a “joke” of sorts, which rarely ever happens. Hard to believe that after fourteen (or whatever) weeks of mindless time-killing, he felt the need to slow things down a notch with this superfluous, idiotic drivel. Don’t worry about “fleshing out” Teen Lisa’s character and just tell the f*cking story already, man.

  3. Merry Pookster

    Yucking it up as Lisa must have written this after she left the van….and the alleged sexual assault.
    Leopard skin pattern? I was expecting orange shag!

  4. Frightened Inmate Number 2

    Why is she smirking at this? It is an idiotic thing to write, and an idiotic thing to smirk at!

  5. Rusty

    Please don’t tell me this is just the first time in the van, and Frankie has to take her out for about 10 more dates. Otherwise, as Pookster stated, why would she be making wisecracks about the seatcovers if she was only on a solo van date once?

  6. Just in case Frankie’s villainy wasn’t heavy-handed enough, he apparently lines the inside of his van with pelts from endangered animals. (Though for once I agree with Saint Dead Lisa here–leopard skin print is probably the tackiest of design choices.)

  7. 7dials

    Tom, please. I know you probably think the moment has passed, but it’s still not too late to learn how to draw women.

  8. Jimmy

    As a van aficionado, I say Zebra print is worse than leopard. Unless you’re a big fan of the band Zebra. Then it makes perfect sense.

    Who’s behind the door? It’s Frankie, baby, and he’s ready for lovin’!

  9. Señor Tortilla

    Summer turns the page to hear ol’ broccoli head talk about her leopard skin print underwear. Try to get that image out of your head.

  10. Rusty

    Meanwhile, Keisha tries to get comfortable in the tent they have set up in the back yard. Enjoy your summer, Keisha!

  11. Hey now, wait a minute! When are the retcon police going to shut this operation down? As helveticavonampersand noted yesterthread, Frankie seems to have been retconned into a Westview football player. And now, the post-element-of-coercion diary entry uses twee literary devices to create a false sense of suspense.

    “Dear diary, when first I espied Frankie’s ridiculous leopard skin upholstery, I never suspected that he was some sort of—predator!

    There. Six in the morning, and no coffee, and I still write better than dear auteur.

  12. Rusty

    I came for the date-rape narrative, but I stayed for the wry observations and clever wordplay.

  13. Charles

    So Batiuk is so incapable of writing interesting and involving that he has to make Frankie a complete doofus. Even Lisa, before she decides to go out with this guy, is making fun of him and his bad taste. There is literally not one thing that Batiuk has included that’s intended for us to at least respect Frankie menace. He’s just a doofus who got violent when Queen Dork herself shot him down. There’s been no indication that he has any attractive or compelling qualities that would make anyone interested in him. All we know is that he was a football player, he noticed Lisa, and no one has ever taken him seriously.

  14. John

    Lisa’s Diary: In fact, as big cats go, I much prefer jaguars, or pumas. Go to Hell, leopards!

    Summer: “Yeesh. Mom was a bit racist.”

  15. J.R. Clark

    What is 1965 Keith Richards doing reading Lisa’s diary? Is this how Keef dreamed up the song “Satisfaction”?

  16. Gyre

    The entire leopard skin thing is a non sequitur. Since, obviously, Frank couldn’t have possibly been able to afford actual leopard skins (given that he now went to the same school as everyone else and lived in this apparent dead end of a town there’s no way he had money) it can’t be a heavy handed “fur is murder” speech.

    Were the furs fake? Why would he want to have fake fur on his seats?

    Maybe this was a fad or something at the time that I just don’t know of.

    Anyway, points to Batiuk for writing that feels like something I actually would find in a journal but I have to take some points off for Summer’s smile (or the faint, tired excuse for a smile that people who live in this town are limited to) when she should know, at the very least, that the story ends with Frank getting her mother pregnant and then leaving Lisa to shoulder the self righteous scorn (why is it still vague as to what people know!?). Summer, that’s not really something that should evoke a smile from you.

  17. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Leopard skin? How evil! That’s almost as corny as a guy wanting to get married while dressed in a Batman costume. Hope you don’t ever have to endure THAT, Teenage Ghost Lisa from the 20th Century or whoever you’re supposed to be.

  18. O.B. Dan

    Anyhow, I’m assuming that Frankie’s tasteless van décor wasn’t a deal-breaker for poor, poor Lisa in her quest to become a popular kid, otherwise we wouldn’t be here, right?

    And…

    Hey now, wait a minute! When are the retcon police going to shut this operation down? As helveticavonampersand noted yesterthread, Frankie seems to have been retconned into a Westview football player.

    I’m happy to see I’m not the only one referring to the real story of Our Land Of Perpetual Visitations, and rejecting this over-bearing retcon crap.

    Batiuk, you sooooooooooooo suck.

  19. Helskor

    Nobody anywhere is hoping Summer will take off her hoodie. It needs to stay ON.

    “…only works on leopards.” Is Holy Saint Dead Lisa implying that she’s not aroused by Frankie’s choice of upholstery? Our Lisa would never have dirty girl thoughts like that. Surely she must mean that leopard skins only belong on cute widdle leopards.

  20. MKay

    And now we must acknowledge that she has good taste. Another day, another inch that Lisa’s perfection is crammed down our throats.

  21. bad wolf

    Two weeks ago: “Hi Summer! How was your first year in college? What was it like being away from home? Did you and Keisha ever get to play a game? Are you keeping your scholarship anyway? Did you decide on a major? Did you ever find a boyfriend?”

    Well, since we didn’t do any of that, and this arc has been boring beyond belief (it has also been simply beyond belief), some nosing around on the Crankshaft site turned up this amusing statement by Chuck Ayres, the Crankshaft artist:

    “Since 1987, I’ve been working on Crankshaft with former KSU classmate Tom Batiuk (he writes, I draw) and since 1994, I’ve been penciling Tom’s other strip, Funky Winkerbean.”

  22. Chyron HR

    “Frankie picked me up in his van tonight. All of the seats are covered with leopard skins. Sorry, but leopard skin only works on leopards. Oh, I almost forgot, he also sexually assaulted me.”

    I assume Les will be publishing this masterpiece (unedited) as a companion volume to the bestselling Lisa’s Story. The Silmarillion of Lisa, if you will.

  23. John

    “I’m happy to see I’m not the only one referring to the real story of Our Land Of Perpetual Visitations, and rejecting this over-bearing retcon crap.”

    Since this arc began, pretty much everyone here has been pointing out it’s a retcon and deriding Tom over it.

    You’re far from a lone voice in the wilderness, Dan.

  24. bobanero

    Faux leopard skin is one of those universal signs of sexual predatorship. Tomorrow we’ll find out that his van is also equipped with a water bed and satin sheets.

    In the early 80’s I drove a VW Rabbit, and somewhere (yard sale or some place I can’t remember) I picked up a pair of faux leopard pillows that I kept in my car on the rear deck, which held me up to endless derision from my boss and co-workers, because I was totally not a sexual predator in any way, but that’s the impression that was conveyed.

  25. Professor Fate

    I must add nothing creates dramtaic tension quite like watching someone read something.

  26. Holy moly! All this time, Ayers has been responsible for the War on Limbs‽ Or does Batominc leave detailed written instructions on which body parts to distort each week?

  27. firedmyass

    All the actual humans I know would use the phrase “leopard PRINT” in such situations.

  28. beckoningchasm

    I have to assume that Lisa was writing her diary in real-time, as it happened. So tomorrow we’ll read, “Oh, Frankie just asked me what I was doing. I told him writing in my diary, and I said some day he could read it if he liked. He told me he doesn’t know how to read. I asked him for an eraser and I’m not going to give it back. This Pepsi tastes funny.”

  29. bad wolf

    Weird, isn’t it? I don’t think Ayres has been drawing Funky all this time, but what was he trying to say, and why is it posted in their biographies?

  30. Señor Tortilla

    If Ayrhead had been penciling since ’94, then how did Byrne draw the 2003 strips?