Hey gang, it’s your old pal Epicus, taking the SoSF reins for what promises to be a spectacular week of earth-shattering FW events and mind-boggling TB plot twists. Or banal TB idiocy and pathetic FW contrivances, with is probably far more likely. Special thanks to TFH for the opportunity to host the interweb’s premier Funky Winkerbean snark blog, it’s both an honor and a privilege! Likewise, props are due for our previous guest host, DavidO, for a job very well done! Now let’s leap right on in to this week’s edition of the big Frankie mega-arc and see what went on (shudder) in that hideous leopard-skinned van, shall we?
So finally, after approximately thirty-seven weeks of boring chatter and nonsensical developments, we learn the truth about that awful, awful night when the despised Boy Lisa was conceived. There wasn’t any rape or even any actual coercion involved at all! Nope, while a beer-addled Lisa tried to communicate her growing (and awfully sudden) revulsion for Frankie via deep, meaningful telepathic eye contact, she blinked, which he naturally interpreted as “green light, all systems go, let’s get bizz-ay!”. An honest mistake, as who among us hasn’t had a drunken blink misinterpreted as an invitation to wanton, reckless sex and unplanned parenthood? Good thing Lisa didn’t sneeze, as God only knows what sort of perversions Frankie might have unleashed upon her. In any case, several moments later Lisa was inseminated, beginning a series of events which would eventually lead to the ruination of an entire comic strip. Nice going there, Blinky.
Hopefully Summer takes her mom’s story to heart and remembers the sex-blinking code if she ever finds herself in some creepy guy’s van exchanging deep soulful stares, although we all know that’s highly, highly unlikely for any number of reasons I won’t go into here. It’s such a shame that Lisa couldn’t think of any other way to communicate her feelings other than through eye contact and telepathy. Maybe sign language or semaphore or something, I don’t know.