And another plotline deflates with a soft, farting noise, like a balloon animal lying long forgotten in a dust-covered toy box, in the attic of an abandoned house sitting silent in the rain.
This whole “Harry’s 50th Wedding Anniversary” arc has been dull even by Funky Winkerbean standards and folks, that’s saying a lot.
Let me mention something here. I was originally scheduled to assist Fearless Leader some weeks ago, but that conflicted with a trip out of town, so Fearless Leader wisely scheduled Mr. Epicus Doomus in my stead. A good thing too, as it turned out I had no internet access (other than a smart phone–have you ever tried to blog with a smart phone?). I mention this not because it’s interesting but because it illustrates the way in which most stories are told–something begins, there’s a crisis to be resolved, people work to resolve the crisis, and there’s a satisfying conclusion.
Now, my new superpowers only go as far as “sidekick” so I have no idea if this Harry-Crapper continues next week. But this story is like one told by a five-year-old. “There was this man and he wanted to give a lady a special party and he did and everything was great and then they went to Niagara Falls.” No tension, no drama, nothing unexpected–it’s as if Lucy promised Charlie Brown that she’d let him kick the football, and he did, and it was a pretty good kick. In other words, boring.
It does lend some credence to my idea that the characters in this strip are avatars of folks in Tom Batiuk’s real life, and that their portrayal rises and falls depending on how his relationship with them wavers. Note Fred Fairgood, who gave a little tour of his old apartments and then suddenly suffered a crippling stroke. I bet the real-life Fred’s Christmas card wasn’t quite up to Tom’s standard. Bull Bushka is the opposite example; once a bully and nemesis, now he is generally treated pretty well in Westview. I think Tom Batiuk met the real-life Bull a few years ago and the two of them found they got along pretty well.
So, I’m guessing that Harry Dinkle was an especially beloved teacher. (Unless he’s another author avatar. Shudder.) Harry is always treated with respect (in the strip) and so far as I can recall, he’s never interacted with Les. That’s the only reason I can see that Les was barely at the party, and he never gave out lame smirks and worse puns. Harry’s not to be smirked at, nor punned into.
But that’s no excuse to have nothing happen.
Pretty sad is the idea that this represents how Tom Batiuk’s own 50th anniversary happened. Even sadder if this represents how he wished it happened.
Son of Stuck Funky 
I guess the other Harry’s (Crazy’s) “secret invitation” got lost in the mail.
There’s a whole list of MIA’s for this boring party…. the BB girls found something better as did Darrin and Jessica upstairs…only 2 former students.
Yes… this is life viewed from Tom Batiuks attic studio and these are all avatars of some part of his experiences, desires or delusions (mostly delusions).
Harry is a dickhead…Tom created Harry…..Tom is a dickhead.
Simple logic.
Isn’t Batiuk’s wife dead? I thought that was what sparked this descent into author avatars, cancer, improbable success for Les, cancer, actual teenage characters being pushed out of the story, cancer, stories that go nowhere, cancer, obsession with Lisa and cancer.
Can’t see how he would have had a fiftieth anniversary of any kind.
Random trivia: in Back to the Future II, the Chapel O’ Love was the name of the tacky Vegas wedding venue where Marty and Jennifer got married, an indicator that their life together has been a big disappointment right from the start. So Funky using the term to describe Montoni’s is strangely fitting.
If they walk outside and get hit by a truck then this arc would be interesting.
Oh, wait, how about a truck driven by that women who drove Funky (or someone) off the road?
Crankshaft is better then this crap.
Chapel of Love?! Doesn’t hawk-nosed Funky mean Chapel of Putting Out?!
lets hope saturday strip isn’t Dinkleberry kicked back in bed smoking after what he calls sex telling wifey how lucky she is to be mrs Dinkleberry
I’ve got a feeling something bad is going to happen to one or both of them. Something about the way Funky is crinkling his eyes in the last panel, he will never see them again.
It also looks like Harriet is smuggling some cupcakes out in her neck.
Gyre: His spouse is alive. The Lisa arc was based on Tom getting cancer himself IRL, then having a relapse. While (obviously) he lives, he decided to kill Lisa off for the awards and accolades.
My only thought: Wow. Funky actually looks ten years OLDER than Harry in that first panel.
More like the Chapel Of Lard. Instead of stained glass they just have stains. No organ, but plenty of organ meat. The communion wafers are covered in tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese. “Let us bray”.
Speaking of braying, there goes Dinkle, cackling his way back home to pat himself on the back some more. Surely BatFraud will slip a few more “eldery = comedy gold” “gags” in there before this woefully horrible little arc finally, mercifully ends, too. That party couldn’t possibly have been any more lame or more anti-climactic, but anti-climaxes are what this comic strip is all about, so there you go. This was a classic “uh-oh, I have two blank weeks I gotta fill in there” FW filler at its most uninspired and dull, just terrible, nonsensical stuff.
I love the cheesy sign informing potential customers (guffaw) that Montoni’s is closed for a private party. The Sunday morning breakfast pizza crowd must have been devastated.
Gyre, Mrs. B.is still alive, since he mentioned going to a concert with her in an interview this year. Based on the last seven years of the strip, however, he apparently wishes she was dead.
@Beckoningchasm – Your story telling was much better than TB’s. Thank you…
Are we sure today’s strip isn’t another one of TB’s time jumping tricks? I mean, it looks kinda like Funky and Holly are meeting their future selves.
Same smirks, same noses, identical builds, essentially the same hairlines… if had never read this strip before today, this is quite possibly what I would think was going on. “Funky Winkerbean” even sounds like the name of a sci-fi time-travel strip too.
The “Closed For Private Party” sign really cracks me up. It even looks professionally made, like they use it on a regular basis. Maybe that’s why Montoni’s has been so empty lately — they forgot to take the sign down the last time someone’s pitiful life called for a celebration. It’s really more of a cult than a restaurant. Not that it matters, anyway. Montoni’s couldn’t turn a profit if they were open 48 hours a day.
Reading this arc a quote from Planes, Trains & Automobiles came to mind: “And by the way, you know, when you’re telling these little stories? Here’s a good idea – have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener.”
I can only hope that Frankie and Lenny are waiting outside with a huge video camera and pictures of Dinkle performing some ghastly sex act on Lefty, all ready for the reality series “Dirty, Dirty, Harry” or, if all goes well, “Harriet Get Your Gun”.
Montoni’s closed for a private party, on a Sunday?!? How are the citizens of Westview going to satisfy their Breakfast Pizza(TM) cravings? Maybe Khan siezed the opportunity to add it to his menu.
What about the cake? Deer Lowered. I guess the Gay PRommers ate the cake.
I’ve got to say, I really liked the storytelling in this one. I especially liked the part where I had to imagine blogging with nothing but a smartphone.
I like to think this was a Sunday strip idea that got cannibalized to create a weekly strip.
Because pure human laziness is the only real sane answer for a strip this poor.
I would really lose all faith in humanity, if someone actually spent hours at his job just to produce this abomination.