Forget about Dinkle’s execrable, mind-numbingly stupid “joke” and ignore the ridiculous notion of DSH John actually WANTING to spend more time with his incessantly complaining, miserable one-armed wife instead of hanging out in his tree fort with his comic books all day. No, the one truly noteworthy thing about this otherwise awful arc is the fact that Batom managed to go an entire week without featuring Becky’s infamous pinned-up sleeve even once! I know, amazing, right? She’s just letting that freak sleeve fly this week and I for one welcome the change because that tri-folded pinned-up sleeve always annoys the hell out of me.
Hopefully this marks the end of “Pandering To Band Directors In The Hope They’ll Clip These Strips And Tape Them To The Band Room Door” week because we’re really scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel here now. You’d think he’d put a little effort into these seeing how it’s a subject so near and dear to him, but I guess not, based on how staggeringly flaccid and feeble this arc was. Par for the course, I suppose.
Son of Stuck Funky 
What, is TB gonna squeeze out a “for better or for [blank] joke every month?
Jeez, these two act as if they’re beat police officers working triple shifts during a serial rapist spree. They’re goddamn band directors!!!!!!
They probably have more free time than most people in other jobs ever have!!
The only pressures on this job are the one’s that Becky puts on herself by acting like Pol Pot during these effing marching practices. Nobody is going to die, because the sousaphone player was out of step on the salsa version of “Ice, Ice Baby”!!!!
Not to mention it’s not like John is overloaded with work at the comic shop that he couldn’t visit you during practices.. What? Is he going to miss an opportunity to spout comic book wisdom on Owen and Cody. Well, crap on a cracker…Owen and Cody are in your wife’s fucking band!!! DSH John can kill two canaries with one coal here!!!
No, Becky…I hate to tell you the truth. But I know the real reason John doesn’t see you anymore….It’s the missing arm, Becky….It is. There’s only so many times a man can look at his wife without saying “Goddamit…this bitch needs another arm!!!…..Upgrade time!!!”
Though I can’t imaging what DSH John could upgrade to.. Well a woman with a second arm would be a start I guess…
Batiuk might just kill off Fred so he can use that “For better or for hearse” gag he’s been holding on to.
Also, what the funk is going on in the header? Is Bull paying someone for sexual favors? Who is he paying…?
(***cue Unsolved Mysteries Theme****)
Hey, I’ll be the first one to admit that marching band can be quite the exhausting endeavor. But you put up with it, because the love of music and the joy of performing make it all worth it. At least it does for most people–I have never seen anybody be more miserable and woefully resigned about an elective class as Becky and her death marchers. This may be the least effective method of promoting school bands ever, next to Mr. B Natural.
Dinkle’s head is fucking enormous in the last panel. Big enough to park in the end zone and have the band march out of his mouth.
Oops, second panel. I only wished there was no third panel.
TFH: I’d forgotten all about that one, it makes a terrible, lazy “punchline” appear even hackier and lazier, as impossible as that seems. And the irony of Harry Dinkle offering relationship advice is not lost on me, either, especially since his dysfunctional marriage was the subject of a two-week long arc just a few weeks ago.
It used to be that the band was always suffering because of Dinkle and his insane love of marching bands. It was the whole premise behind the band jokes, in fact. Now though, the premise is that marching band itself is some sort of necessary evil, a torture that must be endured by those unfortunate enough to be involved in it, just another thankless chore. So why is anyone even bothering with it?
I spend all day driving around the counties trying to help real people with real problems! Sometimes I have to calm down a spouse, sometimes I have to change an adult diaper, sometimes I have to speak sternly to an errant toddler, and sometimes I even have to call 911 while I am administering CPR by myself.
So I can really identify with the problems of a band camp director, she must have to put in 3, maybe even 4 hours with these kids!
FBOFW gags are Tom’s homage to Lynn Johnson
Later, at home with Johnny, Becky relates: “And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute right up Dinkle’s ass.”
Drama, drama, drama! My high school band director simply remained a little tiddly for the entire season. Now, what’s so hard about that?
@Oncologist – Coach has a dollar for the vendo, and is pissed that all the junk food has been exchanged for carrots and apples.
Becky: “Last summer, John told everyone at Montoni’s that he and I never had sex anymore.”
Dinkle: “Gracious! Well, how did you react to that, Becky?”
Becky: “I spent more time with you. A lot more time. I also began taking overnight trips with you and started talking with you about your penis.”
Dinkle: “….oh.”
Becky: “…..yeah.”
Dinkle: “Um, Becky, is that your toe stroking my shin?”
Becky: “Why, so it is. Guess what I’m going to stroke next?”
************************************
Seriously, Tom. Does nobody edit you at all anymore? If these two AREN’T having an affair, then I’ll eat my hat.
Based on the masthead, I’m betting next week’s arc has Bull fired, then using his last five dollar bill to proposition Westview’s hooker.
—Based on the masthead, I’m betting next week’s arc has Bull fired, then using his last five dollar bill to proposition Westview’s hooker.—-
Which will lead to Bull getting AIDS and allow Tom Batiuk to exploit another disease in his search of a pulitzer.