Not Cool

Link to today’s strip

I know of something that could possibly act as a “cooler”. It’s called a “refrigerator”. It’s like a cooler, only bigger. Seriously though, nice try at one of those “these damned kids today” strips but no, I’m fairly certain that young people today are quite familiar with glass, what with their beer and bongs and meth pipes and all. This one reads like it probably should have been left in the outtake pile or maybe the blooper reel. Although I always love how he draws that creepy Komix Korner staircase, though, one of my favorite things in the strip in fact. It’s like a portal leading to some insane geek hell dimension.

And isn’t there probably a cooler full of drinks right downstairs in Montoni’s anyway? I take back that “nice try”.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Not Cool

  1. Rusty

    Strange that original rebel Crazy Harry likes to trot out the “back in the day” bullshit when talking to the teens. Back in Batiuk’s day, more likely, the 1950’s. And most teen boys I know (like my son) don’t wear cargo pants and wool hats on hot days.

  2. Beer still comes in glass bottles, last I checked, as do some soft drinks. So it’s not just pointless nostalgia, it’s badly researched pointless nostalgia. Double fail.

  3. Charles

    “…grab one of those little glass bottles of pop!”

    What an awkward way to set up the joke. What possible purpose could have been served by indicating what the bottle was made of?

    And Jesus, are we supposed to believe that Owen is so stupid that he doesn’t know what glass is? He’s never seen a window? He has never seen or drank out of a.. well… glass?

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I presume Batiuk’s intent was to make it look like “these kids today” have no idea that soft drinks were once sold in glass bottles, but, as usual, it ends up reading like glass-as-an-actual-thing-that-still-exists-in-the-modern-world is in itself a mysterious concept that has somehow snuck past Owen’s limited vocabulary..

  5. I’m trying–and failing–to determine the audience for today’s attempt at humor. Lots of potables are still sold in bottles these days, orange juice, beer, and so on, so it’s not like this is some kind of “35mm film, what’s that?” or “VHS tapes, what’re those?” thing.

    So, I’m gonna take a wild guess here and suggest that the intended audience for today’s joke is…Tom Batiuk. And that when he wrote this out and drew it, and looked upon what he had wrought, he laughed and laughed and laughed.

    That image depresses me more than anything I’ve seen in the actual strip. Yeah, Tom Batiuk, you made me sadder than I typically am. Way to go, man. Way to go.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    I failed to mention the infamous hand-lettered Komix Korner sign on the door in panel two, which stands in stark contrast next to the rather normal-looking sign at the bottom of that cursed staircase in panel one. I always find it highly amusing that I’m supposed to believe an actual functioning business operates behind that sad creepy door.

    Coming tomorrow: Harry fondly reminisces about occasionally washing the hat he always wore year-round to a completely baffled and confused Owen.

  7. MKay

    “Gee, Harry, this story is LIKE dull, but mind-numbing.”

  8. Gyre

    So Batiuk has a young character but does nothing with them, has a poorly written setup for a joke, has a joke focusing on the generation gap (as if we hadn’t already seen that at band camp) and can’t actually figure out how to draw the kid’s head without that hat*.

    Put in confusing attempts at sequential art, Lisa and contrived solutions and you’ve got the comic summarized. And I thought that the comic was starting to go back up in quality too 😦

    *or is too worried no one will know who the kid is because the kid appears so rarely.

  9. O.B. Dan

    You’re showing your age, E.D., or, more specifically, lack of age. What Crazy Harry is referring to was a big metal box on legs, with racks that held Coke (the old five cents bottles) vertically at the top of the neck under that mouthpiece bulge. The bottles were self-served, implying an honor system, or even free.

    And I’m showing my own age in that I remember these like it was yesterday..

  10. Chyron HR

    “Was offered Swedish love and French love…but not American love. American love; like Coke in green glass bottles…they don’t make it anymore.”

  11. EricW

    This comes off as “Harry is as much of a condescending prick as everybody else in Owen’s life.” That half-lidded gaze across the “punchline” just screams “Oh. This again.”

  12. “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”

    That should be “Funky Winkerbean is an non-reality-based comic strip that depicts young adults as sub-moronic trolls.”

  13. Rusty

    beckoning: Tom Batiuk is the target audience for all of his jokes. Maybe his wife, too, if she can’t get out of the house quickly enough.


    I did this fantastic bit of research using the font of all evil in Batiuk’s universe….technology!!!!!


    —beckoning: Tom Batiuk is the target audience for all of his jokes. –

    My god…that means….Funky Winkerbean is….a form of masturbation????!!!!!!

  16. Epicus Doomus

    O.B. Dan: The funny thing about it is that according to the ever-morphing FW chronology, Crazy, Funky & Les are supposedly right around the same age I am! In fact, they actually graduated a few years later than I did. So even allowing for the mythical ten year Act III time leap, Harry is (as Rusty mentioned above) fondly remembering things he couldn’t possibly remember.

  17. Rusty

    Exactly, I am 52 and was the same age as Funky, et al., when the Act 3 started. Coke soda chests were well on the way out by the late 60’s when I first started paying attention to such things.

  18. Epicus Doomus

    I guess it’s just like how Harry is always fondly reminiscing about comic book titles from the 1930’s and 1940’s…he’s an elderly man trapped in the body of a rapidly-aging middle aged man.

    Coming tomorrow: Harry waxes nostalgic about gathering around the family radio to listen to the Louis/Schmeling fight.

  19. John

    Despite Tom trying to quietly retcon it, we all know Crazy was actually a child in the 60s and 70s, not the 30s and 40s. So he’d understand FULLY why a glass bottle would be considered unusual, due to rising prices and changes in safe packaging practices.

    But NO, evil stupid teenager who’s evil and stupid because he, um, asked a question.

    And yeah, considering Funky is the Landlord, why DON’T they just use the Montoni’s facilities?

    But, wait, evil technology. Mononi’s probably just packs the meat and cheese into sawdust in a darkened room. 😛

  20. Some of the folks over on Comics Curmudgeon have pointed out that Coke in glass bottles is not that difficult to find, especially if you live in an area with a strong Hispanic community and can get “Mexican Coke” at the local supermarket. So there’s another level of research fail. Of course Crazy Harry is working part-time at a comics shop to support his (theoretical?) family, so he might not have the time or the money to go indulge his little nostalgia trip. Sneering contempt, now, that doesn’t cost a penny.

  21. Professor Fate

    There was a Calvin and Hobbes strip were Calvin’s dad was talking about wooden escalators and Calvin’s internal sarcastic response was something like “boy I can hardly wait to grow up and bore people with pointless anecdotes about things from my youth”