Bull? Crap.

Link to today’s strip

History is made in the Funkyverse today as Montoni’s features an actual PAYING CUSTOMER! Yep, money and everything! Will Funky frame the bill and hang it up next to that band box thing? Does the drawer on the cash register even work? A funny touch there would have been to have Funky hold the bill up to the light to see if it’s real.

Small Town High School Extra-Curricular Activities Are A Nightmare For All Involved Month continues today as Bull hops on board the complaint train with his sad-sack-sorry little tale of woe. Poor, poor Bull has to somehow find the time to go through the motions TWICE this coming school year, first manning the helm for his perpetually horrible football team and then guiding the Summer-less (and thus irrelevant) Ladygoats during the upcoming basketball season. Oh the grim burden these gym and band teachers carry upon their shoulders (or shoulder, as the case may be). That school board should be ashamed of itself for forcing that beloved, obese and tremendously incompetent moron to do a little actual work for a change. No, I mean it…look at him. The work very well may kill him.

So does Annie only grace the girls’ basketball team with her presence when they just happen to have two all-time KSU-bound WHS legends on the squad, or was that just (ahem) a coincidence? Annie: kindly old basketball sage or spotlight-hogging front-runner? And, simply because I never run out of things to complain about with this strip, what of the boys’ basketball team?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Bull? Crap.

  1. Well, Bull’s going to attend all the games and bitch about how bad the team is doing anyway, so why shouldn’t the school board trim the fat? Figuratively speaking, of course.

  2. Why do I get the feeling Les is going to coach the girls’ team?

  3. flappy

    whats a boys basketball team ? is that even a thing in Batville ,Ohio

  4. flappy

    Montoni pizza and sportbook

  5. merrypookster

    No storyline this year about summer & K playing at KSU….that’s a real team.
    A really bad team…. actually one of the worst girls BB teams in the nation.
    Not even TB in his more lucid state can make them into a conf. champ.

  6. Sgt. Saunders

    Pretty damn easy to figure out that boy’s football exists for the sole purpose of being Tombat’s doormat. The football team is always portrayed as incompetent bumbling clods who could barely read their own numbers and are always getting hell beat out of them on the gridiron. Within three panels of the first mention of the team this year, Tombat has sold them down the river. Even Funky appears embarrassed by the vitriol served up by Bushka in P3. As for the girl’s basketball team it was once merely a vehicle to showcase Summer and Keisha, but now, who knows – probably just something for Bushka to complain about while leading both teams to galloping ruin. Watch out though – Tombat will use almost certainly the girls basketball team to make the football team appear even more worthless and ineffectual since he seems to despise male athletes. The best outcome here is for Bushka to get busted betting against his own football ‘Goats. C’mon, Funky, he’s tellin’ ya. It’s a sure thing.

  7. Bull seems so offended at Funky suggesting the football team could do remotely well, especially under his guidance. That’s the kind of hardcore self-loathing you’ll only find in Westview!

  8. sourbelly

    And why is Bull handing Funky money? He hasn’t ordered anything yet. Is there some silent, under-the-table gambling agreement between the two?

    Well, at least Bull had the class to give Funky the money with the hand he HASN’T been shoving down his pant to scratch his butt crack.


    So Bull’s master plan for multi-tasking is that one of his teams sucks at a monumental level. And this is the guy you want motivating your children.

  10. billytheskink

    The implication of this strip seems to be that the previous Westview football coach has abruptly quit, no doubt tired of Lefty constantly asking why his team was on their practice field, and that the school board is too cheap to actually try to hire a new one.
    I suppose he could have been fired, but given that Coach Stropp and Bull combined for no true winning seasons over 40 years it does not seem that the school board really cares who coaches the football team. It is more likely that the former coach caught the first bus to Milford to see the wrestling match of the century.

  11. Aside from the fact that Funky hasn’t had his own storyline in over a year (when it took him a week to name his car), it’s really time to retitle this strip. Might I suggest “Complainers” and have it run right alongside “Pluggers”?

  12. John

    Funky: “Wait, hasn’t it been years since you were actually a coach. Shouldn’t you actually have coaches working for you?”

    Bull: “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about We’re cash strapped! Lay-offs! Evil, stupid voters! Levy! By the way, do that weird, unnatural marionette pose with your arms.”

    Funky: “This one?”

    Bull: “Damn, that makes you look like you belong on a THUNDERBIRDS episode. Heh.”

    Funky: *fumes*

    Bull: “Anyway, you -know- that only five, maybe six teachers work at Westview.”

    Funky: “Somehow, that’s never made sense.”

    Bull: “Neither does a fifty year old man who looks eighty and runs the only viable business in an entire city.”

    Funky: “Touche.”


    –Might I suggest “Complainers” and have it run right alongside “Pluggers”?–

    Funky already has the Bear-Man’s physique, so why not.

  14. apauled

    “The implication of this strip seems to be that the previous Westview football coach has abruptly quit”

    Maybe he died, probably of cancer.

  15. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Is Bull offering to pay for Funky’s ticket to a football game lately, just to prove his point that the football team sucks?

  16. Bull has the easiest job in town as athletic director of a high school with no budget for sports and coach of one team, so it’s natural that he would gripe about having to coach TWO teams. Christ, what an asshole.

  17. PolarBeat

    “What if the football team makes it to the playoffs?” I thought the term was “playdowns” in the Funkyverse.