Despica-Bull Me

Many thanks to Epicus Doomus for the last couple weeks of posts! Tune in tomorrow as Beckoning Chasm begins a two-week guest stint!


In a dark and deserted Jack Stropp Memorial Stadium, Coach Bull Bushka delivers the unhappy recap following the Scapegoats’ first game, and hence first loss, of the season.

Epicus Doomus
August 22, 2013 at 11:16 pm
…These WHS-themed strips are just the worst. He puts almost no effort into them at all anymore, they only exist out of some sense of “tradition”, I would guess.

And tradition holds that in these post-game interviews, the reporter serves as straight man, setting up Bull’s non-sequitur punchlines. But Bull, forced back into the head coach position while continuing to coach girls’ hoops and serve as Westview’s AD, can express only his utter resignation and despair.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

10 responses to “Despica-Bull Me

  1. Rick Brooks

    When is the last time anyone saw a high school football coach wearing a necktie during practice or a game?

  2. Rusty

    So ends another week of suck. I guess Batiuk couldn’t find a vintage comic book cover he could plagiarize and somehow twist into a Bull storyline. Hack.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Who’s Bull kidding with his sad-sack-sorry loser routine? The guy has the best job in town. He only works a few months out of the year and he never gets fired despite decades of total incompetence and abject failure. Boy Lisa would kill for that job.

    Of course we know that Batom is trying to satirize those annoying postgame football coach interviews here (I find it strange when he does satire in Act III) but really it just comes across as being kind of sad and depressing. There’s poor sad-sack Bull, forever paying eternal penance for his misdeeds of the past, the stench of failure emenating from his slouching, obese body like the stink from a freshly-squished skunk on the highway. Another sad hopeless defeat in a sad hopeless career in a sad hopeless life, his increasing wrinkles like a road atlas of a completely meaningless existence, forever going nowhere while not particularly caring either way. Just hilarious.

  4. Misfortune is a staple of comedy. It’s great running gag material. Donald Duck was Disney’s most popular character for a good while, and his Golden Age ‘toons were almost entirely based around bad things happening to him.

    But it doesn’t work everywhere. We can laugh at Donald because his reactions are so outrageous he only makes things worse for himself. We can laugh at Charlie Brown’s baseball games because his innocence and perseverance undercut the misery.

    In Westview, everyone’s already given up. They’re already miserable, so in addition to being redundant, it’s also incredibly one-dimensional.

    I could go on for hours, pretending that I’m talking to Tom Batuik.

  5. Gyre

    Screw the old guy (actually no, he deserves no pleasant feelings for the rest of his life).

    He just outright said on camera (possibly to be aired in the news) that his team sucks and that he thinks it will never get better. This wasn’t him privately mocking the team to make them hate his guts and strive to prove him wrong. This was him putting them down just because he’s unhappy and selfishly ignoring his own lack of actual effort to help the team before now.

    And remember that these are teenage boys. If that interview airs anyone else want to bet that at least one of the team will be jumping in front of a train in a week’s time?

    And now my rant:

    THIS is why I HATE what Funky Winkerbean has turned into. I KNOW that Batiuk had some ability to write at one point or other. He just has not used it for years. Instead what we get are disturbing implications, failures of logic, contrived situations to include more of Lisa, an utter inability to actually connect with modern youth and a constant barrage of mean old people that we can’t connect or sympathize with.

    It’s like my rage at Miller. Somewhere in there was once a writer to admire. They just devolved into an unlikable mess.

  6. bobanero

    HaHa – It’s funny because the team sucks and the coach doesn’t give a shit!!

  7. Rusty

    Here in the real world, the local news broadcasts devote about 5 minutes at the end of the night to sports results. There may be a couple highlights of a local suburban high school game, and a listing of scores. I have only seen a winning coach interviewed after winning a state championship. No one anywhere spends time interviewing a losing high school coach after a regular season game.

  8. Sgt. Saunders

    I can’t imagine a sorrier excuse for a coach. The AD should climb about two foot up…oh yeah, Coach Fuckhead is the AD. That kind of attitude, expressed in such a public forum, has likely removed whatever scintilla of motivation the team might have been able to muster. It’s really inexcusable and not at all funny. Those kids just spent Friday evening getting hell beat out of them – real physical punishment – and this is the thanks they get. Even in his drunkest moments, Gil Thorp would never betray his team like that, and Kaz may still make a special appearance to punch “coach” silly. Les, too, while Kaz is in town.
    By the way, that announcer/reporter is Lisa – just look at the first throwaway panel.

  9. Those dead eyes of Bull in the fourth panel – *shudder.*

  10. IF he was fired, Batiuk would be unable to see this as being Bull’s fault. Just like when Funky was forced to close down a lot of his pizza chains.