ESP…(ZZZZZZZZ)

Link to today’s strip

It took me a second to decipher this one, then I rued losing the precious second of my ever-shortening life I just foolishly wasted on that truly idiotic joke. The Scapegoats are so woefully uneducated and stupid that they fail to realize their coach is a brainless buffoon, instead choosing to believe that perhaps the other team is using “extra-sensory” powers to discern the Goats “game plan”, as it were. As if Coach Bushka’s “game plan” involved anything more than frustrated eye-rolling and exasperated put-downs. And pizza…lots and lots of pizza. But you already knew that last part, amirite?

Sticking with that theme, perhaps the Goats are just not properly motivated Westviewian-style. Maybe during their next game he could have an (unpaid) assistant stand in the end zone with a Montoni’s pie and a stack of old comic books from the pre-WWII era. I’d bet you that would light a fire under Bull’s pathetic squad, right?

29 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

29 responses to “ESP…(ZZZZZZZZ)

  1. John

    Bull: “Bah! I knew an evil, stupid teenager like you would mention evil, modern technology!”

    Owen: “Whoa. Why am I on this team of Bully Jocks?!? Anyway, cable television isn’t exactly modern. It’s been around since the 1940s! And themed channels since the 1970s!”

    Bull: “…*…it has? No it hasn’t! Has it? W…well, you’re still being evil by making lame word play!”

    Owen: “Um, you do it all the time.’

    Bull: “EVIL, STUPID TEENAGER!”

    ***************************

    Seriously, though. Has Tom’s intense aversion to creating new characters resulted in him now using Cody and Owen as FOOTBALL PLAYERS?!?

    Hoo boy, the new football season is looking grimmer all the time. o_o

  2. I have to confess, I’m not much of a sports fan, though I do see a fair amount of on TV it when I’m at the gym. One odd thing that struck me was that when ESPN broadcasts little league games, you can hear everything the coaches tell the players over their headset mikes. I asked the parent of a local team’s player, “What’s to prevent the other team from buying a little TV and listening to all this stuff?” So maybe Tom Batiuk and I thought the same thing…which is one scary thought.

    I do find it amusing that this player thinks the Westview team is worthy of being featured on national television…but then I forget: there is no world outside of Westview. Only the cornfield.

  3. flappy

    the football team has about 1/10th the girls basketball , only in battyville , an the so called art in panel 3 is even bad for batack

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Actually, this jock might be light-years ahead of his Westviewian peers — He recognizes 4 letters of the alphabet vs. only 3.

  5. flappy

    i mean 1/10th the fans

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Marching bands, kids in marching bands, football, kids who play football…no one’s safe from that renowned caustic Batom Inc. wit.

    These WHS-themed strips are just the worst. He puts almost no effort into them at all anymore, they only exist out of some sense of “tradition”, I would guess. I mean go back and re-read the last two weeks of this thing and tell me he put more than 90 seconds, tops, into the dialog.

  7. flappy

    wow John ,that is Owen , tommy needs to draw chulo on helmet so we can keep up

  8. merrypookster

    Remember when Darin had a 1/2 sister and friends?

  9. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    That referee is breaking the 4th wall and practically beseeching us the reader for help out of this stupid strip. Hey buddy we all feel for you at Son of Stuck Funky…but we haven’t been able to improve this comic strip despite all our combined snarking. Regrettably, your God is as unkind as he is untalented.

  10. Rusty

    This shit blows. It may be the gin talking, but man.

  11. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    In less than five minutes I came up with this new punchline without the use of pun humor. tell me what you guys think.

    Panel 1: “I don’t know what it is coach?”
    Panel 2: “But they seem to know what we’re going to run, before I even call the play!”
    Panel 3 “it’s like they’re using the Konami Code in Madden!!!

  12. Never mind that the QB looks inexplicably like Owen! The referee in panel 2 is the greatest character in FW history, far better than the sentient school computer or Les’s machine gun!

    At first, the face looks as though it is reacting with disdain to the conversation going on in the background, but the distance would make that inexplicable. No, that’s the world-weary grimace of a man thinking this: So it’s come to this. I am refereeing a Westview football game. What have I done to my life?

    And that’s explicable.

  13. John

    Hilarious, oddnoc.

    Yeah, I hope Sour, Burnt Out Referee becomes a recurring character.

  14. Epicus Doomus

    Yeah, that ref looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. I know the feeling.

  15. sourbelly

    Hmmm, a shifty-eyed referee. Maybe the Scapegoats are a good team and Bull knows what the fuck he’s doing! It’s all a conspiracy by some evil-doers at the Ohio High School Referee Council who are jealous of the world-shattering success of Westview’s favorite son, Les Moore!

  16. Can we please get some context for Owen and Cody on the football team? Peer pressure, trying to look masculine, zany scheme to win a girl… sure, those are all lame storylines, but they’d be better set up than a fat old man telling cheerleaders who they can flirt with.

  17. Sgt. Saunders

    I’m about as excited by this strip as the old woman in P3.

  18. bobanero

    I don’t understand it, coach. It’s only the tenth time this quarter we’ve run the double-reverse end around!! Anyway, the ESP-N pun is a Crankshaft-level groaner, and I wouldn’t at all be surprised if it’s already been used before in that strip.

  19. Helskor

    Inkwell, the narrative context for the Cody-ish player is that Batiuk can’t be arsed to draw new characters anymore (except for Depressed Ref, perhaps).

  20. Aren’t coaches as least partially responsible for play calling? More proof that Bull needs to look for the causes of failure in a mirror…

  21. billytheskink

    While I’m not opposed to comic strips retelling jokes, the ESP-ESPN one (seen here in Mean Girls, perhaps it’s most notable appearance) was never really all that good to begin with.

    Proposed improvements-

    Owen?: I don’t know what it is coach… but they seem to know what we’re going to run before I even call the play!
    Owen?: It’s like they have Fox Sports 1 or something #topicalhumor!

    Owen?: I don’t know what it is coach… but they seem to know what we’re going to run before I even call the play!
    Owen?: Maybe you should come up with a better signal for run off-tackle right than yelling “run off-tackle right”…

    Owen?: I don’t know what it is coach… but they seem to know what we’re going to run before I even call the play!
    Owen?: It’s like they chose the same play we did in Tecmo Super Bowl.

    QB Scapegoats: Ready! Down! Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut…
    Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack: DoDeDoDe DoDeDoDoDoDeDo…
    Tecmo Super Bowl Soundtrack: Dada Dada Dada DuDa (the sack music)

  22. I can’t believe I’m the first to notice this…but Owen has changed his shirt between panel one and panel three. Look–in the first it’s a number, in the second there’s WESTVIEW right across the top.

  23. Comics Kingdom Reader

    Excuse me, but are any of you NATIONALLY SYNDICATED CARTOONISTS? Because unless you are, I think you’re being just a bunch of hidebound literalist pedantic beady-eyed nitpickers!

    Anyway, this arc is about important issues having young people so it has a lot of potential! The inking in it is no worse than in other strips.

    Anyway, the fact that you dare to mock it proves that you hate stroke victims and think cancer is funny. Sickos!

    Owen is my favorite character. You should give him a chance! And anyway, none of you are NATIONALLY SYNDICATED CARTOONISTS!!!!!!111!!!!!!11111!!!!ONE!

  24. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    –Excuse me, but are any of you NATIONALLY SYNDICATED CARTOONISTS?—-

    How do you know that? I’ll have you know that I am really Gary Trudeau in real life!

  25. Professor Fate

    Ha. Ha. It’s funny becuase young people are idiots. To quote Tom Sevro – “kill me now. Please.”

  26. @Beckoning: I hang my head in shame for not seeing the shirt change! In the main, I stand in line!

  27. Now here is an ESPN joke:

  28. Epicus Doomus

    Do people even SAY “ESP” anymore? I remember it being quite the fad in the 1970’s, but now I hear “paranormal” more often.

    And the jersey error, egads…is ANYONE at Batom Inc. World HQ paying ANY attention?

  29. bad wolf

    How could Owen be in band and on the team? Aren’t they mutually exclusive? Like, would he have to jump up, change uniforms, and start playing sax during halftime?