October 2013 – Son of Stuck Funky

Hold The Mayo

While I’m not 100% sure about this, I believe this “I Chong” was an pre-Lisa Act I bit he used to do semi-regularly as a way to squeeze more of his famous bad puns and awful wordplay in there despite there being no storyline reason to do so. I remember it vaguely, sort of, I guess, but not anything specific about it. And the gag holds up about as well as you’d expect a forty year old gag to hold up, which is to say not at all. I don’t think I’ve heard a Mayo Clinic gag since Johnny Carson retired.

So not only is Funky not helping Holly at all, but he’s going to get squiggles all over the back of his favorite Montoni’s shirt and end up tracking even more squiggles throughout the house. Nice going there, fatso.

Jury-Rigged Plot Device

So today the huge Holly/Cory comic book caper mega-arc more or less “officially” begins! Yes, the seemingly-eternal wait is at long last finally over! Cory’s looking snazzy with his new “military spec” haircut…a lot sharper than his mom, who apparently gets her hair done at a lesbian barber college for the blind. No offense to blind lesbians intended, of course.

BatTom does a nice job capturing the look of FaceToFacebook’s layout, especially for someone who openly hates that dadgummed “technology” crap as much as he does. He also does a nice job capturing Cory’s sudden eyebrow injury in panel three, although I have no doubt that modern medicine (featuring technology!) can at least try to repair them so Cory can resume at least a somewhat “normal” life when he (inevitably) returns to Westview to a) work at WHS, b) work at Montoni’s or c) work at the Korner.

Not too long ago, The Grand Finale was a frequent topic around these parts (TGF being how TB decides to end FW). My present working theory is that Cory, who will escape the military mostly unscathed, will return home a “fine young man” who will begin dating and eventually marry (ugh) Westview’s resident “fine young woman”, thus bringing the Moores and Winkerbeans together at long last in a sort of unholy alliance of wry smirking, rapid aging and sudden weight gain which will culminate in the birth of Lisa Jr. on Xmas Day, at which point our collective heads will explode and SoSF will cease to exist. My back-up theory is that nothing whatsoever will happen, which is definitely far more likely.

At Least He Avoided Camp Custer

Today’s strip

Some history-centric humor from TB today. Well, in fairness, “humor” is relative. But you all know what I mean. It’d seem to be that “Camp Alamo” would be a perfect place for a FW cast member, as bravely staring down death in the face of insurmountable odds is sort of what FW is all about. Except for the “bravely” part, of course.

The Anti-Social Network

Today’s strip

TB’s flagrant abuse of registered trademarks continues unabated today, as do Funky’s witless insights into this newfangled “computers” thing everyone’s always talking about. “Holly and Cory”…remember that, kids, because it’s going to be relevant real soon! I wonder how long that “face to Facebook” gag was clanging around in that delightfully pointy little head of his?

Check out Rachel in panel one, I have no idea what that particular little sidewards glance is supposed to indicate, but whatever it is I don’t like the looks of it. And panel three is a Batominc masterpiece, with Funky’s wry nonchalance and Rachel’s bemused background tilty-headed smirk. I would imagine that’s how every Montoni’s conversation unfolds (and I bet the visual evidence would back me up on that, too).

Adults Only

Today’s strip

So Halloween Week begins with Rachel helpfully reminding the readers that the detested and largely-forgotten Cory is still in the army, toiling away in Afghanistan (which as you know is no place for a FW character to be). Meanwhile, the World’s Youngest Elderly Person crabbily takes a shot at Facebook (registered trademark, BTW), declaring it to be no more than mere child’s play. Although in this case I can’t say I really blame him, as if I was in his position I wouldn’t especially want to remember Cory either.

Perhaps Boy Lisa could use his technological skill set to create a Westviewians-only social network (SmirkBook??). There could be a “bemused” button instead of “like” and the “friends” list would become “people I grudgingly tolerate”. And instead of profile pics you’d post a scan of your medical history. It’d be the perfect place for posting pizza sales, obituaries, new arrivals at the Korner, Lisa videos, weather forecasts for charity runs and band contests and such. Don’t be afraid of the technology, ~~Tom~~ Funky… embrace it.