Month: October 2013

Multi-Failing

Today’s strip

Nope, it’s not TFH, you’re stuck with your faithful old pal Epicus for another fun-filled week! And based on the header pic, it’s going to be one hell of an arc, possibly featuring multiple views of Funky’s enormous freak ass as he hangs Halloween decorations! Trick or treat in-deed!

131027Man, TheAuthor really outdid himself with this drawing. A broken, exhausted Bull is just dripping with shame, fatigue and defeat while Linda doesn’t even try to hide her weary disgust and indifferent disdain while blurting out her usual meaningless platitudes. And not only does it come completely out of left field, but it’s crammed into a completely unrelated comic book cover tribute too, floating there like the proverbial turd in a punchbowl. I guess “sports” was supposed to be the “common theme” here but man, that’s a pretty f*cking tenuous connection.

Your Difference May Vary

Today’s strip

Bull decided NOW would be a good time to start making a difference? Oh well, I guess those kids he “educated” over the course of the last twenty (or whatever) years were just plain f*cked, eh? What a totally preposterous and embarrassingly lazy way to end this pointless and incredibly stupid arc. It’s just an amazingly dumb thing for the Bull character to say, especially when you consider that he’s done the “reformed former bully who learned to care” bit with Bull a dozen times at a minimum through the years. Just laughably poor, shabby, lazy and witless.

So what did we actually learn this week? One, if you’re a weirdo, a giant wuss or any combination thereof, keep the camera rolling when bullies attack. Two, if you’re a bully, check for cameras BEFORE the shakedown. Three, TomBat still has the remarkable ability to throw a random Les drawing in there once in a while that makes me hate the character even more, which shouldn’t be possible. Look at that face in panel three, the smugness oozing from every pixel with the leaves fluttering around his repulsive head as he smirks at his inferior, simplistic yet lovable old pal in that condescendingly annoying way of his. What a dick.

Ironic Punishment Indeed

Today’s strip

Poor Wedgeman, you hate to see a kid throw away his eighth year of high school over getting involved with illegal laxatives like that. A kid’s fourth senior year should be the highlight of their young life. When will these kids today learn that there’s no chemical solution for a dietary problem? And not only is Wedgeman disappointing himself, but he’s also letting down his teammates who he’s no doubt established quite a rapport with after starting for the Goats since 2005 or so. Their next 43-7 loss just won’t be the same without him.

I love Wedgeman’s surprised expression, as if he had no idea there might be repercussions after being filmed while stealing drugs from that middle-aged woman that hangs around the cafeteria sometimes. And I likewise love Bull’s expression in panel three, as if not allowing Wedgeman to pay-to-play on the worst high school football team in the state is some sort of cruel merciless death blow of pain, shame and regret. Just think…THAT was the toughest punishment Nate and Bull could dream up. And they wonder why these kids are in high school for what seems like seven years at a time. The school’s other bullies must surely be trembling in blind naked fear right now.

Candid Crap-ola

Today’s strip

Ahhh-haaa! I knew Owen was up to something with the way he was holding that phone all suspiciously the other day. Now he has all the evidence Principal Nate needs to put a stop to the big Metamucil theft ring that’s plaguing WHS. These kids today and their regular bowel movements, I’ll tell you what. I just hope there’s something in the Big WHS Student Handbook about bullying being banned because if there isn’t, poor Owen is f*cked once Wedgemen discovers he filmed him without expressed written or verbal consent.

Coming tomorrow: Nate consults the Big WHS Student Handbook and discovers there’s no rule against using and/or stealing Metamucil (or any fiber-based supplements or laxatives) on school grounds. Nate angrily dismisses a confused (redundant, I know) Owen from his office, telling him he’s tired of this shit. After realizing it’s another awful Batom pun, everyone groans in disgust and vows to stop reading FW forever, only to read it again the next day.

A Little “Backed-Up”

Today’s strip

Congrats to those who selected “something really stupid” in yesterday’s poll! If you selected “non-prescription drugs”, yeah, you’re technically correct too, I suppose. If you selected “prescription drugs” I’m sorry but you lose. That kind of reckless drug abuse might fly over at Mary Worth or Dilbert or whatever, but recreational drug use has no place in this comic strip. It just has too much potential to be interesting.

I would have assumed that Imodium was the OTC drug of choice for the average Westviewian, given their typical all-Montoni’s diets, but I suppose all that unsanitarily-made pizza could indeed have….uh…the “opposite” effect, as they say. This will conclude any and all speculation re: Alex’s (or any other FW character for that matter) colonic issues. A disturbing mental image, to say the least. At least we know where Wedgeman will be for the next several hours, but how happy he may or may not be remains to be seen. On the plus side, if he’s also on the WHS wrestling team he shouldn’t have too much trouble making weight this week.

Coming tomorrow: the evil Wedgeman doesn’t stop at fiber, also shaking Alex down for her blood pressure monitor, her walker and her AARP prescription card as a befuddled Owen looks on stupidly as usual.