Just Say (Oh) No

Today’s strip

All day I’ve been wondering what TomBat had in store for us this week and not even for a second did I ever consider the possibility of an Alex arc, much less one that involves (GASP!!!!) drugs. I can’t say that I remember this deviant Anon-O-Goon’s name or if he even has one, but henceforth I will refer to him as George as a sort of tribute to his special “WHAM!” sound efffect. So George saw Alex eating a few pills after lunch and automatically assumed they were recreational drugs, which, in his defense, is a reasonable assumption given where she lives, where she goes to school, who she hangs out with and so on. But in any event, instead of politely inquiring about the possibility of procuring a taste for himself, George angrily threatens Alex, demanding her stash right there and then. The nerve of him! At least offer to trade her one of your cyanide caps (aka Westviewian Prozac), dude.

UPDATE: Is that supposed to be Wedgeman, WHS’ resident bully? I guess it is, my bad. Wasn’t Wedgeman a senior last year, back when he was terrorizing Owen and Cody? Oh well, perhaps that trivia will all be clarified at the funeral after his overdose.

21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Just Say (Oh) No

  1. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    (Cue Superman music) Never fear…Jared the Super Star QB is here!!!!….or rather will be here in..oh…tomorrow’s strip…or maybe Friday’s. Depends how long Batiuk want’s to drag this shit out.

    I mean that’s really what has to happen here, right? Jared as the loner that protects the geeks from the sportos?

    Because the only other possibilities are a godawful anti-drug plotline that nobody wants to endure!!!

    Either that or Batiuk’s moving to diabetes or gastric reflux as his new diseases for exploitation.

  2. Rusty

    My assumption would be adderall or some other stimulant kids with ADHD take. Of course, they have to go to the nurse’s office to get and take it, they can’t just swallow it down in the cafeteria. Fail.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    I can hardly wait for Act IV, when Wedgeman is a kindly, obese and rather dimwitted coach at WHS who will spin us a retcon tale about the time he helped his dear old pals Alex and Owen hide their dope from those mean bully drug-os, probably while moonlighting as an unqualified physical therapist.

  4. Oh goody, what Serious Medical Condition is Alex going to be a poster girl for? And will Les be able to score another book deal and charity run out of it?

  5. flappy

    goody ,Bathacks going to have new arc about something he knows nothing about (human beings )

  6. Add this to the list of things the Dark Lord of Medina has not researched. HS students have been suspended for bringing tylenol to school, and how stoned would someone have to be to take illegal drugs in full view of everyone? But in Westview, a mere 1/4″ from reality, anything goes. Someone needs to start a betting pool – what serious health problem does Alex the Goth Girl suffer from? Depression? Type 2 diabetes? Cancer caused by too much black hair dye?

  7. Gyre

    Note that even if he’s right, and those are controlled substances she’s using, he is still loudly and openly demanding drugs in the middle of the cafeteria. Where there are presumably hundreds of students around.

  8. Helskor

    @Flummoxicated- based on how she’s drawn, I’m betting on hot flashes.

  9. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    This is just dying for a poll. So guys what do you think Alex’s mystery pills will be. I’m voting diabetic medicine.

  10. I’ll vote for Adderall.

  11. billytheskink

    Huh. Apparently I could have been making stacks of cash instead of becoming a Ritalin success story, had I grown up in Westview…

  12. jp

    Yes, because when I spot someone taking a pill, at the same time every day, and making so little effort to conceal the action that it can be spotted across a room full of hundreds of people, I automatically assume said pills are highly controlled illegal substances! Woo hoo!

  13. Smirks 'R Us

    I’ll go with Chemo in pill form, or Plan B.

  14. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Altoids. Wedgman’s an idiot.

  15. A HREF

    @beckoning

    That made me laugh harder than anything Batuik has done since the first time jump.

  16. I’m guessing it’s a heart medication that she has to take every 24 hour.

  17. Epicus Doomus

    Given the advanced age of some of these WHS students, she could be taking anything from arthritis meds to Alzheimer’s pills. But, before the speculation runs all amok, remember FW Rule One: if it seems too entertaining and/or complicated for a FW arc, it definitely is. LCD = “lamest common denominator”.

  18. Back on Saturday’s thread, @Paul demonstrates how insensitive and tone-deaf Batominc is:

    I just went through a marching band invitational sponsored by my daughter’s high school, and the band parents were committed to running the thing all day long so their kids could have that experience. Band parents are the best. They would sit in the rain for their kids and they are not idiots for doing it.

    @beckoning hits it out of the park again!

  19. I got it! She’s transgender and she’s taking treatments for an upcoming sex-change surgery. That way Batiuk can screw that up royally.

  20. Charles

    But, before the speculation runs all amok, remember FW Rule One: if it seems too entertaining and/or complicated for a FW arc, it definitely is.

    Which means that the pills Alex is taking won’t be identified at all. He’ll just punt on that question and the entire story will suffer because its exclusion will keep everything vague and require broad assumptions on the part of readers to make any sense.