Month: October 2013

Drown in the Water

Today’s strip

Sky cracks open, walls falling to the floor
Just as well to keep it, a guessing game in store
You’re with me now, will be again
All other points in between
And the cruel, cruel mornings
Have turned to days of swim or sink
If living right is easy, what goes wrong
You’re causing it to drown
Didn’t want to turn that way
You’re causing it to drown
Doesn’t make a difference now
You’re causing it to drown
—Son Volt, Drown

Owen: I’d sure like to know how this could get any worse!

The Universe: Request granted. It’s worse. Like you didn’t see that coming.

And the sad thing is, now we’ll never get to experience the epic love story of Owen and Cody. Not because they’ve literally drowned in the rain, but because our favorite auteur hasn’t got the literary or artistic chops.

Slowly She Turned

Today’s strip

Slowly she turns, inch by inch, step by step, until her bullhorn is right in Owen’s scruffy face.

She fingers the switch on the bullhorn’s handle. Owen can almost taste the liniment she spreads on her stump. She takes a breath, and yells into the microphone:

Niagara Falls!!

Then…

The sky is ripped open and the rain pours through a gaping wound, pelting the women and children—pelting the women and children—who run—who run—into the arms of Ohio.—almost U2

Put Out, Rain

Today’s strip

Huh. Old Harry Dinkle is here. Good old Harry Dinkle, once the Greatest Band Director on Earth, now retired, is hanging out with his successor, the Greatest One-Armed Band Director on Earth. It’s probably quite useful for Becky to have constant access to Harry’s wealth of knowledge, experience, and wisdom. It’s quite a favor old Harry’s doing for the much younger woman.

I wonder what he expects from her in return.

Pun With a Chance of Horror

Today’s strip

So, it’s Battle of the Bands Gets Rained On season! Woo hoo!

I can’t really muster the enthusiasm required to express shock that today’s strip features a lame pun. I would have, but our auteur decided to have the punster ask if his audience got it. Get it? Batominc, you sucked all the humor out of your own comic strip by belaboring the point. Get it? You won’t show us any real action at the Legacy Run, but this you’ll pound into the earth.

It’s like you took a joke and repeated it until you got hoarse. Talk about beating a dead horse! Get it? Hoarse—horse? I slay me!

Detail of Becky’s deformed face OK, so panels 1 & 2 were boring. Let’s move on to panel three. Ah! The horror! Oh! The humanity! The woman in the magenta dress has smirked so hard that she developed a severe Tessier 7 facial cleft. (Note to the squeamish: do not do a web search for that phrase.)

Whew

Today’s strip

My fellow snarkers have beat me to the punch on this one. Whew indeed! I might add, wow.

Look at Cayla’s face in the panel where she’s thinking “If Lisa were here?” and the following, “Whew!” panel! Yes, gaze upon Tom Batiuk’s vision of a woman.

She is weak, dim-witted, and worthless on her own. Only her relationship to Les Moore enables any worth to devolve upon her. She is the luckiest woman on earth to have hooked up with the greatest auteur the world has ever known.

Feh.