Put Off

Link to today’s strip

Perhaps the sounds you’re hearing are from a mass zombie outbreak, in which millions of the newly-risen dead thirst for the flesh of the living.  Perhaps it’s an asteroid, howling through the air on its way to smite us.  Could be, but I think that if you listen carefully you’ll discover that you’ve been screaming for a long, long time.

I know what some (initials “TB”) might say: that the elderly have a perfect right to enjoy an active sex life.  And I wouldn’t argue with that–what I would argue with is the depiction or the implication.  There are a lot of biological processes that people do that are perfectly natural.

It’s just that we don’t have to watch them doing those perfectly natural biological processes, or read about how they’re just itching to do them.   How many times have you seen characters in a comic strip use the restroom, for example?

–I’ve just given Tom Batiuk an idea, haven’t I?  I am so, so sorry, everyone.

UPDATE:  As Epicus points out in the comments, this was wrong when Frankie did it, right?

Gasp!  Shock!

With the tiniest edit, we can indeed make this even creepier–

Poor John Candy


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

36 responses to “Put Off

  1. firedmyass



  2. Congratulations TB, you just made Harry Dinkle sound like Charlie Sheen.

  3. Harry’s feelin’ hot to trot! Must be the sight of Harriet dressed in that burlap sack!

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Bleh, this arc just went from “annoying” to “annoyingly harrowing” in one fell swoop. The massage one was bad but this one actually induces queasiness. So Dinkle likes to joke around about coercing sex from his wife, does he? But…but…the Frankie mega-arc taught us that was wrong, didn’t it? Now I’m confused…

    And Harry is STILL gloating about throwing this sub-mediocre “low-ball” party together! As I suspect he will all week long. Obviously he’s going for “aren’t the elderly SO cute?” thing here, but all he’s really doing is once again re-affirming Dinkle’s world-class dick status. Point made.

  5. merrypookster

    “Put Out?”
    Like…Who put the Dogs out?
    And those pink cup-cakes…. put those out.
    CK should put us all out (of our suffering) by canning Tom Batiuk…and that horse Ayers he rode in on.

  6. J.R. Clark

    “When I do something like this for a woman, I expect her to put out!”
    -sounds more like Frankie the Rapist to me. Batyuck must be experiencing Alzheimer’s.

  7. If the suggestiveness had been a little more sweet or mutually teasing, it wouldn’t have been quite so bad (I’m not saying I’d want to read it over my morning cereal, but still). But after a week of Harry bellyaching “all this doing something for another person is so haaaaaaard!” followed up with today’s “Yeah, you’d better show your appreciation when we’re alone together, woman!”–even if it’s said in jest–adds a layer of repulsiveness to the whole thing that really sends it into horrifying territory.

  8. Guest Page Turner Author

    Holy Shit, I could never imagined that it would be this horrible! Just when I think that he’s hit a new low discussing Comic History, and the “Shield the Children!” obscene Crazy Dance, and melodramatic stroke where Prncpl Jff whithers away, and then the horrible Dead Lisa screenplay (I can’t imagine how you feel, but I’ll always be there for you or some such trite) and Les thinks its great writing then Bio-dad shows up to make a reality show and the only thing real about it is that it really stinks and then jogger girl pees in a bush and……

    Holy crap, that sentence was like something might have casually uttered at a Montoni’s surprise 50th Anniversary party! Sorry, folks.

    Today’s strip is hands down the worst ever!

  9. DOlz

    “When I do something nice like this for a woman”????? What the hell is his idea of normal behavior? Giving her anesthesia before the lobotomy that she had sometime in the past.

    No Harry this wasn’t even close to being nice. This didn’t even make a half assed attempt at nice, decent, or considerate of someone that has put up with you for 50 plus years.

  10. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Dinkle’s lewd statement is made all the more harrowing by the suggestion in Panel 1 that, not only was it filmed for posterity, but the camera might continue to roll as he seals the deal.

  11. Rusty

    This is really horrible and off-putting. It could actually be pulled from some papers, if any editors bothered to read it.

  12. Epicus Doomus

    The reader is supposed to “love” the Dinkle character because he’s not acting like his usual, completely self-absorbed self for once, but in actuality all he’s done is bellyache and gloat about it since day one, so he really still is in character with the cranky old narcissistic jerk we’ve all come to know and hate over the course of Act III. He’s basking in the limelight, taking pride in (seemingly) not being a neglectful asshole for a change, making it all about him as usual. This is our “hero” Dinkle: a wildly ego-driven, crude, cackling weirdo who only a small handful of people can tolerate, who frequents massage parlors and demands recognition for not being a dick even as he’s being one.

    Wow, based on that description, I should, in theory, like the guy. Yet I don’t. The Batom Paradox strikes again.

  13. Guest Page Turner Author

    Is that their daughter Halle filming The Dinkles dinkling it in front of the cupcakes? I think it is!

    Extra nauseating.

    And what is this, the 1900’s? “I bought you dinner, now you gotta put out” mentality.

    I work with the geriatric population for a living. No way are her breasts that high, and now way his balls aren’t sagging halfway down his thighs. Not to mention the ED at that age. Little blue pills or not, it’s enough to send Halle back across the river to West Virginia.

  14. You remember that bit in “On Golden Pond” when Henry Fonda asked Katharine Hepburn “Do you want to dance, or would you rather just suck face?”

    Cute when Fonda asks it as a question. Creepy when Dinkle issues it as a demand.

  15. “When I do anything nice for any woman, I expect sex! Lots of sex! But why exclude? Same for men! …I guess the only way to preserve this marriage is to be a raging jackass to everyone.”

  16. S.P. Charles

    Even putting aside the cringeworthy aspect of this… unless I’m missing something, he arranged for a bunch of people who live in the same town to meet up in the pizzeria where they take a majority of their meals anyway. This is something any normal person can set up in maybe 5 minutes.

  17. Rasmus

    Hmm, I’m gonna give that line a shot this weekend at the club.

  18. Today’s reality-based episode depicting contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner: After 50 years of marriage, Harry proffers Harriet a pile of cupcakes and a brusque demand for sex.

    Never mind how—um—heartwarming this lovely scene might be; it leaves me with a big question having to do with the cake. Yes, the cake! Recovering wino and occasional waster of perfectly good vodka and orange juice Funky Winkerbean had one job—one job—in this little party scheme: to accept delivery of the cake. Notice the definite article and singular noun! And what do we have instead of the cake? A pile of generic cupcakes from Costco or Walmart. Heckuva job, Funky!

    Now where’d I put that barrel of mind bleach?

  19. Jimmy

    When I saw the strips on this site the last two days, I thought BeckoningChasm had filled them with alt text. Sure as shit, these are as TB intended. I’m dumbfounded.

  20. Wow…I really can’t believe these young adults and this contemporary issue. No, really…I can’t.

  21. Helskor

    Considering what you spent on this “nice” event, I think the tongue action (gaak!) in panel one is all you’re getting tonight, Harry.


    –many times have you seen characters in a comic strip use the restroom–

    Oddly enough, Bloom County used to do it quite frequently. I think he depicted the modern toilet more than any artist in history. Just another reason why Berkeley Breathed is my hero.

  23. billytheskink

    Way to make this strip almost darkly humorous: a 3rd panel where Dinkle glances back at Halle and says “Uh… nevermind.”

    On second thought, somebody get me some help. I’m trying to think of ways to improve FW strips.

  24. OT, but the Official Funky Winkerbean homepage is weirded out. It’s the “Act II Flashback” with act III characters, and nothing else.

  25. Sgt. Saunders

    I first encountered today’s strip at the Comics Curmudgeon website and thought that somehow, one of the SOSF crowd had actually infiltrated the Syndicate and added the 8th grade level humor delivered in the money panel. I hurried over here to find the the strip was original and Tombat had actually had Dinkle use the crude term “put out”. WTF? How can a Batboy character, one of the “heroes” of the strip be so thoughtless and cruel apart from an overriding notion that he is somehow superior and anything his majesty utters is A-OK. That last panel is wrong on so many levels – every woman he does something this nice for is expected to give him the sex. The cruelty of the “every woman” implication envelopes Harriet like a shit-mist. Further, and adding to his crude arrogance, is the idea that an array of greasy pizzas at the restaurant everyone goes to all the goddam time, Sousa marches on the juke box and a crowd of hangers-on could ever be described as “this nice.” All Dinkle has to to is say the words every woman wants to hear – Put Out – and, bada bing, he’s getting his baton polished. Gahhhh! I have to say that this strip ranks right up there with Les’ “Dancing With Himself” New Year’s strip as one of the worst, most cringe-worthy and wrong-headed FW strips ever in the history of forever. Excuse me, I need to go take another shower. The second-hand nastiness just doesn’t seem to want to wash off.

  26. Smirks 'R Us

    No more comments necessary IMO. Sarge nailed it. A new low (or just the latest?).

  27. Gyre

    What. What is this. I earnestly thought that this was a prank. Maybe someone hacked the site or something. So I went to check a physical newspaper. Nope, that was actually what was written.

    Mr. Batiuk, by this point all I can say is that I honestly hope you are deliberately trying to get your strip cancelled. The alternative is that you thought this was somehow “okay”.

  28. Professor Fate

    As charming as a dead cat this strip is a buffet of ugly wrongness with more than a hint of utter creep about it. Well done Mr. Batiuk. A new low.

  29. balthazar

    the comments on this one over at comics kingdom are golden.

  30. Nothing should ever make you hate what you are, but sometimes Tom Batuik makes me hate being a girl.

  31. John

    I give up.

    Tom, you do nice things for your loved ones because you LOVE them.


    Anyone who only does kind acts because they want said loved ones to owe them a favor never understood love in the first place.

    This not only isn’t funny or charming, Tom, it’s one of the most disgusting, repulsive and warped perversions I’ve ever seen on the funny pages. Ever.

  32. Epicus Doomus

    It’s not merely the obnoxious dialog, it’s the way Dinkle seemingly demands plaudits for simply NOT being a giant selfish self-absorbed dick for a few minutes every fifty years. Small wonder that hardly anyone showed up to his hastily-tossed together party, the act has to be wearing thin on even the most devout Westviewians.

  33. Charles

    This not only isn’t funny or charming, Tom, it’s one of the most disgusting, repulsive and warped perversions I’ve ever seen on the funny pages. Ever.

    Yeah, there have been quite a few strips that were appalling, some of them referred to in this very thread. But this, this is vile.

    There is no fashion that this could be read in jest that makes it any less vile.

    It’s just more evidence that TB has sociopathic tendencies.

  34. Who wants to bet one of the dies/gets a heart attack after/during sex?

  35. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Gyre: “I earnestly thought that this was a prank. Maybe someone hacked the site or something.”

    We may need to bring in Captain Sum Ting Wong for questioning on this one.

  36. balthazar

    Ho Lee Fuk is the guy for this.