Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

Here’s hoping I’m misreading today’s strip and Darrin and Jess aren’t the proud parents of four bouncing baby boys. That’d be hard to manage, even with Darrin’s lead tech consultant role at Montoni’s Pizza. It’s a strange strip; not only do we get five panels instead of 4, but ever single person looks genuinely happy at the news. Darrin looks so ecstatic he’s almost unrecognizable, Ann looks ready to drop that 10 lb phone she’s holding she’s so happy. Random Stranger Darrin Called looks pleased, too, as Funky shares the news at the greasy pizza joint. Les isn’t smirking, we’ll just have to leave it at that.

We don’t know the name yet, of course, but we do know he’s a Scorpio born in the year of the Snake. Delightful.

23 Comments

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23 responses to “Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

  1. “Oh crap,” Tom Batiuk told his imaginary friend Hank, “everyone’s already ragging on me for naming the baby Lisa! How the Hell could they have known? YOU didn’t talk…did you, Hank? Well, never mind. What can I do? The strip is due in twenty minutes!”

    “What’s that, Hank? Say, that’s not a bad idea!”

  2. bad wolf

    “Lisa” + son = “Lison”

    Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

  3. Flappy

    little Les my guess, does anybody know who is in 3rd panel ?

  4. The good news: the baby will most likely not be named after Lisa.
    The bad news: the baby most likely will be named after Jess’ Father John Darling Who Was Murdered.

  5. Rusty

    My guess for third panel is Jess’s mom, who was married to John Darling, the father of Jess, and who died by murder. John Darling, that is, was murdered, and hence in now deceased.

    Baby name? Wally Jr.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Hark the maudlin losers sing
    Glory to the newborn king
    Derwin Jr. born of pizza,
    Grandchild of the vaunted Lisa.

    But not really because you see,
    Retcon job that sickened me
    In Westview-town a loser sired,
    This whole arc just makes me tired.

    Sorry about that. Check out the ultra-rare five paneler today! That’s basically the Honus Wagner card or 1804 silver dollar of the Funkyverse right there. And Jessica’s mother Mrs. Darling (ack) makes an extremely rare appearance too. Both regular FW readers who realized who she is must be thrilled. Nice to see Darin’s other, inconsequential mother too.

    Odds on the name:
    Darin Jr.: 7-1
    Boy Boy Lisa: 1,000-1
    Lison: (god damn that’s a good one bad wolf) 50-1
    Something really dumb: even

  7. PolarBear

    From left to right: 1. Reasonably-drawn expression of joy; 2.Reasonably-drawn expression of joy; 3. Hatchet-face; 4. Hatchet-face; 5. Reasonably-drawn expression of joy.

    Three for five makes it a win for Batiuk. Well done, Tom. Well done.

  8. Gyre

    Seriously, had a pretty rocky start but this week’s ended on what could actually be a high note (if you have lowered expectations). No Lisa MK. 2, Batiuk remembered Darin’s actual mother (the woman who raised him all those years) and these people have expressions resembling joy.

  9. How about Frankie after the bio-grandpa? Just kidding.

  10. Chyron HR

    “John Darling Moore.”

    Yes, of course the baby’s last name will be Moore. It’s not like the Fairgoods were Darin’s real parents.

  11. Because the baby wasn’t female like Darin’s deceased biomom Lisa, I think Darin will call him Frederick Darin Fairgood, after his adopted father, who suffered a stroked earlier this year and is the husband of Ann “Fishstick Annie” Fairgood, who lead the Westview girls basketball team, on which was Darrin’s half sister and sporto Summer, to the state hoops champo in 2012, two year after Funky, half-owner of Montoni’s Pizza, sold his copy of STARBUCK JONES #1, which he bought as a teenager because his future self advised him to, to pay the rent on the building.

    Let’s see: Death, invented words, suffering, clunky exposition, Pizza, comic books, flashbacks, goofy plot resolution. I think I have created the perfect FUNKY WINKERBEAN sentence. I’m so proud of myself.

  12. They should name the babby “Pepper,” short for “Pepperoni.”

  13. billytheskink

    Special Preview of tomorrow’s strip.

  14. Epicus Doomus

    billytheskink: Awesome, bonus points for Cell Phone Girl. TB could conceivably go on for months with this.

  15. John

    Darin: “It’s a…YOB-YOB-YOB-YOB!”

    Ann: “…what.”

    Blond Woman Who May or Not Be The Widow of the Murdered John Darling: “Wow. I came out of Limbo for this?!?”

    Funky: “Today’s lesson: I’m your boss, not your FRIEND. Stop calling me at work!”

    Les: “I always knew that Lisa’s holy blood would bring many Yobs into this world.”

  16. Jim C

    I don’t get it.
    Is it a boy?
    Quadruplets?
    Or is everyone’s reaction just “Boy!” like they say in Ohio, “Boy, howdy!”? (Maybe they don’t say that commonly in Ohio, but when has that stopped TB?)
    The only clue that it really is a boy is Funky’s use of sign language for Mr. Montoni, since Funky really isn’t convinced a man with such an ethnic name really understands the English language, so he’s signifying a penis using his thumb.

  17. Panel 3 is an excellent illustration of what’s wrong with the way Tom Batiuk tells stories. We have no idea who this woman is (none of us except TFH, I mean). She just appears out of the blue with nothing to establish her earlier in the arc. Y’know, in yesterday’s FunkyTony bland-out, one of them could have used some balloon-space to say, “Jessica didn’t even have time to call her mother” or some such hackery. But no, Tom Batiuk assumes that these characters are so universally beloved that OF COURSE we instantly recognize this woman.

    Well, his characters are universally something’d all right, but it sure isn’t “beloved.”

  18. Epicus Doomus

    BC: I only know of Jessica’s mother via her sepia-toned John Darling flashbacks, I honestly have no idea if she’s ever actually appeared as a FW character at all. I mean I assume she MUST have at some point, maybe, but I just took an educated guess. I likewise assume she never re-married because how could she possibly move on after being wed to such an iconic comic character?

  19. Believe me, I’m not proud of myself for recognizing Jan Murdoch Darling! I mean, we haven’t seen her since June…

    …and before that, it was almost three years…

  20. John

    She looks older in the flashback strip than she did three years ago, wherein she resembles a “Grey” wearing a wig.

  21. Evidently neither amniocentesis nor ultrasound has arrived in Westview, despite it being between 2013 and 2023 there.

  22. Charles

    Darin’s face in the first panel is terrifying. It looks like some grotesque Rio de Janeiro Mardi Gras mask.

    That said, I’m harsh on him frequently, so I have to give him credit for showing Darin calling Jess’s mom right after his own mother, even if I only knew it was her from the process of elimination. I would not have been surprised if he had not included Jess’s family in any of the panels, and instead showed Ghost Lisa in the last panel, celebrating.

    So one point for Batiuk, which he almost lost by having the final panel feature Les. After all, the family connections get pretty convoluted before Darin arrives at Les.